


Critical Fail

by Lews_Therin_Talamon



Category: Heathers, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, F/F, F/M, I'll fix this at some point, how specific do tags go, i have no idea what to put here, uhhh, veronica Sawyer - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:06:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 36,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lews_Therin_Talamon/pseuds/Lews_Therin_Talamon
Summary: Veronica, Betty, and Martha haven't really spoken with the Heathers since their falling out when the latter group became popular in sophomore year of high school. They've all more or less accepted the loss of the people they'd once considered friends by this point. But when Martha hatches a bizarre plan to reunite the two groups, and with Betty's strange cousin arriving soon, if everything somehow worked out, there just might be a way to go back to how things used to be. And maybe even a little more.(Heathers AU where everyone does a DnD campaign together, but that didn't sound dramatic enough for my summary so it's getting parenthesized) (Also this is largely a chat fic but there are big text parts sometimes, it's probably about 50-50) (Just so you know)





	1. And Martha Had an Idea, an Awful Idea, Martha Had a Wonderful, Awful Idea-

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here we go. I didn't think I'd ever be able to write anything longer than a tentative one-page beginning to a story, but here we are. This will have many, many consistency errors, which I sincerely apologize for, but it's my first ever fic so I hope to improve as the story goes on. Hopefully the characters aren't completely terrible, and I manage to get all of them onscreen for enough time eventually. Credit to the amazing story Heather Cubed for inspiring this and many other chat fics, credit to the wonderful members of the TAG AU (also an amazing story) discord for like half the HCs used in this story, and credit to With that said, usual disclaimers of "I can't write for shit" apply, if you have the time pleeeeeease comment and tell me what I can do better, and see you at the bottom of the story :)

_ November 15, 5:16 PM _

 

_ V-Soysauce has joined _

_ berryFinn has joined _

_ Duche has joined _

_ Macncheese has joined _

_ ScarletBitch has joined _

 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** veronica sent me a link to this, whats going on?

**Duche:** What she said.

**berryFinn:** martha had a terrible idea and she managed to convince us to go along with it….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** who the fuck are you??

**berryFinn:** betty finn, dumbass

**Scarlet-Bitch:** why is your name spelled like that

**berryFinn:** YOUR NAME ISNT EVEN YOUR NAME

**Macncheese:** guys be nice what’s going on

**V-Soysauce:** I get Here two Minutes Late and this is what Happens

**Duche:** Oh this was your idea, why am I not surprised.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you and your grammar

**Marsha:** Actually this was my idea!

**Marsha:** So I was talking to veronica the other day

**Marsha:** And she told me you guys used to do DnD a lot before high school

**Marsha:** And then you you fell out of doing it when you girls got randomly popular all of a sudden

**Duche:** Oh I see where this is going

**Macncheese:** hey it was sort of on purpose

**Scarlet-Bitch:** am I missing something here what the hell is dnd

**V-Soysauce:** dungeons and dragons???? Hello???

**V-Soysauce:** oh shit you never really did that did you it was mostly duke and martha and I

**Marsha:** So since none of us have talked in way too long I wanted to ask if any of you wanted to join us in a game sometime! I’m an okay enough DM and we’ve had some fun sessions over the past couple months, so I felt bad that none of you ever saw us anymore.

**berryFinn:** martha we don’t see them because they’re assholes

**Scarlet-Bitch:** said the loser who thought wearing those glasses was a good idea

**berryFinn:** IT WOULDNT BE A PROBELM IF YOU WERENT HERE

**V-Soysauce:** CALM THE FUCK DOWN 

**V-Soysauce:** heather be Nice for Two Fucking Seconds

**V-Soysauce:** betty shut up

**Macncheese:** I played with you guys a couple times, I remember it being kinda fun….

**Marsha:** That’s the spirit!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no heather dont let them corrupt you

**V-Soysauce:** please I can tell You Aren’t Serious no one has said the Word Corrupt unironically in Five Hundred years

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you wanna go bitch

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hold on where the fuck is heather

**Duche:** ….

**Duche:** I was gonna say yes….

**Macncheese:** yay someone agrees with me!

**berryFinn:** martha if this works I’m going to be mad at you bcause I’ll owe veronica 20 bucks

**V-Soysause:** I told you Not to Mention that

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NO GUYS 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WE STOPED HANING OUT WITH THEM FOR A REASON

**V-Soysauce:** new Headcanon, Heather chandler spells worse the Angrier she Gets

**Marsha:** You know that’s kind of rude, no one pays much attention to us but it’s not like everyone hates us

**Marsha:** And it’s not like people follow you around outside of school right

**Macncheese:** I mean….

**Duche:** That’s not… unheard of….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** if we get seen playing dnd our reputations will be fucked I only survive in school because everyone loves me

**Scarlet-Bitch:** or id be failing half the classes

**berryFinn:** wait people seriously stalk you guys?

**V-Soysauce:** you know Heather you Could ask Someone for Help by being Nice

**Scarlet-Bitch:** this conversation is over

**Marsha:** I’m sorry I’m kind of busy could you girls just say yes or no? I’d love it if you were all there :)

**berryFinn:** give up Martha their hearts are of stone

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck you and still no

**Macncheese:** hey aren’t we free saturday?

**Duche:** Yes.

**Macncheese:** and there’s no party that night so we could probably stop by martha’s early and leave later without people seeing

**Duche:** Listen I think it could be fun it’s not me you have to convince here.

**Duche:** …

**Duche:** Don’t tell anyone but I still have a lot of old character sheets

**Macncheese:** pleeeeease Heather you don’t have to come if you don’t want to even

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck no if I leave you two alone the losers will corrupt you

**V-Soysauce:** ~~you just said that to Prove my Point about the Word Corrupt wrong~~

**V-Soysauce:** FUCK wrong chat system

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I did not fuck you I don’t care about what you say

**Macncheese:** so is that a yes or a no??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I guess if I’m there once couldn’t hurt that much….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** but I don’t know how the fuck dnd or whatever works so you’ll have to explain it

**Duche:** YES

**Macncheese:** yay! 

**Macncheese:** wow Heather you’re enthusiastic

**Duche:** I can be happy okay Heather.

**Marsha:** Oh good! I’m happy you agreed I’ll see you guys then :)

**berryFinn:** Martha I love you but cool it with the smileys it looks like a chainsaw murderer

**Marsha:** :(

**berryFinn:** fuck that makes me sad no

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait where are we doing this and what time???

**Marsha:** I have to go finish baking stuff for my mom’s birthday, sorry. We can plan out the times tonight!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait no I dont want to talk in here more than necessary

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck

**Duche:** Don’t be a killjoy and go get character sheets ready. 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I DONT KNOW HOW THIS GAME WORKS HEATHER

**Duche:** Fuck, right, I’ll talk to you about it later….

**Macncheese:** do me too I don’t remember much, we haven’t played in years

**V-Soysauce:** was this a Good Idea

**berryFinn:** no

**V-Soysauce:** don’t be so Negative

**Duche:** I have to go teach Heather and Heather how this game works, we can set a time tonight. 

**Duche:** I think Heather’s gone so between us thanks I think this’ll be fun.

**berryFinn:** one of the heathers is being nice, alert the media

**Duche:** WE’RE NICE HEATHER’S IN CHARGE AROUND HERE

**Macncheese:** the other day someone was bothering you at lunch so you started threatening him using out of context lovecraft quotes and he got so scared he ran away and then tripped into the trash can

**V-Soysauce:** oh my god

**Duche:** Okay maybe you’re the nicer one

**V-Soysauce:** wait didn’t I do that back in Middle School

**V-Soysauce:** and I got detention for like two months

**Duche:** Shhh

**V-Soysauce:** wow we did a lot of stupid stuff

**V-Soysauce:** pity heather Wasn’t There much

**Duche:** Well, she’s coming this weekend if only because of lack of faith in us, so she’ll get to experience the fun that is Martha’s DMing….

**Marsha:** Aww look at you two old friends talking :)

**V-Soysauce:** YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE BAKING 

**Duche:** : l

**Duche:** I should go, Heather’s over and I’m hearing loud noises from downstairs.

**V-Soysauce:** which Heather

**Duche:** Mac

**Martha:** Well see you on Saturday! Glad to know everyone’s happy about this plan :)

**berryFinn:** not me I’m still out 20 bucks

**V-Soysauce: ;** )

_ The chat group has been renamed “DnD Planning Chat” _

 

**DnD Planning Chat**

_ November 15, 12:41 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** werent we supposed to decide what time this was at

**V-Soysauce:** Martha goes to bed Stupid Early she probably Forgot

**berryFinn:** Veronica haven’t you been trying to get more sleep

**V-Soysauce:** trying, yes

**V-Soysauce:** not my fault if I’m Failing

**berryFinn:** veronica that’s my logic 

**berryFinn:** dOn’t sTeaL my BraNd

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I still dont know how this game works idiots

**Duche:** It’s too late to discuss DnD mechanics….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what I thought you said this game wasnt that complicated

**berryFinn:** lololololololol

**Duche:** It’s not that bad!

**berryFinn:** it kinda is

**Scarlet-Bitch:** how much time is this going to take

**Duche:** No idea. We’ll start after school tomorrow. I’d stop by your place but I don’t want to move everything so I’ll probably video call you. Unless you want to come over?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hell no your room smells like the fucking locker room callings fine

**V-Soysauce:** wtf Why

**berryFinn:** ^

**Duche:** I spend a lot of time in there okay

**Duche:** No one’s usually in it but me

**Scarlet-Bitch:** Heather has a gaming addiction

**Duche:** I do fucking not

**Scarlet-Bitch:** when the news wows expansion or whatever came out you literally skipped school for two days to play it.

**berryFinn:** wait I thought you had pneumonia??

**Duche:** First of all WoWs and WoW are completely separate games

**Duche:** Secondly at least my room doesn’t smell like a cheap perfume shop exploded in it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck you, your name is douche

**Duche:** Hey duche is an old english word for a kingdom ruled by a duke or duchess

**Duche:** It’s pronounced “dukey”

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NEEEEEEEEERD

**berryFinn:** the hell I thought no one knew that but me

**berryFinn:** red Heather your friends aren’t so bad

**V-Soysauce:** >red heather

**berryFinn:** chainsaw or whatever your name is

**Duche:** OMG

**Scarlet-Bitch:** CHANDLER, IDIOT

**V-Soysauce:** PFFFT I’m calling you That from Now On

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FINN I WIL LEND YOU

**berryFinn:** lend me to who

**Scarlet-Bitch:** DLJSDKJF

**V-Soysauce:** btw where the hell is Heather

**berryFinn:** sleeping like a normal person?

**Duche:** You’re not sleeping?

**berryFinn:** no one here is normal dukass

**V-Soysauce:** how is that Even Pronounced

**berryFinn:** “duke ass”

**V-Soysauce:** right

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we need to have a discussion about these names

**Duche:** I need to go, bye 

**berryFinn:** at least one of us is smart

**Duche:** What?

**Duche:** Oh going to bed

**Duche:** Right

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you’re going back to playing wow again aren’t you

**Duche:** oh fuck you

 

_ November 16, 4:03 PM _

 

_ Heather Chandler has just gotten home from school. She strides into her fairly sizeable house with a grimace on her face, not bothering to take her shoes off before quickly walking up the stairs and turning left down the hall to her room. She figures it’s best to just avoid contact with her parents, that’ll make things easier for everyone right now. Best not dwell on that. Her bag is tossed to the side carelessly and she flicks one of the lights on, before immediately being put off by the brightness and slamming the switch off again. She removes her uncomfortable (but necessary of course) shoes and flops down on the bed, sighing.The room appears almost red as the dim light from the overcast sky filters through the thick curtains. The room is large, but not uncomfortably so. Her bed sits in the center, and crammed in the corner are several easels. As if someone had shoved them deliberately out of sight. There’s a moment of silence. Then the phone rings. _

_ Swearing violently, she stands up and walks (anyone else would’ve been described as stomping, but such a term is too mundane for the person in question to ever consider it applying to herself) over to a table she threw her phone on, intending to silence it. But seeing the number, she remembers the plans from last night, and her face brightens somewhat as she immediately takes the video call. _

 

**Duke:** Hey, what’s up?

**Chandler:** Ugh, nothing. Another shitty day, as par the course. 

**Duke:** Sorry. You still up for learning more DnD rules?

**Chandler:** Happy to, it can distract me from the pain of existence.

**Duke:** What else is the game for, really…. Oh, you might want some paper or something. That way you can write shit down as you go and just copy it onto a character sheet later or something. Heather’s probably going to join us in a bit, too, she wanted a refresher on the rules. 

**Chandler:** Right, right….

 

_ She stands up, runs her hand through her hair, and walks around the dim room for a moment, picking up a notepad from a table on the other side of the room and absentmindedly grabbing a handful of pens before returning to the desk. She sets the phone up on a stack of forgotten textbooks and looks at Duke for the first time.  _

_ The latter is also in her dim room, though it seems smaller. Duke’s reclining in what looks like a gaming chair, her hair kind of messed up. Various figures can be seen on her desk, along with a stack of several books and character sheets.  _

 

**Duke:** Ready?

**Chandler:** Yeah. You said Mac was showing up?

**Duke:** Mhm, she said she’d be here 4:15 or so.

**Chandler:** She’d better hurry the fuck up, I’m tired.

**Duke:** _ chuckles dryly _ Well, I’m not sure thi-

_ The phone buzzes again, and another window slides into place _

**Mac:** Hey guys!

**Duke:** Sup.

**Chandler:** About fucking time. 

 

_ Mac’s room is the largest out of the three of them. She’s leaning in excitedly towards the camera, over a desk that’s a bit too tall for her. Somehow her force of personality seems to make up the height imbalance, though. A stack of paper and dice sits next to her. The quality of her camera isn’t great, as if it’s not something to use that often. _

 

**Mac:** So I didn’t remember too much so I’ve been reading about the game and stuff, I have some character ideas? I dunno which of them are good though, I don’t really know what I’m doing….

**Duke:** Yeah that’s fine, Heather doesn’t even know how anything works so you’re good.

**Chandler:** Oh fuck off I’ll pick it up fast enough.

**Duke:** \- But anyway let’s go. 

_ She opens a fairly large red book and starts flipping through. _

So, DnD’s a roleplaying game, which I’m sure you guys know. I mean, a lot of the time it kinda focuses all around combat but that’s not really the point. You have a character and you have to play through quests with your part of adventurers and solve problems and win battles together. It can be a lot of fun.

**Chandler:** I thought you hadn’t played this in like five years?

**Duke:** Some of the games I still play are similar.

**Chandler:** Of course they are.

**Mac:** So making a character’s probably the first thing you should do right?

**Duke:** _ rolls her eyes before turning to Mac  _ Yeah, pretty much. First thing you need to know that in this game everything is based around dice.  _ She holds up a d20  _ Every time in the game when you want to do something you usually have to roll one of these. 

**Chandler:** So everything I do is up to chance? That’s bullshit.

**Mac:** No, wait, isn’t the point of character making to stick as many numbers onto your dice rolls as possible?

**Duke:** Yeah, pretty much. That’s where your stats come in. You see, the main components of your character are their stats and class….

 

_ Much, much later _

 

**Chandler:** So is there even a logical reason to take anything but Wish at 17th level…?

**Duke:** No, but I wouldn’t worry about that, I think this campaign’s level one. 

**Mac:** What?! I just spent three hours on this backstory about how I’m an experienced adventurer! I wrote out all the ways previous adventures have impacted my personality and everything….

**Chandler:** I thought you spent the afternoon tryharding that fucking history essay for Mr. Heere?

**Mac:** _ grins  _ I did both!

**Chandler:** _ rolls her eyes but smiles a bit _ Of course you did.

**Duke:** I kind of want to read both of those now…. Anyway we’re almost done, your spell lists are gonna be pretty short.

**Mac:** No spells for me! Barbarians are more fun anyway.

**Chandler:** Maybe if you want to rush into combat and die like an idiot. 

**Duche:** You seem to know a lot about the fighting style for someone who “hates this fucking loser game and is only playing it because us two idiots won’t shut up”.

**Chandler:** Don’t put words in my mouth.

**Duche:** Mhm.

**Mac:** It’s funny how different you talk when you’re tired…

**Chandler:** _ begins to say “Shut up Heather” before pausing and instead letting a derisive snort _

Sue me. The further away in time from the fucking mess that is our school, the happier I’ll be. 

 

_ The other two nod resignedly. She’s right. Mostly. _

 

_ The three sit like that for a moment, each thinking on something unknown to the others. Or they like to think, at any rate. The Heathers have been together long enough that for better or worse, they know each other well enough to each know more than the other thinks about themselves.  _

 

**Duche:** Anyway, I’d better go. Are you three set?

**Mac:** Yup, should be good!  _ She scoots her chair back and springs out of it  _ I need to rewrite my backstory! Ooh I wonder if I can incorporate some of those poems I finished into the lore….

**Chandler:** _ looking somewhat bemused  _ I’m good for now. Talk to you later, losers.

**Duche:** Au revoir, salope. 

**Mac:** See you guys tomorrow! Looking forward to saturday!

 

_ The call closes, leaving Heather Chandler sighing both in resentment towards McNamara’s last words and reluctant happiness at the proceedings of the talk. Almost four hours have passed.  _

_ It’s been a long time since they’ve talked for that long about anything without it degrading into an argument.  _

_ ….Perhaps, just maybe, this whole game thing might be a good idea. And not just for the game itself. _

_ Heather Chandler lies down on her bed again, clutching her notebook, and stares at the ceiling. Thinking. _

  
  


**Meanwhile….**

 

_ Veronica Sawyer also lay on her bed that day. Her room was considerably smaller than any of the Heathers, but no less comfortable for it. Her phone sits discarded next to her, and a paused knitting project is strewn across half the bed. The lights were off, and the dim light filtering in through the window from the steely November sky gave the room a deep blue tint. Not sad; or not sad alone. Merely thoughtful.  _

_ The girl suddenly picks up her phone from on her pillow next to her, and, out of impulse or boredom, opens a much-used texting window. _

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 16th, 6:58 PM _

**V-Soysauce:** sup

**berryFinn:** absolutely nothing of value

**berryFinn:** life is meaningless

**berryFinn:** those of us who search for meaning are the most delusional of all, for it is we who deceive societity into its cruel delusion of accomplishment

**V-Soysauce:** and you’d have Gotten Away with It too, if it hadn’t been for that One Little Typo.

**berryFinn:** FUCK

**berryFinn:** the universe is against me

**berryFinn:** but anywho how about that bet

**V-Soysauce:** you’ll get your Money soon enough SCrooge

**V-Soysauce:** more Important thing is, What about the Heathers?

**berryFinn:** what about them, they’re assholes

**V-Soysauce:** Please when do You even talk to Them

**berryFinn:** I don’t, and they don’t talk to me

**berryFinn:** they sure as hell didn’t have a problem talking about me tho

**V-Soysauce:** oh fuck I forgot about That

**V-Soysauce:** I know what you Mean but I’ve Talked to Them a lot Recently and they’ve changed, really. they’re not exactly Great People but they worry about the Same things We do. honestly

**V-Soysauce:** just give Them a Chance

**V-Soysauce:** and you know What if they blow it Fuck Them

**V-Soysauce:** I’ll be all with you Then, but its Worth a Shot I think

**V-Soysauce:** saturday’s the day After Tomorrow, we’ll Know soon Enough

**berryFinn:** yeah you’re probably right. And if I never talk to them I never get to tell them to their faces what I think.

**berryFinn:** namely chainsaw

**V-Soysauce:** I love you but saying “Chainsaw” casually as someone’s Name is not a good Way to incite serious Conversation

**berryFinn:** oh fuck you with a christmas tree

**V-Soysauce:** OOh I FORGOT TO START MY CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN

**berryFinn:** chrIST VERONICA ITS NOVEMBER 16

**V-Soysauce:** THE SEASONS UPON US

**V-Soysauce:** IT ST TAHt TIME OF YEAR

**berryFinn:** oh for the love of

**berryFinn:** THEREs BRANDY AND EGGNOG

**V-Soysauce:** THEES PLENTY OF CHEER

**berryFinn:** not to get us back on track or anything

**V-Soysauce:** scrooge

**berryFinn:** I was gonna admit you were right but now that I know how you really feel-

**V-Soysauce:** sorry

**berryFinn:** douche heather seems pretty cool and mac is nicer than I remember

**V-Soysauce:** I think it’s “dukey” or Something right?

**berryFinn:** yeah just checked

**berryFinn:** seriously though someone with a wow addiction could be fucking ebeneezer scrooge and I’d want to talk to them more

**V-Soysauce:** I thought You just liked games and Stuff for the Tech?

**berryFinn:** yeah but I bet her system’s pretty cool if it holds up to someone like that

**V-Soysauce:** that reminds me, How’s the Robotics club Doing?

**berryFinn:** buncha little twerps

**berryFinn:** think they know everything, they do

**berryFinn:** but I’ll whip em into shape you wait and see

**V-Soysauce:** lol I expect Videos

**berryFinn:** ask and you shall receive, oh great one

**berryFinn:** once you pay me that is

**V-Soysauce:** yeah yeah

**V-Soysauce:** where’s Martha?

**berryFinn:** I called her for like a second earlier, she’s putting a shit ton of work into this campaign and she’s been busy around the house anyway

**berryFinn:** she said she’ll talk more tomorrow 

**berryFinn:** ...she also said what you said about the Heathers which is the only reason I’m listening to you

**V-Soysauce:** okay That’s Fair

**V-Soysauce:** you up to Anything Interesting?

**berryFinn:** nah, was playing trombone earlier to piss off my little brother but that got dull because our music is easy as fuck and there’s only so much improv you can do

**berryFinn:** oh I just had a great character idea

**V-Soysauce:** ???

**berryFinn:** ‘tis a secret >:)

**V-Soysauce:** oh you’re no Fun

**berryFinn:** all shall be revealed on saturday

**berryFinn:** you?

**V-Soysauce:** what am I Doing? 

**V-Soysauce:** not much, was knitting earlier but I’ve been Better Lately so it’s been less….

**berryFinn:** obsessive?

**V-Soysauce:** come on it Helps with Anxiety and I’m getting Pretty Good at it

**berryFinn:** the last stuff you made looked like something out of that part of harry potter where hermione’s making hats and they all look like misshapen lumps

**V-Soysauce:** An insult Specific and Potterish enough for me to Take it as a Compliment :)

**V-Soysauce:** you should Try it

**berryFinn:** nope

**berryFinn:** I’m set with my meme instrument and my robots

**berryFinn:** human companionship is for weaklings

**V-Soysauce:** mhm. Well I’ll see you Tomorrow then?

**berryFinn:** oh by the way

**berryFinn:** my cousin’s coming to visit in like 4 days

**berryFinn:** just thought you should know

**V-Soysauce:** why, is he Weird?

**berryFinn:** sort off?? He’s hard to describe

**berryFinn:** I haven’t seen him in a long time

**V-Soysauce:** oh, I’ll stop by and say Hi or something then

**berryFinn:** sounds good

**berryFinn:** and yeah see you tomorrow probably

**V-Soysauce:** >probably

**V-Soysauce:** “the great betty finn needs not such mortal hindrances as school”

**berryFinn:** you know it babe

**V-Soysauce:** no homo

**berryFinn:** all the homo

**V-Soysauce:** seriously though I Gotta Go, history paper I’ve been Putting off For Heere

**berryFinn:** fuck same

**berryFinn:** you’re a corrupting influence on me

**V-Soysauce:** I’m sure you’ll Survive doing your Work

**berryFinn:** adios

**V-Soysauce:** <o/

 

_ In their separate rooms, the two friends set down their phones, grinning as always. Some friendships stay closer than others.... _

  
  



	2. Forced Social Interaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting chapters 1-3 all at once so all previous notes apply I suppose

**Chapter 2:**

  
  


**T3h L337 s| <w4d**

_ November 17, 10:28 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** …

**Scarlet-Bitch:** heather what did we say about the chat name

**Duche:** Oh, fine

_ The chat group has been renamed “The Gay Trifecta” _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** HEATHER WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

**Duche:** >:)

_ The chat group has been renamed “the Heath Squad” _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** is that Heath like heath bars or Heath like “hehth”

**Duche:** It’s open to interpretation I guess

**Scarlet-Bitch:** whatever good enough

**Macncheese:** hey guys!

**Macncheese:** ooh I like heath bars

**Scarlet-Bitch:** stop being happy it’s 10:30 in the morning

**Macncheese:** it’s friday bitch 

**Duche:** Heather aren’t you painting right now?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sdkfasdsdl yes but it’s not working

**Duche:** I thought you liked that

**Scarlet-Bitch:** HANDS ARE HARD fUCK YOU

**Macncheese:** yeah I know how you feel, I’m in english and I’m so not feeling it today

**Macncheese:** used up all the creative juice yesterday i guess

**Scarlet-Bitch:** thats what you get for putting too much time into dumb roleplays or whatever

**Duche:** Oh please you were having fun.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah well now its tomorrow and I’m back to regretting my decisions

**Macncheese:** isn’t it never tomorrow?

**Macncheese:** when you think about it

**Duche:** Too philosophical for this time of day Mac

**Scarlet-Bitch:** seriosly if thsi class is going this basly i might jsut ditch after tshis

**Macncheese:** heather are you drunk

**Scarlet-Bitch:** IM TRYING PT TAINT WITH OEN HADN FCUKF OFF

**Duche:** lol

**Macncheese:** lol

**Duche:** Where to though the mall’s closed 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** again???!!

**Duche:** Yeah they keep closing for maintenance or whatever? I think they’re gonna close soon

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHAT

**Macncheese:** oh thatll suck we used to go there all the time

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHY IS EVERY MALL LCOSING

**Duche:** Probably because you’re their sole source of income??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** IM RICH THATS NO EXCUSE

**Macncheese:** valid

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that doesnt make senwe heather shut up

**Duche:** Not like we can go to one of our houses

**Macncheese:** yeah my parents would kill me for ditching again

**Scarlet-Bitch:** tell me about it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** to be honest mine have been in a fight with me again for a while

**Scarlet-Bitch:** i’ve been trying to stay out of the house

**Duche:** Oh fuck again? Didn’t things just start being less tense

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that ships fucking sailed thanks

**Macncheese:** feel free to crash at my place! The house is so big my parents wouldn’t care too much and they usually understand stuff like that

**Scarlet-Bitch:** thanks heather

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck I think the teachers noticed me on my phone

**Duche:** Careful

**Macncheese:** heather?

**Duche:** I think she got caught

**Macncheese:** oh so her phone’s gone for the period

**Macncheese:** stupid rule

**Duche:** That’s not gonna improve her mood

**Macncheese:** yeah….

**Macncheese:** fuck this is never gonna get written she might have a point

**Duche:** Fuck this day

  
  


**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 17, 10:45 AM _

**berryFinn:** fuck this day

**Marsha:** What’s wrong?

**berryFinn:** okay so I’m getting out of class for a robotics club meeting

**V-Soysauce:** missing Fleming to talk about stuff you like Sounds Fun to me

**berryFinn:** and it turns out they just called the meeting to tell us like half our funding just got cut

**V-Soysauce:** WHAT

**Marsha:** Oh god I’m so sorry! :(

**Marsha:** What does that mean for the club?

**V-Soysauce:** THAT CLUB’S THE TOP PERFORMAING ONE IN THE SCHOOL

**berryFinn:** veronica lol you’re just mad we might lose the vr headsets you spend all your free time on

**V-Soysauce:** okay Fair

**berryFinn:** and yeah, basically we’ll lose a lot of stuff and it’s going to give a big advantage to every other team

**berryFinn:** like we’ll lose probably the simulation shit, those computers are expensive as all hell

**berryFinn:** and probably some of out 3d printers

**Marsha:** You guys had 3D printers???

**berryFinn:** lol yeah we had a couple, probably down to 1 or 0 now

**Marsha:** I’m really sorry I know how much you loved those competitions…

**berryFinn:** thanks but it’s not that bad

**berryFinn:** we’ll probably still be able to compete probably

**berryFinn:** the important bit’s the programming, tbh we’ve been able to get by on superior hardware for the past couple years which is good because I suck at programming

**V-Soysauce:** well I guess you get the Opportunity to Learn…?

**berryFinn:** fuckin silver lining I guess

**berryFinn:** fuck

**berryFinn:** we’re probably gonna lose some of our stuff in the next couple weeks if we can’t afford to keep the equipment maintained

**V-Soysauce:** you Out of the Meeting Now?

**berryFinn:** yeah but I’m in no mood to go back to class tbh

**berryFinn:** especially not to math with half the fricken heathers

**Marsha:** I have a free period next where I’m supposed to be helping in the art classes, but we could hang out if it’ll make you feel better?

**V-Soysauce:** I don’t but Same, who needs History

**V-Soysauce:** already Submitted that Essay anyway

**Marsha:** Nooo I didn’t mean to inspire class ditching….

**berryFinn:** lol we’re so terrible we can find a way to be corrupted by Martha fucking Dunnstock

**V-Soysayce:** shut up You don’t Have a free Period Next either

**berryFinn:** yeah….

**berryFinn:** we’re not supposed to be in the robotics lab outside meetings and the club hours but I was thinking of staying behind and clearing out some of the stuff

**berryFinn:** might as well do it myself you know, don’t want my shit put in the wrong places

**Marsha:** Understandable, once I let someone else clean up my stained glass supplies and I couldn’t find anything

**V-Soysauce:** want help

**berryFinn:** I didn’t want to say so but please yes

**Marsha:** Of course we’ll help! I can head over in twenty minutes or so

**V-Soysauce:** yeah don’t Worry we Got This

**V-Soysauce:** Loser Teamwork Best Teamwork

**berryFinn:** you guys are the best fuck

**V-Soysauce:** gay

**berryFinn:** LDAJDDK NOT WHAT I MEANT SAYWER-

**V-Soysauce:** Commas Save Lives (™)

**Marsha:** LOL, see you guys there in a bit :)

  
  


**The Heath Squad**

_ November 17, 10:54 AM _

**Macncheese:** GAH wrITING IS HARD

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you’re not on a computer how the fuck did you miss three capital letters

**Macncheese:** NOT IMPORTANT

**Duche:** You okay?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** nothing is okay heather

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we live in a world tormented by dispair

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK next period’s math

**Macncheese:** wE liVe iN a sOciEtY

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no

**Duche:** Oof

**Scarlet-Bitch:** anyway that’s it I’m ditching

**Macncheese:** if you’re not good at the class shouldn’t you be sure to not miss it??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah yeah I just can’t right now

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ll torture some loser into giving me the notes

**Duche:** >torture

**Duche:** You mean ask and then take them while their face is redder than the communist manifesto?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** did you seriously just quote 50 shades

**Macncheese:** wait what? That’s not a line from that movie

**Duche:** It’s from the book, I think it’s funny….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** of course you do

**Scarlet-Bitch:** anyway where are we ditching? I don’t want to risk calls home for missing a whole day but we can’t really stay in the school

**Duche:** You have a point, they’re cracking down on people hiding in random classrooms

**Macncheese:** oh wait guys I know

**Macncheese:** so you know the old robotics room

**Duche:** Yeah where the nerds in the tech clubs hang out?

**Macncheese:** yup

**Macncheese:** they just had a meeting but it’s over now and no one’s supposed to be in there outside of club meetings

**Scarlet-Bitch:** so what, we go there?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** aren’t the doors always locked? The losers are crazy paranoid about people stealing their shit

**Macncheese:** there’s a back way in from outside I think

**Duche:** Sounds cold.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you sure? I mean I’m all for ditching class in school but I don’t want to get stuck outside or caught again or anything

**Duche:** The great Heather Chandler, worried about being caught by teachers

**Scarlet-Bitch:** it’s my parents I’m worried about you fuck

**Macncheese:** yeah we should be good

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay then

**Scarlet-Bitch:** meet in the robotics room start of next period

**Duche:** Will do

**Macncheese:** got it

 

_ As Betty Finn waits in the robotics club room, dejectedly fiddling with her supplies, Veronica Sawyer and Martha Dunnstock walk quickly towards the room. Betty perks up as she hears the knock on the door, and immediately lets them in, being careful not to trip on metal parts as she dashes to the door. They strike up a conversation immediately, as they do so often, and set to work.  _

_ Meanwhile, a less happy group of friends stalks around the back of the school, rubbing their hands in the cold, but satisfied at a reprieve from the monotony of classes. They rattle the door handle, glancing around to make sure they’re not followed. The door then slowly slides open, and as the Heathers hurry inside there’s a sudden silence in the room as all parties freeze. _

 

“What the fuck are you idiots doing in here?”

The voice of a scowling Heather Chandler said, immediately recognizable. Duke and McNamara stood uncertainty behind her as the door slowly closed. There was a pause as they surveyed the room. It had the appearance of a place well used; boxes of metal parts and wires lined the side walls, a countertop surface extending out from the wall above them. There were several islands in the room but for the most part the floor was clear. Tape marked various points on the floor, and the smell of burnt metal was noticeable as the door cut off the crisp outside air.

Martha started to respond, before she was cut off by a suddenly far more annoyed Betty Finn;

“I’m the head of this club, dumbass. The school cut our fucking budget and my  _ friends _ are helping me clean some stuff out,” she said in a clipped tone. 

A moment of silence passed. Something deeper was obviously going on; Veronica  glanced uncomfortably at the three of the Heathers in turn, the wrench she was moving forgotten at her side. Martha hesitated, hanging back behind Betty and Veronica. Betty herself glared daggers at Heather Chandler. 

Duke and McNamara looked as uncomfortable as Martha, but Chandler at least attempted to maintain her facade of aloof control. She opened her mouth to utter a condescending command to leave, but cut herself off in a rare moment of self control for reasons unknown to anyone there. The pause extended into awkwardness, and just as Veronica was about to motion for the “losers” to leave- 

“Aren’t you the one who won the stained glass competition last year?”

Everyone’s gaze immediately snapped to the voice, revealing an embarrassed looking Heather McNamara, who immediately looked down from glancing at Martha.

Looking a bit uncertain, the latter responded; “...Yes?”

McNamara looked up again with a slight smile. “I loved your piece…. I’ve always wished I could do stuff like that.”

Betty and Duke both looked bemused. Chandler, however, didn’t appear surprised, a fact not lost on Veronica but that she didn’t immediately pursue. 

“Yeah, I, uh, worked on it for a long time… I have some other stuff in here actually,” Martha responded after a moment, stepping forward for the first time.

Chandler, apparently having snapped back to reality, opened her mouth to speak. “Hold on a second, don’t-”

At that moment Duke spoke up. “You’re the head of the robotics club? What sort of stuff do you guys work on?”

Betty faltered in her glare for a moment before hesitantly responding. “Well, we have competitions every year with the other schools with this program, so we have to make sure we keep up with them….”

And thus began a terribly forced conversation between the Heathers and the Losers. But whatever Duke and McNamara had intended, they’d succeeded in diffusing the staring contest between the groups of friends, so for the moment a hesitant peace had been created.

Martha and McNamara had moved to the side, behind a large countertop with several closed laptops and circuitry systems on it, and unlike the others were managing to have a somewhat civil conversation. Though both of them sent glances to the rest of the group every two seconds or so to confirm that they weren’t going to be crucified for their efforts. Likewise, Duke was drilling Betty on technical specifications, to which she responded warily, migrating slowly towards the other side of the room.

Meanwhile, Chandler and Veronica watched each other in cautious bemusement in the center of the room. After a few moments, Chandler cleared her throat. “So, what were you doing here?”

Veronica shrugged. “Exactly what Betty said. Clearing out all the shit in here that’s going to get thrown out because of the budget cuts. Whatever idiots were going to come in here and clear everything out probably wouldn’t’ve been too careful with it, so she wanted us to help make sure it all stayed in the right spots.”

Heather raised an eyebrow. “Veronica Sawyer the teacher’s pet, skipping classes?”

“It’s for a friend, dipshit. Not something I’d expect you to be familiar with.”

“If you want us to show up tomorrow I’d watch your tongue, Sawyer.”

“Maybe you should give me a reason to. As I recall, last time we talked for real like this, you told us-”

Martha shuffled over, McNamara in tail. The former glanced warningly at Veronica, and the latter turned to Chandler. “Hey, Heather! Martha’s been telling me about her crafts and stuff, you know how I used to do that? Well, I was wondering if, uh, I could maybe hang out in the art hall with her a couple times a week after school? You know, to maybe see if I could learn something?” She looked at her feet, shuffling nervously as she talked.

Chandler glanced between the two of them in disbelief, but her expression softened somewhat as she heard the request. Slightly.

“You want to hang out with  _ her? _ ” she asked, staring at McNamara. “You remember how hard a time you had convincing me to do so tomorrow? At night? Not on a school day?”

“Well, yeah….”

“You’re popular. If people start talking about how you’re doing arts and crafts or whatever with Dumptru-” She cut off as Veronica opened her mouth angrily. “- _ Dunnstock _ over here that’s gonna take a big fucking hit.”

McNamara swallowed. “Yeah, but I can be inconspicuous. Or I can just say I’m working on something for cheerleading! We already do some stuff with the art department for the football games, right?”

She paused and smiled a bit. “Plus, you said ‘how I’m doing arts and crafts’, so you’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you…?”

Chandler looked a bit like a surprised tomato, but after a moment she deflated and sighed. “I suppose you know what you’re doing…”

McNamara grinned wide enough to put the sun out of a job and stepped back. “Thanks! I mean, I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you, since our reputation is so important and stuff, and since you’d be in trouble if it was a problem-”

“Heather I said yes.”

“Right, yeah.” The shorter Heather once again dragged Martha off and the two began an animated discussion about something to do with painting.

After a moment Veronica glanced at Heather, it now being her turn to raise an eyebrow. “You’re okay with that?” 

Heather grimaced and looked to the side. “She… she used to really like crafts and shit like that when we did painting and stuff together, can’t hurt to have her do it again.”

“You used to paint?”

“Sometimes. I grew out of it,” Heather responded, glancing to the side. Almost evasively, but Veronica elected to drop the subject for now.

The two stopped talking for a moment, looking over to Martha and McNamara talking as though they were too old friends. Both looked happier than they’d been in a long while. Veronica looked back to Heather with a slightly softening expression. “You’re glad that she’s happy, aren’t you?”

“Fuck off, Sawyer,” Heather snapped, whipping her head back around. “I’m only here because of how shit this day has been and I don’t need your sentimental crap making it worse. Just be happy we’re letting you stay in here.”

“Defensive, are we-” Veronica cut off as she saw Chandler’s look, but smirked a bit before walking over to Betty and Duke, who were gesturing wildly around a computer. 

Heather Chandler stood there for a moment, wondering how this situation could possibly have turned out like this. But soon she gave what if you knew her could pass for a shrug and, after a while, walked between the two groups and began hesitantly talking. 

_ Maybe tomorrow won’t be  _ that  _ bad. _

 

And so passed the remainder of the period.


	3. The Dungeon Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I subscribe to the "exponentially increasing chapter lengths" formula.

 

**Chapter 3:**

 

**The Heath Squad**

_ November 18, 4:15 PM _

 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** are you guys dead today or something

**Duche:** Sorry I’ve been busy 

**Macncheese:** what she said

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well you idiots better not have a ton of work because I am not setting up tonight for a different time

**Macncheese:** lol I think martha might take issue with you taking authority over shcheduling

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what are you her fucking bestie now

**Scarlet-Bitch:** everything is mine to schedule

**Duche:** Oh really.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yes

**Scarlet-Bitch:** remember that time we had a school day with a party we didnt learn about until that afternoon

**Duche:** Okay that was impressive

**Macncheese:** yeah, I still can’t believe that shopping trip

**Macncheese:** I didn’t know you could get through town that fast

**Macncheese:** I mean we rushed the buying stuff but it was worth it to see you jog in heels

**Duche:** I should’ve recorded that tbh

**Duche:** Honestly you’re lucky we didn’t get arrested 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** please everyone in that mall loves me, remember I’m half their income

**Duche:** I meant the driving we did to get there

**Macncheese:** oh right

**Macncheese:** I don’t think that route was even legal 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I think heather learned how to drive from fast and furious movies 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** point is we got to the party on time and we still looked better than everyone else there

**Duche:** As usual ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** duh

**Macncheese:** anyway guys how are we getting to martha’s tonight

**Scarlet-Bitch:** right….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** so I have a plan

**Duche:** here we go

**Macncheese:** heather?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** so we don’t have a party tonight but all of us but douche live in the rich neighborhood, and people will talk if we’re out late. if we try to sneak around we’ll look conspicuous, so we need to be bold about thigns and just have an excuse ready. we can’t make up a party or something, that won’t hold up. so we’ll have duke pick us up and take us to the mall, and then we’ll leave her car there and walk to dumptruck’s house. then it’ll be late enough that everyone will forget we’re out and we just have to not draw attention to ourselves on the way back.

**Duche:** I think you’re overthinking this but I can’t fault your logic

**Duche:** Also you can’t spell ‘things’ or capitalize words but you spell conspicuous right

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shut up heather

**Duche:** sOrRy hEaThEr

**Macncheese:** sounds like a plan lol

**Macncheese:** you guys got your characters ready? 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I spent like three fucking hours on it with you idiots remember

**Scarlet-Bitch:** if I learned what the word constitution mean for no reason I swear

**Macncheese:** well yeah lol but I worked some more on mine and I didn’t know if you did….

**Duche:** I’m good

**Duche:** Had a bunch lying around, just tweaked the levels.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** of course you did.

**Macncheese:** what are you guys?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you are having way too much fun with this.

**Duche:** So a while ago I did this weird campaign

**Duche:** Our party was pretty normal, I was a ranged fighter and we had a bunch of magic users I think

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NO ONE carES HEATHER

**Duche:** Fake news

**Macncheese:** oh hold on someone else is texting

**Duche:** Same

 

**DnD Planning Chat:**

_ November 18, 4:22 PM _

 

**Marsha:** Sorry if I’m bothering anyone, I had a couple questions! :)

**V-Soysauce:** sup

**berryFinn:** sup

**V-Soysauce:** don’t Steal My Brand finn

**Duche:** What is it?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** this better be important I’m busy

**Duche:** You are fucking not

**Marsha:** So could you girls give me an overview of your characters? Just level and class and stuff, I want to see if there’s any last minute emergency adjustments I need to make.

**Macncheese:** oh we were just discussing that :)

**Duche:** You probably should’ve done that more than 1.5 hours before the session….

**Marsha:** :( I know but I kinda forgot

**Marsha:** I like giving people total freedom over who they choose to play as but sometimes we run into issues

**Marsha:** One time Betty and Veronica both played Avariel and we tried to do a mostly prewritten quest

**Marsha:** That was embarrassing

**berryFinn:** you know we totally did that on purpose right

**V-Soysauce:** betty why’d you Tell Her….

**Marsha:** Yeah I know I forgave you because it was kind of hilarious ;)

**Duche:** You both played Avariel? What kind of unbalanced DM-fucking-over quest was that??

**V-Soysauce:** it was a Meme Fest TBH

**Macncheese:** what are avariel?

**Duche:** Winged elves

**Duche:** They’re usually banned because being able to fly is a stupid fucking OP racial ability

**Macncheese:** wow! Can I be one of those…?

**berryFinn:** PLEASE NO

**V-Soysauce:** ^^^

**Marsha:** ^^^

**Macncheese:** aw okay

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I have no idea what’s going on but my character is a high elf sorcerer

**Scarlet-Bitch:** according to heather I went with fairly standard stuff

**berryFinn:** wonder of wonder miracle of miracles, Heather Chandler plays the high stuck up class of the high stuck up race

**Scarlet-Bitch:** bitch please I didn’t pick any of this knowing what it is

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ll leave that to the nerds

**Marsha:** No negativity in my good christian DnD chat.

**V-Soysauce:** lol

**Duche:** Hey, sorcerers aren’t inherently stuck up

**Duche:** Just because they have high CHA

**berryFinn:** okay fair but it’s chandler sooo

**Duche:** Also fair ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** LFJSDFKDFJ wHY IS EVERHONE AgaInST ME

**V-Soysauce:** because Watching Heather Chandler go LDFAJDFKSFJA is Fun

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK YOU I DONT HAVE TO SHOW TONIGHT I HAVE PLENTY OF BETTER thINGS tO DO

**Macncheese:** I thought you said we could only do this because we had no plans?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** …

**Macncheese:** oh 

**Macncheese:** sorry

**berryFinn:** lol betrayed 

**V-Soysauce:** ANYWAY

**V-Soysauce:** human Wizard, kinda a Weird Spell List but nothing Drastic

**Duche:** Right

**Duche:** Warlock/Ranged fighter multiclass

**berryFinn:** the fuck

**Duche:** There was a quest where it made thematic sense and it turned out to be fun okay

**berryFinn:** fair enough

**Macncheese:** I’m a barbarian!

**V-Soysauce:** why Do I find That So Hilarious

**Macncheese:** I have a lot of backstory

**berryFinn:** because she’s the least barbariany person in existence

**Duche:** Someone hasn’t seen her mad

**berryFinn:** Heather mcnamara gets mad??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** lol yup

**Macncheese:** not that often….

**V-Soysauce:** I gotta See That sometime

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you don’t want to

**Duche:** ^

**Marsha:** Betty?

**berryFinn:** bard of course

**V-Soysauce:** I swear you’re the Only Person who Plays that Class

**berryFinn:** bitch don’t hate on bards

**Duche:** Bards can be cool

**Duche:** Though to be fair more for story than gameplay

**berryFinn:** oh that’s what you think

**Marsha:** Betty is a firm believer in getting the absolute most out of her character while somehow justifying it in-world….

**V-Soysauce:** she min-maxes but it makes sense

**Macncheese:** what’s that mean?

**Marsha:** Min-maxing is when you treat all the stats you don’t need as useless and you pour all your points into the important stuff so it comes out being very powerful but not the most thematically interesting.

**berryFinn:** hey I don’t do that so much anymore

**V-Soysauce:** yeah, because you Can’t As Much in 5e

**Duche:** Fortunately.

**Marsha:** Agreed

**Marsha:** Let me guess you’ve DMd some? XD

**Duche:** Yeah I used to online sometimes and those people are the worst

**Duche:** I mean besides the people who never show up

**berryFinn:** I’m right here you know. and besides it leads to interesting backstories at least

**V-Soysauce:** lol she Has you There, remember that Orphaned Sorcerer Assassin Musician she made?

**Marsha:** Oh yeah, that was something else

**Macncheese:** sorry guys I gotta go, we’ll be there at 6 like we planned!

**Marsha:** See you then! :)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what the fuck you guys are still talking

**V-Soysauce:** some people have Interests, Heather

**berryFinn:** that don’t come at the expense of other people, anyway….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** this conversation is at the expense of my eyes, goodbye

**V-Soysauce:** ….

**berryFinn:** well that was nicer than usual

**V-Soysauce:** no Swearing at All, we must be Growing on Her.

**V-Soysauce:** Martha, you got Everything Set? I’m gonna head Over Early and help you set up. 

**Marsha:** Thanks but you really don’t have to! I’ve got most everything ready and I made cookies

**Marsha:** I hoped since the Heathers aren’t used to anything like this it’d make them feel more at home

**V-Soysauce:** how the Fuck is someone who Goes to Westerberg so Damn Nice

**berryFinn:** Martha is a peculiar being

**berryFinn:** some say she’s guided by the spirit of mr. rogers

**V-Soysauce:** sounds about Right.

**V-Soysauce:** though you’re Going About It wrong, if you want The Heathers to feel At Home you should be Serving the Hearts of Innocents

**Duche:** I’m still here you know

**V-Soysauce:** right

**berryFinn:** she has a point though

**Duche:** Okay fair.

**Duche:** Cookies are a good subsitute for innocent hearts though

**Duche:** We deem this sacrifice acceptable

**V-Soysauce:** lol good

**Marsha:** Glad to hear it ;)

**Marsha:** See you guys in a couple hours then!

**V-Soysauce:** yup!

**berryFinn:** sure

**V-Soysauce:** I’m coming Over now Anyway though

**Marsha:** Okay

 

_ And so Veronica, in an understandable though uncharacteristic good mood, got up and walked around her room gathering her supplies. She took the stairs three at a time, somehow without sustaining injury, and shrugged on a blue jacket from her somewhat monochromatic section of the coat rack. After calling out to her parents somewhere in the house that she was leaving, she leaped off the steps and began walking, her breath fogging in the air. _

_ She arrived at Martha’s fairly quickly. _

 

“Hey Martha!”

The door closed behind Veronica as she rubbed her hands together in the warm air of the Dunnstocks’ mudroom. 

“Oh, hi Veronica!” She heard a voice call from a room off to the left. Veronica grinned and shrugged her jacket off before walking into the living room and dumping her stuff all over the couch. 

The Dunnstocks’ house had always seemed inviting to her. It was small, almost smaller than her own, but the warm colors and the way all the lights were always on made it feel more “cozy” than “cramped”.  _ The Heathers probably won’t see it that way, but fuck them, honestly _ , she thought as she made her way into the kitchen.

Martha stood on the opposite side of the counter, her back turned as she mixed something (presumably cookie dough) in a bowl. She turned, beaming.

“Hi! I’m glad you stopped by early.” Martha was wearing her usual pink unicorn sweatshirt with worn jeans, and her hair was slightly messed up. Probably due to last-minute hurrying around to get things ready for tonight. Martha wasn’t a procrastinator, not really; it was more that she tended to constantly revise things she made, resulting in her rushing to put together something she didn’t think was good enough the moment before it was due to be complete.

Veronica leaned against the counter on the far wall. “Whatcha making?”

“Just chocolate chip cookies. I’m a bit frazzled at the moment and didn’t want to try anything more complicated.”

Veronica raised an eyebrow. “‘Frazzled’?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m nervous, you know? It is, well…. The Heathers coming over.” Martha picked up the bowl carefully and moved it to the island in the center of the kitchen so she could continue talking while facing Veronica. She resumed mixing, occasionally glancing up or adding something or another to the dough. “Gotta make sure everything’s right.”

Veronica snorted in amusement. “I’m not sure anything’s ever ‘right’ enough for them, personally.”

Martha shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to try.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

There was a pause as Martha finished the dough and began scooping it onto a cookie sheet next to the oven. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it,” she said thoughtfully.

“What has?”

“You know, this. Us getting together and having fun playing DnD and stuff.” She set the cookie sheet in the oven and closed it, then turned around to face Veronica, smiling. “I feel like we’ve always been busy.”

Veronica sighed, somewhat guiltily. “Yeah…. I’m really sorry about that honestly, I’ve been having kind of an overwhelming time recently and haven’t been able to do any big stuff like this.” 

Martha nodded. “I know what you mean. School’s been rough lately. Did Fleming give your class that paper yet?”

Veronica looked up. “What paper?”

“You know, the essay on the effects of teaching techniques on student attitude or something?” 

“Fuck, she didn’t. Fantastic, just what I needed.” Veronica rolled her eyes and groaned. “Would it kill her to leave the psychology to the psychology teachers? Just make us read another overanalyzed terrible book or whatever they pay english teachers to do.”

Martha chuckled a bit. “Yeah, she just sorta does whatever in that class, doesn’t she….”

There was a pause, made comfortable by the friends’ shared dislike of everything school related at the moment. After a moment Veronica glanced up, a slight grin on her face. “Well, we can ignore that for now can’t we? It’s DnD night.”

Martha nodded eagerly. “Haven’t been able to say that in way too long.”

“And even though the Heathers are here, we can still have a great fucking time whether they want us to or not.”

“Oh come on, it won’t be as bad as all that,” Martha said, waving her hand dismissively.

Veronica frowned. “Are you sure? You do know what they’re like now, right?”

“Yeah….”

“Actually, I’ve been wondering. I know you think there’s good in everyone and all, and I love you for that, but…. Do you really think that applies to them? Like, I know we used to hang out with them all the time, but ever since sophmore year….”

Martha sighed. “Yeah, I know. But I think if we can just- “

“Martha, the last time I talked to them, when I tried to talk to Heather Chandler, do you know what she said?”

Martha stopped.

“She said that now that things mattered, she couldn’t talk to us anymore, because if she got seen with us ‘it would ruin all the effort she had put in at this fucking school’”, Veronica sarcastically made quotation marks with her fingers, “And that she regretted ever being near us because it gave her bad habits that she had to get rid of now.”

Martha frowned. “She said that?”

Veronica nodded.

“Is that what you were mad about in the robotics room the other day?”

“Yeah,” Veronica said, wincing. “I mean, it was a shitty thing to say. Of course I was pissed at her. We used to be friends, for fuck’s sake….”

Martha nodded sympathetically, but didn’t say anything, perhaps sensing that Veronica wasn’t done.

There was a brief silence, broken only by a particularly strong gust of wind outside.

Veronica slowly opened her mouth to speak again. “And the worst part is…. I kind of see what she meant. I mean… If I could’ve been like that, just by leaving someone behind, I don’t know I if I wouldn’t’ve done it. If I had to leave…. If I could leave you guys behind, just stop talking to you, to become someone that people at our school respected and cared about, and not someone who just gets pushed to the side and has to worry about everything all the time…. I might’ve done that. Not now, but if I’d been able to a year or two ago, maybe.”

Martha nodded again. “I know what you mean. I hate to say it but I might’ve done the same thing, if I could’ve.” She laughed dryly, if Martha was capable of making such a sound. “I guess it’s a good thing that’s not really really gonna be a chance for me, right?”

Veronica sighed. “Yeah, same. It would take a miracle for me to be popular, you know?” She smiled and walked over to Martha, leaning against the cabinets next to her. “Loser solidarity, right?”

“Right.”

“But I understand the Heathers more now, I guess. I guess I didn’t want to think about it. Probably something about not wanting to admit the evils within myself. You know, the kind of thing Fleming would give a sermon on.”

Martha nodded earnestly. “I know, exactly. And that’s part of why I invited them!”

Veronica raised an eyebrow. “How does them betraying us for power motivate you to invite them to a DnD session? Obvious jokes about typical party alignments aside, anyway.”

“Well, see, the reason we’ve been way too out of touch lately is stress and school stuff right?” Martha glanced sideways at Veronica. “By the way, you said you’d been better lately? ….Anxiety-wise, and all?”

“Yeah, it’s weird but it’s been better I guess.”

Martha gave her signature could-cheer-up-Heather-Chandler smile and continued. “Oh, that’s good to hear. I worried, you know, since we hadn’t been talking as much….” She shook her head. “Anyway, I thought that since that had lead to us talking less, maybe the reason the Heathers have become such, you know….”

“Assholes?” Veronica suggested dryly.

“Yeah… pretty much. The reason for that could be that they haven’t had anyone to talk to!”

Veronica looked at Martha in confusion. “They’re the most popular people in the school for christ’s sake, how could they not have anyone to talk to?”

“Well, yeah. But when you think about it, they don’t really talk to anyone or have any friends outside their group, do they? And it’s like you said, they can’t be seen with normal people if they want to stay looking cool and on top of everything.” Martha had begun pacing in the open space to the front of the room. “So since they’re so used to being above everyone else and not being able to talk to anyone, it makes it harder to empathize with people!”

Veronica walked over, a look of incredulity on her face. “You’re saying the Heathers are jerks because they’re  _ lonely? _ ”

“....Yeah, I guess.”

“I mean, if they were normal people maybe….” Veronica said thoughtfully, running her fingers through her hair absentmindedly. “But it’s not like anything they’ve ever done gives the impression that they want to interact with other humans  _ more. _ ”

“That’s the thing though!” Martha said eagerly. “I think that’s partially an act, because they want, no, they need people to think they don’t care about anything!”

Veronica nodded hesitantly, but she was still skeptical.  _ Even someone as paranoid as Heather Chandler couldn’t keep an act up  _ that _ forcefully, right? _

Martha stopped pacing. “And even if I’m wrong….I just thought it would be nice to give them a chance to try, you know? Somewhere they had a chance to act normal, because, well, we’re not exactly the influential crowd at school.”

“Fair enough I guess,” Veronica said.

The two paused for a moment. 

At last, Veronica spoke again. “I guess you have a point,” She conceded reluctantly. “Or, it’s worth a look, at least. I’m still not sold on this, but it can’t hurt too much.”

Martha beamed. “I’m glad you think so!” She walked back over next to the oven and cracked it open slightly to check on the cookies. “I think these are about done, I’m gonna take them out in a sec. If you want you can go set up the stuff in the living room! Same way we always used to.”

Veronica shook her head, her thoughts cleared of the Heathers for the time being, and grinning. “Sure thing.”

She slid into the living room and looked around thoroughly for the first time.

The last time they’d had a session, the room had looked much the same, furniture wise anyway. The couch to the left still sat against the wall, the worn old table still in front of it. The chair in the corner next to the couch remained, facing slightly away from the door. Veronica made a mental note to move it. Another armchair sat on the right side of the table, and several folding chairs leaned against the far wall, presumably brought up by Martha for anyone who didn’t want to sit on the floor and wasn’t fast enough to grab an armchair. The whole setup was on the left side of the room, opposite several shelves around a fireplace that was rarely used but lent a somewhat old-fashioned atmosphere to the room. 

Veronica walked up to the table and ran her fingers along the surface. It ran slightly askew, but it never shaked. She had defeated the Lich King of M’Velion at this table, with Betty’s help. And she and Duke had climbed the mountains of Frost to use the highest entrance of the Silthrim Tombs, sitting right over there. 

Her fingers brushed a deep gouge in the table, and she started before chuckling. Heather Duke had once been so infuriated at the loss of her items in the Tomb of Horrors that she’d stabbed a butter knife into the surface. They’d laughed about it at the time, and Martha’s parents hadn’t done more than sigh in amusement when they noticed. That quest hadn’t been the pinnacle of success, but it had its highlights.

She returned to the present with a shake of the her head and stood up straight, glancing around to see what needed moving. 

_ That couch is good, the Heathers can sit there and keep all the misery right in one spot,  _  she thought in satisfaction, electing not to move it. She walked over to the chairs and dragged them next to the table, close enough to comfortably move dice around. The folding chairs went to the side, just in case. Martha’s DM screen was set up in front of the most comfortable chair- DM’s privilege, of course. Veronica deposited her things on the table, and then as an afterthought took a heap of blankets and pillows from the couch and haphazardly threw them around the chairs and the floor. After all, no good DnD session is ever carried out in an organized manner. Best start off on the right foot.

She heard Martha shuffling into the room from the other side, and looked up to see her carrying a pan of cookies and an extra pair of oven mitts to set it on.

“I’ll just set this to the side here, so people can take them whenever,” she explained, setting the pan on the oven mitts on the armrest of the couch. She stood up and looked at the setup. “Reminds you of the old days, doesn’t it?”

Veronica snorted. “The old days of eighth grade, yeah. Really nostalgic times.”

Martha made a pouty face. “Oh come on, it was fun. And better than now, anyway.”

“You’ve got me there.”

Martha walked over to a shelf and grabbed down a large notebook and a die bag. As she returned to the table and began arranging her setup, the doorbell rang. The two friends glanced at each other, then at the door. After a second Veronica shook off the brief hint of nervousness that had been threatening to descend on her mind and strode to the door. She wiped her hand off on her shirt-  _ It’s hot in the kitchen, I’m not nervous, no fucking way-  _ before turning the handle and opening the door.

As expected, the Heathers stood there on the doorstep. Characteristically, Chandler was doing her best to maintain an aloof sneer as she peered into the house past Veronica, Duke was trying and failing to look as though she didn’t have a care in the world, and McNamara was openly shivering and looking enviously in at the warm interior of the house.

“You’re here, then,” Veronica stated nonchalantly.

“Of course we’re fucking here, it’s the right damn house isn’t it?” Heather Chandler responded, rolling her eyes. She glanced inside. “....And let us in, it’s fucking freezing out here.”

Veronica shrugged and stepped back with a sardonic “be our guest” gesture. The Heathers hurried inside, shooting grateful glances at her (well, two of them anyway). 

Chandler, having never been in the house, immediately looked around, sneer still on her face. “Could you have picked a smaller place? I almost thought I walked into my closet for a second, but my closet has better decor.”

Duke, who by contrast was hanging up her coat as if she’d been here yesterday, rolled her eyes. “Please Heather, you spend all your time at home locked in your bedroom and this house is sure as hell bigger than that, you’ll live.”

“Shut up Heather.”

“Sorry, Heather….” Duke made a mocking impression of Chandler to McNamara while her back was turned. Chandler certainly noticed but declined to comment. Mac giggled quietly, before looking up and around at the house happily.

“This place seems cozy,” she said, bounding into the living room. “I didn’t really remember it, I only came a couple times,” she explained when Veronica opened her mouth to respond. 

“Yeah, it can be,” Duke responded, following her. “You’re probably too used to that cavern you call a bedroom, I’m surprised it doesn’t have its own weather system.”

Mac giggled and swatted Duke’s arm. Chandler rolled her eyes and stayed silent for the moment.

At that moment, Martha walked in from the other room. “Oh, hey girls! Glad you’re on time!” She said, smiling at them.

Mac gave a friendly wave, and Duke simply responded “Hey, Martha.”

Chandler walked into the living room. “So we’re setting up in here?”

Martha nodded. “My chair’s there, I was thinking you guys could take the couch if you want?”

Chandler shrugged. “No difference to me.” She set down her (unsurprisingly) scarlet handbag and slid over to the side of the couch, in a decidedly inelegant manner, before taking out her stuff and beginning to lay the character sheets on the table. Duke and Mac stared at her.

“What?” She asked defensively. “Faster we get started, the faster we can leave.”

Duke shrugged. “Whatever logic works for you.” She scooted in next to Chandler, leaning back against the couch as she rummaged through her bag. Mac slid in next to them, the space slightly cramped but manageable.

“Well, we can’t start yet, Betty’s not here,” Martha piped up. Veronica nodded and glanced out the window. It had begun snowing, though not heavily, and the glass was frosted around the edges.

Chandler looked up. “What, did she not get the fucking memo?”

“We’re early though aren’t we?” Mac asked, taking out a dice bag. 

“Well, yeah, but still.”

Martha sat down and began to lay out several papers. The group couldn’t see what she was doing, by design of course. “She should be here soon, the weather’s not great,” she remarked, at the same time Veronica said “The weather doesn’t bow to everyone’s whims, Heather.”

Chandler ignored the comments, instead glancing to the side, appearing to notice the cookies for the first time. “What are these?”

“Well, my eyesight might be going, but they look like cookies to me,” Duke said, not looking up.

Chandler scowled. “I can see that, why are they here?”

“Since you asked so politely, Martha made them for you guys. She thought they might make you feel more ‘at home’ or whatever. I told her it was a bad idea, but fortunately for you guys she’s too nice to listen,” Veronica responded from a folding chair (though it was barely visible under a stack of pillows and blankets which gave the chair the appearance of a small hill). She was periodically glancing uncertainly across the table, betraying the confidence in her tone.

“Oh, Martha, you still bake?” Duke asked curiously.

Martha opened her mouth to respond but Mac eagerly jumped in. “Yeah! She was telling me about it the other day, apparently she’s really good at it! She entered all these competitions and stuff-” She glanced over at Martha and realized she’d interrupted. “Sorry, you go.”

Martha chuckled. “No it’s okay. I don’t really think I’m that good though, I’ve never won anything.”

Chandler muttered something inaudible before shutting her mouth rapidly.

“What?” Duke asked, noticing.

“Nothing.”

Martha looked over at her. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you?”

Chandler gritted her teeth. “I  _ said _ , to have entered a competition, you must be at least decent or else stupidly overconfident.”

Martha paused uncertainly. “Thank you….?” She looked at Heather a moment longer before returning to her notebook. “Feel free to try some, though!”

Chandler snatched her hand away from the tray and went back to staring at her character sheets as if she was trying to incinerate them with her eyes.

Suddenly, there was the sound of the door opening, and a rushing noise as cold air spilled into the room. It slammed shut again moments later, leaving several snowflakes swirling in the air before vanishing in the heat of the room. After a moment of shuffling noises in the mudroom, Betty walked into the room, shrugging off her coat. Her gaze immediately went to the couch.

There was a somewhat hostile pause. Then, as if determined to seem indifferent to everything that was happening, Betty deliberately walked over to the remaining chair and sat down, adjusting her glasses and glancing at Veronica and Martha briefly before taking out her stuff and beginning to set up. Veronica rolled her eyes.

“Hi Betty,” she said cautiously.

“Hey,” Betty looked up, with a slightly forced smile.  _ It’s a start,  _ Veronica thought.

Martha spoke up a second later. “I think I’m about ready, you guys?”

Duke nodded. “I’m looking forward to it, to be honest. Ready.”

Mac smiled and nodded, glancing at Duke. “Yup, same.”

“Yeah, go for it,” Veronica piped up.

Betty shrugged. “I’m good to go.”

There was a muffled noise and everyone stared over in the direction of Chandler, who was currently sitting partially sideways with her mouth stuffed full of cookies. There was an awkward pause, and Betty let out an involuntary snort before immediately resuming her nonchalant expression. Chandler glared at them all before swallowing rapidly.

“Fuck all of you, these are good.”

Veronica shook her head in bemusement as the remaining Heathers giggled quietly, and Martha pushed up her glasses. “Right, let’s get to work then!”

  
  
  
  


**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 6:03 PM _

 

_ V-Soysauce has joined _

_ Scarlet-Bitch has joined _

_ berryFinn has joined _

_ Macncheese has joined _

 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** the hell is this

**V-Soysauce:** what she Said, we’re Literally sitting Across From Each Other

**Duche:** Okay so remember that note Martha passed me like an hour ago

**Macncheese:** hi!

**berryFinn:** yeah?

**V-Soysauce:** hi

**Duche:** One of the things it said was we’d need a chat or something to talk amongst ourselves at some point and to start it around 6

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh

**Macncheese:** why would we need a private chat though?

**V-Soysauce:** Martha knows What’s Up we’re getting Stares

**Duche:** That’s fine it was her idea

**Duche:** And Heather sometimes you want to be able to plan without the DM’s notice, like for puzzles and stuff

**berryFinn:** Martha’s also not good with her poker faces when she gets excited so she might want to not be able to react to our planning

**V-Soysauce:** ^

**Macncheese:** okay so we’re in a dark forest right now

**Macncheese:** is there gonna be a dungeon or something?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what are dungeons like?

**Duche:** Well fuck now we have to say everything here or we’ll be found out

**berryFinn:** sfine I didn’t take typing classes for nothing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** those are for pc dumbass

**berryFinn:** don’t you reprimand me, sorcerer who got us in a bar fight

**Scarlet-Bitch:** KDfkkdfSDK that was a fucking accident

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we just asked for the map we didn’t know there had been all those disappearances and shit

**Duche:** Yeah but you didn’t have to try to threaten the damn half orc about it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** threatening people works in real life you know

**berryFinn:** the town had a no-magic ban….

**Macncheese:** what’s your strength again Heather?

**V-Soysauce:** 8.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** IVE ENVER dOEN THIs BEFORE ASSHOLES

**Duche:** That many typos, you must be having fun

**Scarlet-Bitch:** *middle finger emoji*

**berryFinn:** did you really just type that out

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh fuck off

**Macncheese:** uh guys pay attention

**berryFinn:** what why

**V-Soysauce:** ??

**V-Soysauce:** ….

**Duche:** JESUS

**Macncheese:** wow that’s cool!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what even the hell is that

**berryFinn:** drawing of a dungeon

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I know that dumbass 

**Duche:** okay so that’s what we see above the forest IC

**V-Soysauce:** that is the Tallest Tower dungeon I have Ever Fucking Seen

**Scarlet-Bitch:** terrible art though

**berryFinn:** oh as if you could do better

**Macncheese:** she’s not that bad actually!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** nevermind shut up Mac

**berryFinn:** ?

**Duche:** Guys if you don’t remember the description of this dungeon from the outside I’m not telling you it

**Macncheese:** oh sorry 

**Macncheese:** thanks

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what happened?

**V-Soysauce:** she passed the paper to her pay attention

**berryFinn:** I nend that too Im’ trying to sektch them drwaing rgiht now

**Duch:** lol So I see

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you can’t use abbreviations and be stuck up about capitalization make up your midn

**Duche:** twyt

**V-soysauce:** That’s What You Think isn’t even a thing

**Macncheese:** I mean you knew what it meant though

**V-Soysauce:** hmm fair

**Duche:** Okay I got it down

**berryFinn:** make sure you remember which direction the spires go it’ll help us get less lost and Martha likes to be specific with her drawings

**berryFinn:** she says illustration adds to the illusion of the game or something

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sounds like bullshit but if it helps us not die I’m all for it

**berryFinn:** mhm

**Duche:** mhm

**Macncheese:** okay we’re going in now right?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah, this is where the Map Maker told us He’d been Losing People

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ve never done this what are dungeons like?

**berryFinn:** well

**berryFinn:** there are a lot of kinds

**Duche:** Depends really

**berryFinn:** yeah some are big sprawling mazes full of puzzle rooms, where each one’s different

**berryFinn:** that’s what all the old ones used to be

**Duche:** Like Tomb of Horrors

**V-Soysauce:** we do not Speak that Quest Name here

**Duche:** Understandable my apologies

**berryFinn:** so some are just puzzles and them some have a lot of enemies in them too

**berryFinn:** like bosses and minbosses and lots of loot and stuff

**Duche:** Those tend to be more like video game dungeons, and they have more valuables usually

**berryFinn:** usually you want to be really careful, but Martha doesn’t tend to do that many traps

**berryFinn:** she thinks they’re cheap and lazy

**V-Soysauce:** don’t tell her we said that though lol she doesn’t want to sound rude

**Scarlet-Bitch:** so will we be fighting a lot or not?

**Duche:** Sounds like probably a decent amount but not overly much

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait where’s Mac?

**Macncheese:** looking for my dice unfder the tabel

**Scarlet-Bitch:** why didn’t you just respond out loud

**Macncheese:** I’m trying to keep a low profile!

**V-Soysauce:** I don’t think that Phrase is meant to be Applied Literally…

**Duche:** lol You don’t need to not talk out loud at all

**Macncheese:** oh

**berryFinn:** okay everyone good we’re going in

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yes

**V-Soysauce:** yup

**Duche:** Yeah

 

**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 7:05 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you idiots have any ideas because I’m stuck

**V-Soysauce:** same We’ve been in This Room for fifty Minutes now

**berryFinn:** so none of the stuff we have works as keys….

**Duche:** Yeah, and none of our spells activate the door

**Macncheese:** we should probably be looking at the buttons around the door more

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well yeah but none of us can read the damn writing

**V-Soysauce:** could we just like Climb out of The Window and around This Part of The Tower?

**Duche:** I doubt it, outside’s probably blocked or trapped

**berryFinn:** lol too bad this isn’t irl

**Macncheese:** why?

**berryFinn:** you know with Veronica and all

**Duche:** What do you mean?

**V-Soysauce:** BEtty wE TALKED ABOUT tHIS

**berryFinn:** wait you guys don’t remember Veronica’s parkour phase

**V-Soysauce:** SHHhh

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ...what

**Macncheese:** WHAT

**Duche:** WHEN WAS THAT??

**berryFinn:** a couple years ago and now kind of

**V-Soysauce:** Finn you will be the Death Of Me

**berryFinn:** I THOUGHT THEy KNEW ALREADY

**Scarlet-Bitch:** further details please

**V-soysauce:** this isn’t Really the Time

**Duche:** Still though

**berryFinn:** nah she’s right we need to get out of this room or we’re going to run short on time

**Macncheese:** If the door didn’t lock behind us….

**Duche:** Yeah I would’ve wanted that inscription on the wall earlier, probably talks about this fucking room

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what do you think this wall is made of

**berryFinn:** idk, just metal and wood I think

**Macncheese:** doesn’t really matter, none of us have the strength to break through steel and stuff

**V-Soysauce:** wait, doesn’t Heather have a Bunch of Alchemist’s Fire

**Scarlet-Bitch:** YUP

**Duche:** That’s not strong enough to blow through the walls you know

**berryFinn:** plus you’d kill all of us

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah but it could probably melt the steel

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and I have shield spells and stuff

**Macncheese:** that could work actually couldn’t it?

**V-Soysauce:** I mean, technically

**Duche:** I mean…. There are worse ideas

**berryFinn:** yeah but let’s give this room like ten more minutes 

**Macncheese:** and get back to the game Martha’s staring at us weirdly….

 

**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 7:22 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay that’s fucking it here we go

**Duche:** How are we gonna do this?

**Macncheese:** I can get through the first layer of the wall

**berryFinn:** that’s good, smash a hole in it so we can get to the metal

**V-Soysauce:** we need to be at the Other Side of the Room

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hold on here we go, shield ready

 

**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 7:28 PM _

**Macncheese:** uh guys

 

**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 7:33 PM _

**berryFinn:** did any of you idiots have a plan for putting this fire OUT

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WELL IM SORrY at LEAST WERE NOT STUCK NOW

**V-Soysauce:** yeaH BECause tHe BUILDING is ON FIRE

**Duche:** STOP YELLING AND DOUBLE BACK THERES AN EXIT SIX LEVELS DOWN

**Macncheese:** does anyone have water spells

**Scarlet-Bitch:** YeS THATS WHY THE DUNGEON’S ON FIRE

**Macncheese:** IM sORrY I WAS JUST ASKING

**V-Soysauce:** wasn’t that exit One-Way, tht’s why we needed the key from the top

**Duche:** ….fuck

**Scarlet-Bitch.** Fuck

**berryFinn:** BACK UP WE GO

 

**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 7:48 PM _

**V-Soysauce:** you have to Admit the Tiles being Slowly Removed gives this a sense of Desparation

**berryFinn:** NOT MY PRIMARY CONCERN RIGHT NOW

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHAT SHE SAID

**Macncheese:** aww you two agree on something!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** SHUT UP AND BREAK THAT WALL

**berryFinn:** WHA SHE SAID

**berryFinn:** fuck

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK

**V-Soysauce:** LOL

**Macncheese:** guys what if we use the supports in the center of the tower like a firepole or something

**Duche:** That’s actually not a terrible idea but they’re blocked off at this point I think 

**berryFinn:** well then just run down the stairs as fast as possible they’re right behind us

**berryFinn:** NEVERMIND

**Scarlet-Bitch:** STAIRS YOU SAID

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHAT FUCKING STAIRS

**V-Soysauce:** WHO BUILDS A TOWER DUNGEON Out OF WOOD

**Duche:** I mean, the druid sect we’re chasing that took over this forest

**V-Soysauce:** RHEToricAL QUESTION DOUCHE

**Macncheese:** guys head up! only way to go

**Scarlet-Bitch:** if we all die I’m blaming someone else

**berryFinn:** Martha’s still laughing

  
  


**DnD Player Chat**

_ November 18, 8:01 PM _

**Macncheese:** GUYS I FOuND SOMETHING

**V-Soysauce:** how the Fuck can You See through this crap

**Scarlet-Bitch:** her con’s like 19 she’s fine

**berryFinn:** must be nice to not have smoke inhalation debuffs….

**berryFinn:** more importantly WHAT IS IT

**Duche:** Fat lot of good if it’s a treasure room, we’re not getting out of this alive

**Macncheese:** SO THERES a big room up here with some sort of mecahnical stuff on the floor in the middle and there’s inscriptions all up the walls and floor and stuff

**Macncheese:** there’s a lever in the middle

**Duche:** Sounds like a boss summoning room?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah or at Least Something Important with the Druids

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait aren’t the druids plant fuckers or whatever isn’t it weird for them to have tech

_ berryFinn has renamed the chat group “Plant Fuckers Anonymous” _

**Macncheese:** LOL

**Scarlet-Bitch:** asshole

**V-Soysauce:** pfft

**Duche:** *thumbs up emote*

**Macncheese:** are you making fun of me

**Duche:** Nah you have a point

**Duche:** It’s odd but we don’t have a ton of other options?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah hit the Damn Lever

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I guess I can’t complain if you kill us all

 

**Plant Fuckers Anonymous**

_ November 18, 8:10 PM _

**Macncheese:** A LITTLE HELP HERE

**Scarlet-Bitch:** IM TRYING TO GET IN THE DOORS LOCKED

**Macncheese:** DRAGONS ARE SCARY

**V-Soysauce:** come around Idiot, Half the Floor’s gone

**berryFinn:** I hate this I’m useless in this situation

**Duche:** Gotta love level 1….

**Duche:** fuck missed again

**berryFinn:** #burnthedice

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you have some in the game, just throw them in literally any direction

**berryFinn:** no bitch weighted dice are expensive

**V-Soysauce:** fuck The Tower’s Shaking again

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK

**Macncheese:** got a good hit off!

**Duche:** Is it almost down

**Macncheese:** I think so!

**berryFinn:** this is ridiculous look where I am

**V-Soysauce:** wait are you The One balanced 50 Feet Up on the roof

**berryFinn:** YES

**Scarlet-Bitch:** PFFT HOW the fuck did you get up there

**berryFinn:** I stayed behind in that one room remember and the door you guys went through collapsed this was the only not on fire place

**Duche:** Fair

**Macncheese:** tHIS TOWER IS MOVING AGAIN

**Scarlet-Bitch:** THIS GAME IS STRESSFUL

**V-Soysauce:** out of Spell Slots….

**berryFinn:** great now what do we do

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hold on

**Macncheese:** ??

**Duche:** What?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** how much rope do you have

**berryFinn:** a shit ton

**V-Soysauce:** ^

**Duche:** Decent amount, we were going in a tower after all

**Scarlet-Bitch:** give it to Heather and follow me

**Macncheese:** if this is going where I think it is

**berryFinn:** which Heather???!

**Duche:** Mac, duh

**V-Soyauce:** I will Never Understand how you guys do that….

 

**Plant Fuckers Anonymous**

_ November 18, 8:12 _

**V-Soysauce:** tower’s going Down, Any Ideas

**Macncheese:** we almost got the boss down though!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay that’s good

**Duche:** So much for getting paid….

**berryFinn:** yeah if we were going to live I’d take this dragon’s teeth and shove them up that mapmaker’s ass

**Scarlet-Bitch:** as fun as that would be….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** TOWER’S FALLING

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FOLLOW ME

**Duche:** EVERYONE HAS DEBUFFS BUT I’LL TRY

**V-Soysauce:** ^^^

**berryFinn:** why should I trust that HOLY FUCK I’M COMING

**Macncheese:** DRAGONS WINGS ArE MOSTLy GONE

**Scarlet-Bitch:** HERE WE GO

 

_ And as the tower rumbles beneath them and the sparking floorboards finally begin to crack and fall away beneath their feet, the party held on to the rope precariously wrapped around the dying dragon and leaped off the side. Smoke plumed behind them, and after a moment they had all managed to climb on top of the dragon as they spiraled to the ground. Behind them, the tower collapsed inward in an deafening crash and smoke and sparks shot hundreds of feet into the air. Debris fell around the falling party, narrowly missing as the dragon struggled to right itself, unable to fly with the added weight. After a somewhat wordy description by Martha, there was an enormous crash as the plummeting mass broke the tree layer and the dragon smashed into the ground. As the only sound became the cracking of wood falling in the distance, the smoke slowly cleared and the dragon was revealed, dead, with the party standing atop it and Heather McNamara’s axe buried in its head. _

 

_ There was a silence around the table. _

 

_ Then, suddenly, Heather Chandler began to laugh nervously. _

_ The others joined in, the sound becoming more happy than nervous. With cries of WE DID IT and IT WORKED, the group forgot their mutual hatred momentarily and basked in the glory that only comes from a plan that absolutely should not work under any circumstances having worked perfectly. After what seemed like hours, the party came to their senses, and Chandler grinned, her disdain for the game forgotten as she motioned the others quiet.  _

_ Betty, Veronica, Martha, Duke, and McNamara waited with baited breath for what she would have to say. _

 

“Well, we’re not quitting now are we? Let’s get the fuck out of this and get the fuck to work!”

  
  
  


****  
  



	4. The Somewhat Literal Dark Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems everyone enjoyed the events of Saturday night, to the surprise of exactly one person. Now, the author must find a way to fill up the events of Sunday, as Betty's mysterious cousin is set to arrive Sunday night. How will this affect the Westerberg Hierarchy? How will Veronica feel about it (not that you get the answer to that in this)? And how much of an idiot can Chandler be through the whole damn thing? You'll have to RAFO..... (tm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL FUCK I posted this for the first time, but then I realized there were a ton of loose ends so I deleted it with the intent of adding a couple extra scenes in, and then I realized it ends right in the middle of a scene and I can just add them at the beginning of chapter 5, and now I have to retYPE THE NOTES DKFDSDK-  
> Anyway, this chapter ran much longer than I expected. Didn't even get through two days. Ah well.  
> There's a very dumb mistake with the references that I expect everyone to see, but I'm not fixing it.  
> Also! There's a ship I decided to push in this because I think I might be able to make it work and it's very underdone. By "make it work" I do not mean the writing will be any good because of course it won't, so don't expect subtlety I guess.... as such the ship is pretty damn obvious. There are some other ideas I have but they're not in quite yet....  
> This story is progressively being less focused on DnD. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It will always be a factor but the amount of plot and writing between sessions is exponentially increasing. I'm sorry about that but I can't really change it....  
> Anyway, commenters as always are my favowite persons, so please do that if you can! Enjoy, if possible :)

**Heather Set A Fire And She...**

_ November 19, 10:35 AM _

**Macncheese:** is that a be more chill reference…?

**Duche:** FUCK it doesn’t fit 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait what which chat even is this

**Duche:** Ours

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what do we rename it every fucking day now

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and why the fuck are you up so early

**Macncheese:** ...It’s 10:30?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wht the hell

**Duche:** When did you go to bed…?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NOT THAT LATE FucK YOU

**Macncheese:** lol it can’t’ve been early we were at Martha’s till like 11

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I forgot to make sure no one saw us on the way back

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck

**Macncheese:** calm down lol no one’s out that late when there’s not a party

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no one who knows what be more chill is is allowed to have an opinion on this

**Duche:** Excuse me that’s a good show

**Scarlet-Bitch:** mhm

**Duche:** Hey, do you remember what homework we had this weekend

**Macncheese:** shit no

**Scarlet-Bitch:** lol nope

**Duche:** Goddammit I think that essay for Fleming is due tomorrow

**Macncheese:** oh the psychology one or whatever? 

**Duche:** Yeah….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m so glad I’m not in that class

**Macncheese:** same…. creative writing and stuff is fun but she does all analysis writing and stuff

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hate that bitch

**Scarlet-Bitch:** CANT A GIRL WALK IN THE HALLWAYS IN PEACE

**Macncheese:** mood

**Duche:** Wait so neithr of you are in my english class?

**Macncheese:** sorry no :( and I have to do the thing I ditched on friday

**Scarlet-Bitch:** nope I have jackson

**Scarlet-Bitch:** just threaten someone or something to help you

**Macncheese:** how can you threaten something to help you

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh fuck you you know what I mean

**Duche:** I’m terrible at that though, and no one I know is in that damn class….

**Macncheese:** I mean not no one

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….

**Duche:** What?

**Duche:** Oh no

**Macncheese:** lol

**Duche:** Not a good idea

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean,,,,,

**Duche:** >,,,,,

**Scarlet-Bitch:** there are worse people to go to and fuck you I typed it wrong

**Duche:** ….

**Duche:** I guess…. Worth a shot

**Duche:** sigh

**Duche:** Later though, I want to enjoy my morning

**Scarlet-Bitch:** are you STILL reading that series

**Duche:** IT’S GOOD OKAY not my fault this has 14 fucking books

**Macncheese:** If reading was a sport 

**Duche:** lol I’d have one athletic thing to my name then

**Scarlet-Bitch:** uh oh

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuckfuckfuckfuck

**Macncheese:** what?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** parents are back early

**Duche:** What? 

**Duche:** From what

**Macncheese:** oh shit I thought they weren’t gonna be back till like 12

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I got out of visiting my grandmother again but my parents are back before they were supposed to be

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah around then

**Duche:** Oh fuck right

**Duche:** Are you guys still fighting?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WERE ALWAYS FIGHTING HEATHER

**Scarlet-Bitch:** YOU TRY NOT FIGHTING THOSE ASSHOLES

**Duche:** SORRY

**Scarlet-Bitch:** its okay just panicking a bit I wanted to be out of the house by now

**Macncheese:** are you gonna be okay?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah I’ll be fine they never do more than yell I guess….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** the whole thing just gets old though

**Duche:** Are they still hung up on the artist thing?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** please don’t mention that….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ...but yeah

**Duche:** I’m really sorry I can’t do anything? My parents are okay right now but they talk to yours

**Duche:** And your parents don’t like me that much….

**Macncheese:** wait can you get out of the house?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean yeah but I have nowhere to go, your house is too far to walk and not get noticed

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck my name’s being called

**Macncheese:** I can get there in ten minutes!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….heather you don’t have a driver’s liscense

**Macncheese:** so??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….

**Macncheese:** I’ve driven Heather’s jeep a bunch of times!

**Duche:** I mean, she has a point

**Duche:** She’s better than you anyway

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NOT THE TIME

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and no way your parents talk to mine too and besides you can’t drive 

**Macncheese:** bitch watch me

**Macncheese:** and my parents are out this weekend on that conference in boston remember?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh right

**Duche:** Wait weren’t yours going to that??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no they fucking cancelled last minute because they couldn’t get the right flight, stuck up assholes

**Duche:** Oh

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….

**Macncheese:** Heather I’m coming over whether you want me to or not

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fINE TIME TO MOVE

**Duche:** Good luck!

**Duche:** Heather?

**Macncheese:** she’s moving I guess 

**Macncheese:** I gotta go bye

**Duche:** Bye and good luck

 

_ Heather Chandler, who had been pacing around the room as quietly as possible moments prior, pocketed her phone and dashed over to her desk, where she grabbed a piece of paper. She thought for a moment before hastily scribbling a message on it saying she’d gone to the mall with a friend, and smoothed it out on the desk. She glanced around the room before walking out the door and inelegantly speed-walking down the hallway, turning right at the end onto a little-used staircase. Dodging the stairs she knew to creak from prior experience, and pausing at the bottom to listen to see if anyone was in the little-used side hallway, she slowly opened the back door of the house before dashing into the yard. She began to quickly walk down the sidewalk, shivering and regretting her decision to not grab a coat. She elected to walk in the direction of McNamara’s house, to save time and to spend as little time as possible in the biting November air. _

 

**Meanwhile….**

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 19, 10:43 AM _

**Marsha:** Jesus I’m tired

**berryFinn:** why? we ended at like 11

**Marsha:** That’s late!

**V-Soysauce:** oh Martha you Innocent Thing

**Marsha:** Mhm

**Marsha:** What are you girls doing today?

**V-Soysauce:** well I Finished that Essay and I’m feeling Lazy so I’ll go out on a limb and say Absolutely Nothing

**berryFinn:** what she said but in less words.

**V-Soysauce:** more Importantly

**V-Soysauce:** how about Last Night

**berryFinn:** was gonna talk about that last night but I forgot when I was homeworking

**Marsha:** Good excuse

**Marsha:** I thought it went well!

**berryFinn:** well yeah but we’re going in depth analysis here

**V-Soysauce:** that’s the Spirit

**berryFinn:** first off what the fuck happens to chandler when she’s tired

**V-Soysauce:** I have No Idea?

**V-Soysauce:** it’s like she Reverts to how She Was 4 years ago

**berryFinn:** guess she enjoyed it then

**V-Soysauce:** yeah, if You’re Willing to Admit she was Fun she must’ve been

**berryFinn:** oh fuck off I still don’t like her

**Marsha:** I have to admit you guys tested my improv skills

**Marsha:** Like, right off the bat

**berryFinn:** omg I’m still laughing at that bar fight

**V-Soysauce:** I KNOW RIGHT

**V-Soysauce:** did you see Chandler’s Face when she Realized she was Outmatched

**berryFinn:** fuck that did you see Duke’s she looked like she was going to either strangle her or die laughing

**V-Soysauce:** if I could I’d Post the Both Gif

**V-Soysauce:** someone Remind Me why we Use This App

**Marsha:** TRAdiTION

**V-Soysauce:** right

**berryFinn:** also McNamara as a barbarian

**berryFinn:** is my new favorite mood

**V-Soysauce:** OMFG

**V-Soysauce:** that Voice was Hilarious

**berryFinn:** wait that’s not her normal voice?

**V-Soysauce:** LOL NO

**berryFinn:** I’m joking I knew that

**Marsha:** She was really good at RPing too! I didn’t realize she would be, she didn’t usually come when we used to play

**V-Soysauce:** I know Right? and she Wrote out that Backstory too

**berryFinn:** see I’m not the only one who can competently write backstory Veronica

**V-Soysauce:** shhh

**V-Soysauce:** and by the Way, they Didn’t have Trombones in the Middle Ages

**berryFinn:** BARDIC inStruMENts ARE NOT SPECIFIED

**Marsha:** I kind of suspected you would do that ever since you did bagpipes last time….

**V-Soysauce:** although I Admit Watching Chandler trying not to Stab You was fun

**berryFinn:** I know right did you catch the eye twitches

**V-Soysauce:** LOL YEAH

**berryFinn:** also that dungeon 

**berryFinn:** has to be the best dungeon crawl I have ever experienced

**V-Soysauce:** I mean it Was Short as Fuck and we didn’t really Do it Right but agreed

**Marsha:** I have to admit that was awesome

**Marsha:** I outline a lot and that was not on my list

**V-Soysauce:** honestly tho Good Job on Improv Martha

**berryFinn:** ^^^ we could tell you just made the last three hours up and it worked really well

**Marsha:** aww Thanks! Yeah I kinda had to go offscript when you burned down the dungeon with all the items in it, but you killed the boss so technically you did what the mapmaker asked, but then you couldn’t progress so I had to make up that cursed section of the swamp and the whole thing was just a mess

**V-Soysauce:** yeah we Know, you Did Great

**berryFinn:** yeah, it played like a prewritten story the whole time :)

**berryFinn:** and I will admit I hate chandler slightly less now that was an awesome plan

**V-Soysauce:** agreed

**Marsha:** Agreed

**Marsha:** Think they’ll want to schedule another session sometime?

**berryFinn:** THEY BETTER WE’RE NOT FINISHING THIS QuEST WITH TWO PEOPLE

**V-Soysauce:** WHAT SHE SAID

**V-Soysauce:** but on a More Serious Note I think so? they seemed to be Having Fun

**berryFinn:** yeah, I’d be surprised if they hard nod another session

**berryFinn:** fuck that’s not how you spell noed

**berryFinn:** FUCK

**berryFinn:** no’d

**V-Soysauce:** lol Nailed It

**V-Soysauce:** we can Ask them Later, I’m busy

**Marsha:** Sounds good! But me too I have a project that needs work

**berryFinn:** I’m just sitting around but if y’all say so

**Marsha:** lol, Bye then

**V-Soysauce:** byee

**berryFinn:** <o/

 

**Macncheese + Scarlet-Bitch**

_ November 19, 10:46 _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WH ERE THE FUC K ARE YUO

**Macncheese:** IM REALLY SORRY THE ROAD WAS BLOCKED

**Macncheese:** ALMOST THERE SORRY

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sorry I g ueess it’s j sut really col d

**Scarlet-Bitch:** starte snowing ttoo right aft r I left

**Macncheese:** I know it’s fucking awful I could barely start the car….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you re tellingm e

**Macncheese:** do you really want to avoid your parents that much…?

**Macncheese:** sorry I shouldn’tve asked sorry

**Scarlet-Bitch:** it s okay….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** adn yes

**Scarlet-Bitch:** everyt ime i Talk to them its the same  fuckin thign

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ‘heather wh ya rent you doing wel l in school’

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ‘heather your a isappoinemen t to your g randmothe’

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ‘heathe i fyou dont get inshap were shipin you to boar ing schoolso we dont ha ve to dealw ith you embarass ng our famly’

**Macncheese:** you’re getting really hard to read do you have gloves on?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** o f coursen ot theywere do wnstairs

**Macncheese:** wait heather what the fuck are you wearing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NO T ENOUG

**Macncheese:** WAIT I’m on the right road jesus you walked fast

**Macncheese:** hold on I’ll pull over

 

_ The morning had started off bright in Sherwood Ohio, but as the motes and swirls of snow ran through the air at increasing speed it looked as though the town might be in for one of the first big storms of the season, and the sky was darkening ominously to match. This would perhaps not be a problem for some; after all, what does one want more on a wintery Sunday morning but an excuse to stay inside? But for a disgruntled and ever more shivering Heather Chandler walking as fast as she could under the gathering clouds in what essentially amounted to a nightgown and heels, the situation probably wasn’t as merry. _

_ Fortunately, moments after she began to wonder if maybe facing her family again wasn’t the worst option here, a dull yellow car (a Tesla or whatever if Heather remembered correctly, McNamara’s family was rich enough to afford a fancy car for their daughter who couldn’t even drive by herself yet) pulled around the curb and somewhat clumsily came to a stop alongside the sidewalk. Giving a huff of relief, Chandler walked quickly to the car and climbed in. _

 

“Why the  _ fuck _ are you walking outside in November in basically a nightgown?”

McNamara glanced back from the front seat, annoyed. Chandler rolled her eyes, rubbing her arms and still shivering slightly.

“It wasn’t fucking snowing when I left. And I couldn’t exactly walk out the front door.”

Mac frowned. “Don’t you have jackets in your closet?”

Chandler winced, because yes, she did. “I was moving quickly, and yeah, that was dumb.”

“Well, you’re fine now at least….” Mac said, going back to focusing on the road. Chandler huffed again but didn’t respond, color returning to her face. The car sped across town, taking a detour from the normal route, heading towards McNamara’s huge house.

  
  
  


**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 19, 11:24 AM _

**Duche:** What happened? Are you guys alright?

**Macncheese:** shit we’ve been using the wrong chat

**Scarlet-Bitch:** right

**Macncheese:** we’re good!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah no worries

**Macncheese:** Heather tried to get frostbite but I stopped her

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh fuck off

**Duche:** OK I guess…. So are you at Mac’s?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah I’ll probably just hide out here today

**Macncheese:** ooh you should check out the craft ideas I have

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….we’ll see

**Duche:** You two are good then

**Duche:** Dammit what do I do today

**Scarlet-Bitch:** unless you want to be swamped with Mac’s weird crafts obsession than I advise not being here

**Macncheese:** hey :(

**Duche:** Great

**Macncheese:** you needed help on that essay didn’t you?

**Duche:** ….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** it is technically later

**Scarlet-Bitch:** good a time as any 

**Duche:** Why are  _ you  _ trying to convince me to call her

**Duche:** You’ve been telling us “never talk to the losers” for the past year and a half now

**Scarlet-Bitch:** why are YOU text marking on mobile

**Duche:** Way to dodge the question bitch

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fucking

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’d prefer that none of us were failing classes thank you

**Duche:** Please that’s not a risk

**Scarlet-Bitch:** still.

**Duche:** FINE

**Macncheese:** have fun! :)

**Duche:** Oh please

 

**Duche + V-Soysauce**

_ November 19, 11:40 AM _

**Duche:** Hello….

**V-Soysauce:** what the Hell

**V-Soysauce:** oh hi

**V-Soysauce:** forgot I Had This Chat lol

**Duche:** mhm It’s been a while

**V-Soysauce:** mHm

**V-Soysauce:** uh

**V-Soysauce:** what’s up?

**Duche:** Sorry to bother you but

**V-Soysauce:** nah I’m not Doing Anything important right now

**Duche:** You know that essay for Fleming that’s due tomorrow

**V-Soysauce:** ...or at all Today, Actually

**V-Soysauce:** oh that Stupid thing

**V-Soysauce:** I Finished It A Couple Days ago

**Duche:** Oh

**Duche:** Well

**Duche:** I was having trouble with it and I wanted to know if you could help.

**V-Soysauce:** you’re Asking me…?

**V-Soysauce:** let me guess Heather isn’t Aware of This

**Duche:** Actually it was her idea….

**Duche:** I was confused too

**Duche:** No offense

**V-Soysauce:** the hell

**V-Soysauce:** is she Drunk or Something

**V-Soysauce:** also I thought you Were Great at Writing?

**V-Soysauce:** you won that Thing last Year, Didn’t You?

**Duche:** Yeah….

**Duche:** I haven’t been able to focus this week for some reason

**Duche:** I tried to write it for like three fucking hours and only came up with a bunch of filler shit I had to trash

**V-Soysauce:** tbh understandable

**V-Soysauce:** that happens Sometimes? like a couple Months Ago I couldn’t Finish this Bio Paper and I ended up Staying Up all night and Barely getting it Done

**Duche:** ...Do you do that often…?

**V-Soysauce:** not that often

**V-Soysauce:** anyway I’m on a Roll today what Do you Need Help With

**Duche:** On a roll?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah Lol I was trying to Write Backstory earlier and it Turned into a Long Fucking Mess

**Duche:** Do you write much…?

**V-Soysauce:** kinda, I Have a Couple Stories actually but it’s hard to Finish Stuff

**Duche:** Oh….

**Duche:** I wish I could write stories

**Duche:** Getting ideas down is hard….

**V-Soysauce:** mood

**V-Soysauce:** but yeah I have Nothing To Do so I’ll Video Call in a sec hold on

**Duche:** That’s not necessary

**V-Soysauce:** well Yeah But I don’t want to Type an essay On My Phone

**Duche:** Okay…

 

_ Heather Duke, who had been laying on her bed leaning against her pillows, slowly stood up. She glanced around her room; the lights were dim, she preferred them that way sometimes. With the trees in her yard being overgrown enough to spread across the windows, it was fairly dark even in the day. The only inside light at the moment came from two green and blue lava lamps on the sides of her desks; a gift from McNamara years ago. Duke walked over to her desk, absentmindedly straightened her hair with her free hand, and set her phone against her computer monitor. She spend a few moments rifling through a folder on the side of her desk where she kept her school work.She liked outlining things by hand; writing ideas down felt more natural that way. She set her papers decisively in front of her, then paused and started her computer.  _

_ The monitor whirred on quickly.  _ Fucking finally, too,  _ Duke thought; the damn thing had taken long enough to set up. Hardware wasn’t her thing, but she’d been determined to set the system up herself. That’d teach Heather to say she “wasn’t good at anything”. It’d been almost two years and it still worked almost flawlessly.  _ So fucking there _. _

_ She paused as the screen lit up, the background showing a photograph. In it, the three Heathers stood in front of the fountain at the mall, Veronica and Betty at their sides. All of them had enormous grins on their faces; the fountain had just been put up and the mall was having a celebratory sale, so Chandler and Mac had offered to take everyone on a shopping spree. Veronica and Betty had been hesitant to buy much, but they had all ended up with overflowing bags. Martha had been out of town at the time, but this photo was the closest she had to a reminder of how things used to be. Fucking hell, sentimental shit like this was what they were supposed to make fun of the nerds for.  _

_ She finished connecting her phone to the monitor, and leaned back in her gaming chair (which was overpriced as hell, but fuck her if it wasn’t comfortable) as the phone rang and Veronica’s face appeared onscreen. The latter looked up and grinned. _

 

**Veronica:** Hey.

**Duke:** Hi.

**Veronica:** What’s up?

**Duke:** _ raises an eyebrow  _ Same thing that was fifty seconds ago when I texted you.

**Veronica:** _ rolls eyes  _ It’s a socially accepted polite conversation starter, dumbass.

**Duke:** This is why you’re the one with a finished essay….

**Veronica:** Ah, well, we can fix that. Whatcha got so far?

**Duke:** _ takes out her essay notes from the folder, shuffling them in front of her  _ Well, I have enough information I think. I researched stuff through all my study halls so I didn’t have to work on this shit here.

**Veronica:** Yeah, that’s probably better than what I did…. Which is researching half of it after yesterday night and stretching the stuff I had into a full paper.

**Duke:** You’re making me question why I asked you about this….

**Veronica:** _ taps her slightly frazzled hair knowingly  _ Remember, you only have to  _ look  _ like you know what you’re doing. 

**Duke:** _ snorts  _ I should know that of all people. Fair enough.

**Veronica:** Half of essay writing is stretching small amounts of information and then adding a bunch of disguised opinions on to make it seem like you have a lot of things to say when actually you have no idea what you’re talking about.

**Duke:** Should I be taking notes on this, oh master of loopholes?

**Veronica:** Nah. Now, you said you had all the stuff you needed?

**Duke:** Pretty much. The part I was having trouble with…. I guess I couldn’t focus enough to get the information organized? It’s a vague topic….  _ She shakes her head in annoyance  _ I’ve never had this problem before…. 

**Veronica:** Yeah, I get that. But let’s see if I can help any. So, what techniques we went over did you decide to research?

**Duke:** Well, I started with….

 

_ Much later _

 

**Duke:** ….Which is why people just need to mind their own fucking business once in a while!  _ Slams fist on her desk _

**Veronica:** _ somewhat bemused  _ You’re not wrong there. What did Heather do about it?

**Duke:** What do you think? Fucking nothing, same thing she always does when that happens.

**Veronica:** I thought Kurt and Ram left you guys alone?

**Duke:** _ snorts  _ They leave Heather alone. I’m not important enough to be awarded the same courtesy.

**Veronica:** That’s kind of a shit thing to do then.

**Duke:** Fucking duh, but they’ve always done that. Can’t really expect anything else from them.

**Veronica:** I meant Heather.

**Duke:** _ looks up  _ Oh…. Yeah, I guess. But it’s like she always says, if I don’t stand up for myself at some point I’ll never be able to….  _ She’s almost muttering to herself at this point _

**Veronica:** I mean, yeah, but that’s not really an excuse…. 

**Duke:** Mhm….

 

_ There’s a brief pause _

**Duke:** Why the fuck am I telling you all this anyway, not like you should know…. Or care….  _ She shakes head _

**Veronica:** What? Of course I would care if-

**Duke:** I think I’m good on the essay, thanks a lot for helping.

**Veronica:** Smooth subject change there.

**Duke:** _ snorts (she does do that a lot)  _ I’m fine Veronica. Really, I can handle myself these days. 

**Veronica:** Okay, I guess…. You think you can finish writing?

**Duke:** _ stretches in her chair  _ Yeah, I’m good. And…. thanks, really. If you didn’t call I’d probably get a pretty shit grade on this thing. 

**Veronica:** _ smiles a little  _ Anytime. Nothing like bringing the old gang back together, you know? Teamwork and all that crap.

**Duke:** Power of friends, blah blah whatever. Yup.

**Veronica:** Oh, that reminds me, I meant to ask; Are you guys gonna want to do another session sometime?

**Duke:** Oh, for DnD?

**Veronica:** Yeah, it seemed like you had fun last time. I haven’t seen Chandler in that good a mood since…. Well, ever, actually.

**Duke:** Yeah, she was this morning too. It’s disconcerting, to be honest.  _ She thinks for a moment  _ I know Mac will, she had a blast. Always used to complain how she never spent enough time with us- well, to me, Heather’d never stand for such heinous talk.

**Veronica:** _ rolls her eyes  _ No fraternizing with the enemy, right?

**Duke:** _ grins  _ I should reread those books…. And yeah pretty much. I… might want to do another one. Could be fun. No reason not to anyway.

**Veronica:** Sounds good. Next Saturday work by any chance?

**Duke:** I don’t think so, there’s some big party at Kurt’s place that night. Can’t miss it or it’ll look weird.

**Veronica:** Friday night, then?

**Duke:** That might work actually, I don’t think we have anything then? I’ll have to ask though. 

**Veronica:** You don’t really have to ask you know…

**Duke:** I mean, yeah…. But it’s no fun if all of us don’t agree.  _ Shrugs  _

**Veronica:** Fair enough I guess. 

**Duke:** I think I’ve gotta go though, there’s some other stuff I need to get done. 

**Veronica:** Okay. See you tomorrow then. Well, in passing….  _ She reaches to disconnect the call _

**Duke:** Veronica?

**Veronica:** Yeah?

**Duke:** Thanks.

**Veronica:** _ Smiles and disconnects the call.  _

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 19, 1:30 PM _

**V-Soysauce:** hey guys

**V-Soysauce:** sup

**V-Soysauce:** HELLO

**Marsha:** Sorry, hi!

**Marsha:** What’s up :)

**V-Soysauce:** lol Nothing Really

**V-Soysauce:** this place is Boring As Fuck

**Marsha:** I’d invite you over here but it’s not much better….

**Marsha:** I was planning for tomorrow a bit

**V-Soysauce:** what like Homework Stuff? 

**V-Soysauce:** I swear this Much of Our Lives should not Revolve around Homework

**V-Soysauce:** this is Indicative of A Deep Societal Malady, In This Essay I Will-

**Marsha:** No, remember Heather McNamara was going to hang out in the art hall after school tomorrow? 

**Marsha:** She sorta showed interest in my stained glass stuff so I was going to give her a mini lesson on that.

**Marsha:** Thought it’d be fun :)

**V-Soysauce:** ah Good Idea actually

**V-Soysauce:** do you Remember those Origami things she Used To Do

**Marsha:** Oh right! Those were fun, I wonder if she still does those. 

**V-Soysauce:** fun is One Way To Put it, I never wanted to Look at a Piece of Paper again

**berryFinn:** yes, as I recall everything you made looked like it had been through vietnam

**V-Soysauce:** CONVENIENT TIME FOR YOU TO SHOW UP

**berryFinn:** IM SORRY MY PHONE FELL BEHIND THE STOVE

**Marsha:** How did it get there…?

**berryFinn:** my dad thinks something is wrong with the gas lines so I was trying to take a photo or something

**V-Soysauce:** oh good I thought You Were going to Say you were Cooking Stuff

**berryFinn:** bitch my cooking isn’t that bad

**V-Soysauce:** it’s better than Mine I guess but That’s Not Saying Much

**berryFinn:** you could probably burn water when boiling it, that’s not a compliment

**V-Soysauce:** comparing Me to Halt is Though

**berryFinn:** what?

**Marsha:** I get it!

**V-Soysauce:** from the- oh Nevermind

**V-Soysauce:** it is Boring as Fuck though

**V-Soysauce:** maybe I Should Take up Parkour again

**berryFinn:** Veronica you stopped that because you almost died

**V-Soysauce:** I did Not 

**Marsha:** You kinda did….

**berryFinn:** you literally broke your arm and your leg

**V-Soysauce:** that Flagpole was Slipperier than I expected Okay

**berryFinn:** exactly, I don’t want you getting recklessly hurt again or something

**V-Soysauce:** oh you Sound like My Parents….

**Marsha:** You do complain about them being overprotective….

**berryFinn:** yeah and that’s fucking why

**Marsha:** Wait, it is?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah

**V-Soysauce:** they Haven’t Liked me going out Much Since Then

**Marsha:** Oh….

**berryFinn:** they’ve gotten better though!

**V-Soysauce:** sort of

**V-Soysauce:** they don’t Stress My Not getting Hurt as much but They’ve sorta branched out Into “Interaction with other people is bad” In General

**berryFinn:** really??? I thought they got over it mostly

**V-Soysauce:** I mean You Guys are Fine because my Parents know You Well

**V-Soysauce:** outside of You and the Heathers Though

**V-Soysauce:** and it’s Not Like they’re mcuch of an Option

**V-Soysauce:** well, they Weren’t

**berryFinn:** still aren’t. 

**V-Soysauce:** I was Talking With Heather earlier actually

**Marsha:** _ Which one though _

**V-Soysauce:** Duke

**berryFinn:** why? about what?

**V-Soysauce:** she Wanted Help on an Essay

**Marsha:** Oh that was nice of you! I thought she was a good writer though?

**berryFinn:** yeah that doesn’t make a ton of sense

**V-Soysauce:** she said She’d been Having an Off Week

**Marsha:** Fair enough.

**berryFinn:** how do you know she wasn’t trying to get information or something?

**V-Soysauce:** read that Message over Again why don’t You, Miss conspiracy theorist

**berryFinn:** sorry old habits…. whatever

**berryFinn:** that’s what she does though, you know?

**berryFinn:** did you hear about the girl who was supposed to have been fucking one of Chandler’s boyfriends or whatever a while ago

**V-Soysauce:** no?

**berryFinn:** yeah exactly

**berryFinn:** it was super obvious and no one ever heard about it

**Marsha:** Hold on, wasn’t she the girl who dropped a bunch of stuff last year and everyone kept making fun of really bad? Alice Shaw or something?

**berryFinn:** yup. convenient huh

**V-Soysauce:** toooo beeee Faaaair she was a Complete Airhead

**berryFinn:** THAT DOESN’T MAKE THAT OKAY

**Marsha:** What does her dropping classes have to do with her being with Heather’s boyfriend?

**berryFinn:** she dropped every class with one of those three in it and then got laughed halfway out of the school for being a stupid bimbo

**Marsha:** Oh….

**V-Soysauce:** okay I Didn’t Know that

**V-Soysauce:** I mean, she Was Sleeping with someone’s Boyfriend though….

**berryFinn:** I mean, I guess

**berryFinn:** to be honest I don’t care that much, she was kind of an asshole

**berryFinn:** it’s just creepy how much control the Heathers have over basically everything

**V-Soysauce:** you kinda Have a Point I guess

**V-Soysauce:** but it’s Not That Bad? the school Probably only is Still Standing because They’re here

**berryFinn:** I know, I know

**berryFinn:** pfft that almost applies literally, remember that prank Kurt and Ram were going to pull with the fireworks on the football field

**Marsha:** I heard about that, is that true?

**V-Soysauce:** oh when They Were keeping All the Fireworks in the Boiler Room? idsdkfjdfds idiots

**berryFinn:** yup. 

**V-Soysauce:** you seem To Know A Lot too are you In on the Mafia network :eyes:

**berryFinn:** as if, if I was I wouldn’t have to beg for the club budget….

**berryFinn:** DSKFDKF the point is I don’t like them being in charge of the school

**V-Soysauce:** could be Worse but Yeah I guess you’re Right….

**Marsha:** It kinda defeats the purpose of all the voting we do, yeah….

**V-Soysauce:** who Knows, maybe we can Infiltrate them and Turn the Network to use for good

**berryFinn:** right, like that’s going to happen

 

_ Insert much further conversation that, were this a story on the internet, would be cut for length reasons. _

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 19, 8:54 PM _

**berryFinn:** so

**berryFinn:** my cousin’s in town, just got here an hour ago

**V-Soysauce:** oh you Mentioned He was coming

**Marsha:** You have a cousin?

**berryFinn:** yeah lol I have a few 

**berryFinn:** his name’s Jason Dean, I haven’t seen him in a really long time

**Marsha:** Oh, I remember you mentioning him years ago or something

**V-Soysauce:** do you Guys Talk much?

**berryFinn:** not really. he used to message me sometimes but he kinda stopped a few years ago, maybe he got a new phone?

**V-Soysauce:** were You Guys close?

**berryFinn:** we got along but again not really. his dad was kind of an asshole if I remember correctly? so he’d come over sometimes but we didn’t hang out or anything

**V-Soysauce:** oh that Sucks

**V-Soysauce:** what was He Like?

**berryFinn:** kinda like you tbh, read a lot and always thought he was a lot cooler than he was. always had a snarky comment ;) pretty likable overall I guess. that was a while ago though, he could’ve changed *shrugs*

**V-Soysauce:** ouch.

**Marsha:** Hopefully his dad has, at any rate :(

**berryFinn:** yeah….

**berryFinn:** last I remember he and his parents moved to a city for some job or something

**berryFinn:** then they moved a couple times and I think they did a lot more but I don’t really know, he stopped calling/texting around then….

**Marsha:** That’s odd….

**V-Soysauce:** yeah that Seems Sketchy, and if he Doesn’t Text You how do you Know He’s coming…?

**berryFinn:** one of his parents called my mom a few minutes ago, I tried to listen in but I couldn’t hear much. they didn’t talk for long, she just told me they were here

**Marsha:** Oh, is he going to come to our school?

**berryFinn:** I guess? I’ll ask

**V-Soysauce:** oh he’s in For a Fun Time

**V-Soysauce:** new Kids at Westerberg, always Goes Well….

**berryFinn:** apparently yes

**Marsha:** We’ll have to say hi then!

**V-Soysauce:** or something

**V-Soysauce:** tomorrow Should be Entertaining 

**Marsha:** I like meeting people :)

**berryFinn:** weirdo

**V-Soysauce:** weirdo

**Marsha:** :(

**berryFinn:** lol it should be fine though

**V-Soysauce:** WE SHALL SEE!

**berryFinn:** wow this conversation rambled lol

**V-Soysauce:** ‘swhat Happens when You Sit Around all Day

**Marsha:** I’m gonna head off, see you guys tomorrow :)

**berryFinn:** byee

**V-Soysauce:** night, I’m also Gonna go Get some Reading done

**berryFinn:** NEEEEERD

**berryFinn:** but also see ya

**V-Soysauce:** o>

  
  
  


**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 7:59 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I FUCKING HATE MONDAYS

**Duche:** Here we go

**Scarlet-Bitch:** GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL GOD

**Macncheese:** you okay?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yes but shut up

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK

**Scarlet-Bitch:** DSKFSDFKADSFSAKFADSJFKSDFJASKFSLAASDLFAKSDLASDJASK

**Duche:** ANYWAY

**Duche:** You guys at school yet

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I wASNT DONE and almost yeah

**Macncheese:** same

**Duche:** Well I am

**Duche:** And there’s a new guy here

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait what 

**Macncheese:** no one ever transfers here, that’s a little odd

**Scarlet-Bitch:** who cares, what’s he look like and what’s he doing

**Duche:** Jesus hold on

**Duche:** It’s weird

**Duche:** It’s hard to see from here but it looks like he’s wearing a trench coat…?

**Duche:** He’s hanging off to the side, his hair’s kinda long so I can’t see his face

**Macncheese:** huh….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what the fuck

**Scarlet-Bitch:** bad boy huh?

**Duche:** Something like that, lol

**Macncheese:** if it was summer I’d say so but it’s really cold, maybe he’s just wearing it to stay warm?

**Duche:** I guess but the hair and the position in the room’s kinda emo-ish if you ask me

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean he si new though, that might be part of it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** he’s just another random loser

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no one we need to pay attention to

**Macncheese:** I’m at the school! oh I see you Heather

**Duche:** Get over here

**Macncheese:** sorry I’m trying I’m not tall and people don’t really see me

**Duche:** Bitch I’m shorter than you

**Macncheese:** you have more force of personality

**Scarlet-Bitch:** thats debatable.

**Duche:** oh fuck you

**Macncheese:** trench coat kid’s heading for the junior’s hallway

**Duche:** Either he’s a junior like us or he doesn’t know where he’s going

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that should be funny

**Duche:** Nah I think he’s a junior even though he’s fucking tall from over here at least

**Macncheese:** oh yeah

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m here

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck the bell rang, where’d he go?

**Duche:** He just stopped in the hall, we’re over here

**Macncheese:** oH SHIT

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what??

**Macncheese:** he just glanced over at us

**Duche:** Yikes…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** so?? who cares

**Macncheese:** he looks really creepy though!

**Duche:** Yeah that was kinda unsettling

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what, you pillowcases worried about a loser emo kid with too much eyeshadow or something

**Macncheese:** you’re right I guess….

**Duche:** He’s gone now anyway

**Scarlet-Bitch:** Heather I want information about him, whatever his name is

**Scarlet-Bitch:** interrogate him at lunchtime poll or something

**Duche:** Fine….

**Macncheese:** fuck I forgot about that! Do we have a question?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ll make something up. you guys get the fuck to class, the bell rang and I don’t want to fight fleming on a monday morning

**Duche:** Will do

**Macncheese:** see you!

 

_ JD sighed as he walked towards the school. After ten of the fucking things, they all started to blend together. How different could Sherwood, Ohio possibly be? Even if it was a return to his “hometown”- fuck that, home was where his mom was. Not the latest cheap suburban house his dad could turn into his own private bar. His cousin was supposedly here, but he barely remembered her. Best stay away from her, keep his dad happy. When his dad stayed happy, everyone was better off.  _

_ Shaking his head, he looked around, his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. The murmur of conversation- more of a roar, honestly- spread around him as the student body filed into the building like sheep on their way to the world’s slowest and least efficient slaughterhouse. JD snorted-  _ starting off cynical already, huh. 

_ He ducked under a low section of the front entrance and made his way to the side. His eyes flickered around. For all the repetitiveness of high schools, it was worth staking out the scene. There were the nerds over there, huddled against the far wall. No one else would talk enthusiastically like that while still looking miserable. There were the losers, by themselves, with everyone cutting a wide berth around them. There were the jocks, the theater geeks, the kids with brazen false confidence just trying to survive until June. His gaze was drawn to a pair of girls, probably seniors, in the center of the room. Their ridiculously bright outfits stood out against the mindless crowd, and they seemed to have the confidence of the geeks while the students split around them like the losers.  _ The popular girls, then.

_ The color coding was a cute touch. Like something out of a generic 80s movie. He tilted his head to the side, letting his hair fall across his face as he leaned against the wall so they didn’t see him watching. They were glancing and pointing at him, texting someone on their phones. And who could blame them? Nothing says “competition for popularity” like the loser in the trench coat….. He stopped paying attention to them and let his eyes wander absentmindedly around the room. The popular crowd was never a problem if you could stay out of the spotlight. _

_ A few minutes later the bell rang, and the crowd began moving into the hallways. JD stepped warily into the sea of people and began following the kids who looked closest to his age, entering some hallway or another. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the girls from before looking at him as he moved, and he paused before turning around and staring at them for a moment, lowering his face slightly. He suppressed a grin as they jumped, then turned and began walking off to wherever today’s first torture session of a class was.  _

A  _ little  _ notoriety never hurt anyone, after all.

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 8:46 AM _

**V-Soysauce:** I saw Some Random Guy in the lobby This Morning, was that your cousin….?

**berryFinn:** I got here late but probably?

**berryFinn:** what did he look like

**V-Soysauce:** uh

**V-Soysauce:** tall af, Emo af, wearing a Trench Coat, longish hair

**V-Soysauce:** sort of Creepy to be Honest

**berryFinn:** huh….

**berryFinn:** he did use to wear a trench coat sometimes but he didn’t look like that, guess it must be though

**berryFinn:** unless we have two new people but transfer students here are rare as fuck

**V-Soysauce:** why, This Place is sO gReAt

**berryFinn:** riGhT SillY mE

**berryFinn:** anyway I’ll talk to him at lunch, see what’s up

**V-Soysauce:** sounds Like a Plan

**V-Soysauce:** hopefully You can Get his Phone Number or something?

**berryFinn:** yeah that’d be helpful

**berryFinn:** fuck I gotta go I’m being evil eyed

**V-Soysauce:** I thought You were Watching a Documentary or whatever?

**berryFinn:** yeah but there’s a worksheet to go with it and we have a hard ass sub today

**V-Soysauce:** ah 

**V-Soysauce:** good Luck With That, then

**berryFinn:** gottago

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 9:15 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** AAAH GUYS

**Duche:** ???

**Macncheese:** what?!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sorry I just realized creepy trench coat kid is RIGHT BEHIND ME IN THIS CLASS

**Duche:** How did you not notice that?!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** HE BLENDS INTO THE SHADOWS FUCK YOU

**Macncheese:** what’s he doing?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** writing something down, looks like hes paying attention in class

**Macncheese:** does he see you looking at him?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** nope pocket mirrors are the best

**Duche:** Pocket mirrors FTW

**Macncheese:** ^

**Scarlet-Bitch:** actually I’m not sure he’s paying attention

**Scarlet-Bitch:** he kinda looks bored and he’s just sort of looking around the room and writing things down randomly

**Duche:** Maybe he’s taking notes on the students

**Macncheese:** yeah, he’s a spy for the CIA

**Scarlet-Bitch:** if that was true he’d want to be a little less noticeable FUCK I think he saw me watching him

**Scarlet-Bitch:** creepy ass motherfucker

**Macncheese:** I don’t know, I thought his hair was kinda cute

**Scarlet-Bitch:** first off ew no you have terrible taste

**Scarlet-Bitch:** second I thought you were a lesbian

**Macncheese:** his hair is platonically cute

**Duche:** Fair enough

**Scarlet-Bitch:** but yeah no he’s not attractive at all

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean maybe he could be

**Scarlet-Bitch:** the clothes and outfit ruins the whole image though

**Scarlet-Bitch:** he has no idea how to accessorize 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** he could look okay I guess otherwise

**Duche:** You’re weirdly focused on this 

**Duche:** I thought you didn’t crush on guys anymore

**Scarlet-Bitch:** especially if he lost the eyeshadow

**Scarlet-Bitch:** LDJASDFKDF IM NOT

**Macncheese:** awww you used to do that all the time that’d be cute

**Duche:** My my what would people think, Heather Chandler with the emo kid

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NO, FUCK BOTH OF YOU 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NOW HES loOKing AT ME AGAIN gaH

**Macncheese:** :redheart:

**Duche:** I’m going to start calling you Karen Smith

**Macncheese:** aw lol please do!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what?

**Duche:** Nothing.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** anyway wilson’s watching me I should probably pay attention now

**Macncheese:** I thought paying attention in class was above you ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** dsjfk I suck at math fucking sue me

**Scarlet-Bitch:** keep an eye on trench coat mkay

**Duche:** Will do. 

**Macncheese:** okay!

 

_ Heather Chandler had to remind herself, not for the first time, that boys were not attractive. Well, they were. She wasn’t a lesbian or anything. Not that that was bad or anything, it was obvious that Heather and Heather probably were, she just meant- _

_ Anyway. _

_ She couldn’t have a crush on a guy, that would mean that she had an exploitable weakness. She could think they looked good, but not too much of that. People had to be in love with her, have hopeless crushes on  _ her _ , not the other way around. That was just how it worked. Had been for the last two years. Right. If she thought someone was special that was just because she found them conceptually interesting; everyone always is interested in the new kid. _

_ Right. _

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 10:30 AM _

**berryFinn:** something weird’s going on here

**V-Soysauce:** what, Toxic Fumes in the Science Hall again?

**berryFinn:** yeah what else is new but no

**berryFinn:** I’m in class with Jason right now, he’s sitting way in the back

**V-Soysauce:** did you Talk to Him at all?

**berryFinn:** I tried to say hi when we walked in and he just brushed me off? Like he didn’t acknowledge I was there

**V-Soysauce:** maybe He Didn’t Recognize You…?

**berryFinn:** I look pretty much the same as I used to and I have the same glasses and all…

**berryFinn:** I guess maybe? still rude though

**V-Soysauce:** hopefully He’s still Nice… What’s he Doing now?

**berryFinn:** kinda just working in the back? He’s looking around a lot, seems kinda bored to be honest

**V-Soysauce:** well Can’t blame Him There

**V-Soysauce:** we’ll talk to Him at Lunch or Something, you can Introduce me and Catch up

**berryFinn:** yeah yeah

**berryFinn:** hopefully the lipgloss gestapo doesn’t interrogate him first

**berryFinn:** or kurt and ram

**berryFinn:** or the nerds

**berryFinn:** or the theater geeks who always try to be the new kid’s personal guide

**V-Soysauce:** pshaw It’ll be Fine

**berryFinn:** >pshaw

**V-Soysauce:** shut up

**berryFinn:** _ >” p s h a w” _

**V-Soysauce:** SHUT

**berryFinn:** yeah sorry

**berryFinn:** I dunno I’m just kinda worried, he looks so weird….

**V-Soysauce:** you used to Care About Him a lot I guess?

**berryFinn:** well yeah….

**berryFinn:** he was always really upbeat, you know, and I admired it because his family never seemed to get along that well

**berryFinn:** mom and dad always seemed tense whenever I saw them

**berryFinn:** but he was still this adventurous little shit who did whatever

**berryFinn:** guess I’m probably nostalgifying it a bit, he probably hasn’t changed that much

**V-Soysauce:** aw That’s nice :)

**V-Soysauce:** and yeah, Hopefully we can Sort Things Out and shit later

**V-Soysauce:** now Pay Attention in Class

**berryFinn:** *blows raspberry*

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 11:15 AM _

**Duche:** I’m off to lunch

**Scarlet-Bitch:** It’s lunch, no shit you’re off to lunch

**Macncheese:** I mean….

**Macncheese:** she skips and hangs back in classes often…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** right…

**Duche:** Fuck off I wanted to help so I’m fucking going to lunch

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay sorry don’t get your panties twisted

**Macncheese:** sorry :(

**Duche:** yeah yeah

**Duche:** I’m in the cafeteria now, where are you guys?

**Macncheese:** a little behind, our class ran a bit late, catch up in a minute!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what she said

**Duche:** Trench Coat’s in the back at the third red table

**Scarlet-Bitch:** surprise

**Macncheese:** I’m here! I’ll go wait at our table. 

**Duche:** What’s the lunchtime poll question? I’m not hungry I’ll start that when people settle in.

**Macncheese:** :( You should eat lunch more often….

**Duche:** I’ll grab something after

**Macncheese:** you always say that :((((

**Duche:** I’m fine Heather, don’t worry. I had a big breakfast. Anyway, the poll question…?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I knew there was something I forgot last night

**Macncheese:** you don’t have one?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NO

**Scarlet-Bitch:** uh

**Scarlet-Bitch:** um

**Scarlet-Bitch:** “If you were in a relationship with someone, and the only way you could keep that relationship was to sacrifice your social standing, which option do you pick?”

**Duche:** LOL That’s a  _ very _ specific question

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCK YOU I THOUGHT OF IT A WEEK AGO AND JUST REMEMBERED IT

**Macncheese:** riiiight

**Macncheese:** ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** seriously, coincidence though. and also get the fuck to work

**Duche:** Well I’m fucking sorry, yes your highness….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** skfdsflk that came out rude sorry I just meant it determinedly 

**Duche:** lol Gotcha.

**Macncheese:** I’ll wait here I guess? Sorry we don’t have more clipboards….

**Duche:** Not your fault. I’ll start doing the polls then, when you get here in a sec you start on the other side.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** will do

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 11:17 AM _

**Marsha:** Hey girls!

**Marsha:** I won’t be at lunch sadly I grabbed mine early to help Mr. Jackson set up some stuff in the art room :(

**berryFinn:** aw that’s okay, we were just gonna go say hi to Jason and see what’s up

**V-Soysauce:** I just got Into the Cafeteria, is that Him at the Back?

**berryFinn:** oh I see you hi

**berryFinn:** and yeah that’s him

**V-Soysauce:** it’s a Good Thing everyone else Doesn’t use their Phones This Much or no one Would be Able to Walk around here….

**berryFinn:** oh shush

**V-Soysauce:** I grabbed My Lunch- well, “lunch”- at the Table, Wanna head Back and talk to Jason?

**berryFinn:** lezgo

 

_ And so the four individuals, each pair unaware of the other’s intentions, moved slowly around the bustling cafeteria. Heather Chandler had arrived a moment later, and hurried over to the Heathers’ designated table to grab a clipboard and begin making her rounds of the students in the lunchtime poll. Heather Duke had already begun doing so on the other side of the room. The two walked from table to table, pausing to talk as the students hastily raised their heads to acknowledge the Heathers. The two girls subtly avoided the tables closer to the walls, which were inhabited by noticeably less confident looking kids who tended to duck nervously as the powerful clique members passed. _

_ Meanwhile, Veronica Sawyer waved at Betty Finn as they saw each other from either side of the room. They were moving towards the back, slightly ahead of the Heathers. They went much more unnoticed than the other pair of girls; no one was exactly going out of their way to acknowledge their presence. All the while, Jason Dean sat at the back of the room alone at a table, a book in his hands, seemingly oblivious to the world around him. Kurt and Ram stood talking and laughing at a table in the middle of the cafeteria, and Heather McNamara hesitantly ate her food alone at the Heathers’ large table. All was normal at the moment. _

_ Moments later, Veronica and Betty arrived at the back corner of the room, where few people sat and those who did merely bowed their heads as anyone passed. The Heathers seemed to trail close behind, and Kurt and Ram glanced up from their conversation in the background. _

 

“Hey, Jason!”

Betty stumbled into a clearing of sorts in the tables and brushed her hair out her face, grinning awkwardly. Veronica followed, holding several books. JD’s head snapped up and he grimaced.

“Please don’t call me that,” he said. He glanced between the two of them. A flicker of recognition ran over his eyes. “Betty….?’

Betty nodded and waved, walking over to the table. “I tried to say hi earlier, but you didn’t notice.”

JD frowned. “Oh, that was you? My apologies, I wasn’t paying much attention. Mostly trying to avoid contact with anyone if I could help it.” He stood up, pushing his chair out of the way. 

He seemed imposingly tall at first, but he couldn’t be that much taller than Veronica once you gave a second look at him. He wore dark blue jeans and black boots, but the eyes tended to be drawn to the long trench coat that swirled around him as he rose. His hair fell partially over his right eye, and his eyes had circles under them so dark it would be hard to believe he wasn’t wearing eyeshadow. If he hadn’t been hesitantly smiling in a way that made him seem like a stereotypical new kid who had no idea what he was doing, the overall impression would’ve been quite intimidating. “The name’s Jason Dean,” he said, addressing Veronica. He turned to Betty. “JD for short, now.”

Betty raised an eyebrow. “Why the change? Just wanted to sound cooler?” She said, a hint of her normal snarkiness returning.

JD shrugged. “Jason has bad connotations with me at the moment. And yeah, that’s a handy side effect.”

The two stood there hesitantly for a moment. After a pause Betty smiled almost nervously. “It’s good to see you again.” Then she ran in and embraced JD, as if wanting to do it before she could think herself out of it.

JD looked surprised and slightly uncomfortable but he returned the hug. Then he stepped back, scratching his neck. “So,” he said, sitting back down and motioning for the two girls to do the same. “What have I missed?” His confidence seemed to be increasing.

Betty grinned at him in disbelief. “Only about six years of shitty schools and all the other old Sherwood Ohio charm. Jesus, you’ve never even been in this school-” She paused and shook her head, and looked over to Veronica. “I never introduced you- this is my friend Veronica, I don’t think you two ever talked much.”

Veronica hesitantly shook JD’s hand over the table, setting down her books. The latter glanced down and raised his eyebrows. “A reading girl! Someone who takes after my own heart.”

Veronica blushed. “Nah, most of these are for school. Nothing good.”

JD frowned and picked a couple of them up. “School, nothing better for sucking the life out of good literature.” He flipped through the pages. “Heart of Darkness, Scarlet Letter…. Damn, some of these would be good if you were reading them on your own!” He gave a dramatic sigh and handed them back.

Veronica smiled more confidently as she took them back. “Maybe I’ll have to approach them differently then.”

Betty scooted her chair in. “I thought you two’d hit it off. Oh, Jas-” She caught herself. “JD, what classes do you have? I only saw you in the one.”

“Well, I would’ve been in more, but this pushy bastard from guidance or whatever seemed stoically intent on seeing that I spend as much time as possible talking to teachers I don’t even have than actually being in class….”

The three began an increasingly enthusiastic conversation, rapidly forgetting the unpleasant place they were. It turned out JD shared Veronica’s passion for reading and Betty’s sarcastic demeanor (well, not to say Veronica wasn’t sarcastic). He had a somewhat approachable demeanor about him, but was also somehow confident in his own reserved way. 

_ He’s almost…. Cool,  _ Betty and Veronica both thought, not knowing the other had the same reaction.

 

_ Meanwhile, Heather Chandler was asking generic questions to some nerd or another-  _ Could that asshole have sat in a more inconvenient possible location-  _ when she noticed that the Losers had struck up a conversation with him. Giving a huff of annoyance, she hurriedly scribbled down the idiot’s hesitant response before gesturing across the room to Duke, who quickly looked up. She pointed towards the back, and Duke glanced over before giving her a nod. The two quickened their pace of asking questions as they tried to reach the table that the trio sat so obliviously.  _

 

_ Further back in the room, the trench coat-wearing boy had also attracted the attention of somewhat less intelligent but no less dangerous eyes. Kurt and Ram paused in their conversation about the unfortunate decline of porn magazines and began whispering to each other, gesturing at JD. He had far too much confidence for being here on his first day. Who did the idiot think he was, anyway? Keanu fuckin’ Reeves? Better take his emo ass down a few pegs, make sure he knows the lay of the land. Really, it’d be doing him a favor.  _

_ And so the two moved towards the back of the cafeteria. And with the nerds and the geeks and the scum of the school much more ready to move out of the way of the two star football players than the clipboard-toting Heathers, they arrived rather quicker than the other party…. _

 

“Hey, Keanu, hasn’t anyone told you this is where the losers sit?”

The voice of Kurt Kelly rang out over the until-recently excited conversation taking place at the third red table in the back of the Westerberg cafeteria. Veronica and Betty whipped around to see the speaker and his equally eloquent friend Ram Sweeney looming over them.

Ram motioned to a nearby student. The poor kid jumped up and moved to the side, looking down, and Ram nonchalantly slid the chair over and sat down. Kurt sat on the other side of the two girls, grinning across the table.

JD frowned (it seemed to be a common expression for him). “I must’ve misheard you, I somehow got it into my head that you referred to these two ladies as “losers””?

Kurt chuckled. “Wise guy, huh?”

Ram spoke up. “No, see, we got a system here. The kids who know what they’re doing, the normal guys, you know? We hang out up there,” He pointed towards the front of the cafeteria. “This place back here’s for, well, ya know, the kids like this.” He gestured around dismissively.

“And we just thought it’d be nice,” said Kurt, looking between Ram and JD, “to tell you how it works around here. Man to man, right? Wouldn't want a new guy getting off to a bad start.”

JD maintained a neutral expression; he still seemed somewhat bored of the whole conversation. “So what you’re telling me is back here is where the losers hang out?”

Ram shook his head, apparently appalled he would suggest such a thing. “Nah, we’d never say that. This is just the guys who, they don’t really have it figured out yet, right? Indecisive and all.”

Kurt nodded. “Yeah, they couldn’t handle it up there. It’s for their own good, you know? Besides,” he gestured at a kid in a wheelchair on the opposite side of the room, who had an older woman sitting next to him. She was clearly helping him around the school, probably an assistant assigned to the student in question. “Some guys don’t really have it figured out up here yet either.” He tapped his head and winked, and leaned over to fist bump Ram across the table. 

JD had a look in his eye that someone more observant might have identified as barely checked annoyance, but his voice was still calm. “Well, fellas, I appreciate the offer, but I have to say I’m happy right here where I am.” He spread his arms. “More comfortable back here away from the hussle and bussle, ‘ya know’?” His voice took on a slightly mocking tone. Across the table, Betty and Veronica winced and looked at each other.

Kurt and Ram also glanced at each other, much more obvious annoyance spreading across their faces. “Well, kid, that’s not very nice of you, declining our generous offer like that?” Ram said warningly. They stood up, and slowly moved to the sides of the table.

JD looked between them. “I assure you I mean no offense. But we were trying to have a polite conversation before you showed up, so I’d be delighted if you’d move on your way. Please.”

Kurt stepped forward, cracking his knuckles. “Talkin like a fuckin’ english assignment won’t get you special treatment around here. I don’t know what kind of fag school you went to before, but we have rules around here.”

Ram mimicked his movements. “And one of those rules is when we say you move, you move.”

 

_ Heather Chandler had nearly reached the back of the room, and she had been sending worried glances both to Duke across to the room and to the rapidly escalating conversation at JD’s table.  _ That fucking moron’s going to get himself hurt-  _ She mentally slapped herself. Keeping kids who got too confident in check was Kurt and Ram’s job. But really, a fight right now would just cause trouble. Fucking inconvenient, that was it. Better if she stopped it now. Heather gave an annoyed kick towards a backpack left in the way at her feet. Almost there…. _

JD was standing now, leaning against the wall in a relaxed posture between Kurt and Ram. “As I said, please get away from our table. You’re being very rude.”

Kurt snorted. “And like I said, fag, you need to get your ass up to the front of the room where we can keep an eye on you.”

Veronica cleared her throat, but it was Betty who spoke up first, standing quickly. “JD, please just move-”

“See, the bitch knows what she’s talking about,” Ram said, grinning.

Betty, who for all her confidence was less used to standing up to people than Veronica, winced and looked down.

_ Heather Chandler shouted Kurt’s name across the room, but either the distance was too far or the jocks were too distracted to hear. Heather Duke tried the same, but if Chandler couldn’t make herself heard Duke had no chance.  _ If these fucking losers just kept their stuff organized like normal fucking people-

 

JD’s eye twitched dangerously and he stood up straight. “What was that?”

Kurt snorted. “What do you care? She’s just another random weird loser. She’s not worth anyone’s time.”

“This is your last chance, leave us alone,” JD snarled, glaring between the two jocks.

Ram laughed. “This idiot wants to pick a fight!”

“What do you say we give him one?” Kurt grinned menacingly.

“I’m not sure you’d like that,” JD replied as the two taller boys closed in.

“If you’re dumb enough to get your ass kicked just for some stupid slut-”

 

_ Fuck, she wasn’t going to get there, the idiot new kid was going to get royally fucked and she was going to have another fight on her hands, god fucking- _

 

JD punched Kurt Kelly square in the face.

 

_ Oh. _

 

Kurt let out an uncharacteristically high yelp and stumbled backwards. Ram snarled and swung his fist at JD- or where he had been, as the unlikely defender of justice had ducked in the blink of an eye and drove a hard kick between the off-balance jock’s legs. JD ducked swiftly between the table and the still-recovering Kurt, and tossed the book he had been holding off to the side before adopting a well-practiced fighting stance. As Ram Sweeney let out a gasp and stumbled against the wall, JD motioned frantically to the two girls. “Run! I got this.”

Veronica and Betty, who had been watching with a mixture of awed fear and satisfaction, scrambled out of their seats and backed away from the table. As Veronica turned to leave the room as quickly as possible, she ran directly into an equally awed and worried Heather Chandler.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Veronica yelped, shoving her books into her bag.

Chandler glared, her eyes dragged away from the resuming fight behind Veronica. “Trying to stop a fight, Saywer!”

“Well great fucking job at that! Now get out of here before you get hurt or something!”

Chandler huffed. “I’m touched that you care, but I’ll be fine.”

Veronica shoved past her, looking her in the eye as she did so. “You will? Heather, have you ever been on the receiving end of a fight with Kurt and Ram that you  _ didn’t  _ set up yourself?”

“Well, no, but it’s not like that’s any-” Chandler stammered.

Veronica rolled her eyes and gestured towards the door. “Yeah, well, I’m trying to get out of here and I’m the one who’s supposed to care about JD, so take a fucking hint. Get out of here!”

Chandler continued stammering for a moment as she glanced between Veronica and the fight behind her, which had caused several tables to rapidly evacuate and had now spread across a larger area of the room. JD was visibly slowing but he hadn’t taken a major hit yet, while Kurt and Ram seemed to still be standing based on sheer anger. She swallowed.

“Fine!”

Veronica gave a huff of relief and motioned towards Betty and Heather Duke, who had encountered each other similarly on the other side of the room and were now walking swiftly towards the door. No one wanted to be caught near a fight- the boys could get away with that, the Heathers were less inclined to risk consequences. Chandler followed Veronica, ducking between and around tables; it seemed the Sawyer girl had made hasty exits before. They passed a confused McNamara, who was craning her neck to watch the ongoing fight; Heather motioned impatiently for her to follow, and the yellow-dressed girl fell in next to them. And as the surprised and panicked commands of teachers began to fill the room over the excited yelling of the students, the Heathers and the Losers slipped out the door of the cafeteria as the sounds of the fight between the jocks and the new kid carried on behind them.


	5. A Blurring of the Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of JD's explosive introduction, each party reacts differently. And the increased interaction between social classes has the potential to reveal some interesting things about our characters, each different than the others....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY WELL THIS IS FINALLY DONE  
> This chapter wasn't particularly difficult to write, but I really hated it because I don't like this chapter at all. It felt really derivative and pointless. And the middle is extremely boring.   
> However, I think the beginning is interesting, and I believe I ended it as well as I could have given the setup. Fuck dialogue, I don't know how anyone does it.  
> I'm very eager to get back to the central "glue" of this story, which is still supposed to be the DnD campaign. It's not exactly the most prevalent plotline, but it's the thing that ties them all together and that'll be next chapter.   
> OH ALSO I have working schedules for the characters now, which means that where everyone is in the school at any given time will start making sense as of next chapter. Sadly I can't fix the inconsistencies of previous ones, or even this one really, but that'll be improved.  
> I had a lot more stuff to say here but I can't remember it, so enjoy if possible. As always, comment if you can! Or if you can't that's okay to :)

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 11:45 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you guys okay?

**Duche:** Yeah…

**Macncheese:** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

**Duche:** Oh right you weren’t with us

**Duche:** Uh basically

**Scarlet-Bitch:** dumb and dumber picked a fight with the new kid and got their asses kicked so we left the scene asap

**Duche:** What she said.

**Macncheese:** why did we split up outside the cafeteria?

**Duche:** I didn’t mean to I just headed towards the library like I always do

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I went to the corner of the arts hallway we always use for meetings between classes?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I thought you two were following

**Macncheese:** IM STILL IN THE HALLWAY

**Duche:** Sorry!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** lol sorry

**Duche:** I’ll double back hold on

**Macncheese:** no it’s fine I’ll be there in a minute

**Scarlet-Bitch:** where??

**Macncheese:** the library?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHY NOT HERE WHERE WE ALWAYS MEET

**Macncheese:** the library is closer!

**Duche:** Fair

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fucking fine assholes I’ll be there in a minute

**Duche:** Don’t walk into a window!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** LDJFDFKDS

**Scarlet-Bitch:** IT HAPPENED ONE TIME 

**Duche:** :)

**Macncheese:** lol

**Scarlet-Bitch:** the important thing is, what do we do now??

**Macncheese:** what do you mean?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m not sure if you noticed but our head enforcers just got beaten harder than Kurt’s dick when no one’s drunk enough to sleep with him at a party

**Duche:** I mean….

**Duche:** They kinda deserved it? They were being assholes

**Macncheese:** I didn’t really see what happened….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** OF CORse THEY WERE THATS WHAT WE PAY THEM FOR

**Macncheese:** don’t we just give them beer and threaten people into going on dates with them?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well yeah but to them that’s as good as cash

**Scarlet-Bitch:** but anyway yes they’re assholes but we need them for fuck’s sake, unless you want to try beating up nerds yourself to keep them in line

**Duche:** Yeah yeah I know….

**Duche:** You have to admit seeing them get their asses kicked was fun though

**Duche:** Right?

**Macncheese:** especially by the new kid in the trench coat

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I do not, and are you implying something 

**Macncheese:** ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh fuck both of you 

**Duche:** Was impressive though

**Macncheese:** I mean yeah, I didn’t even see him get hit did he?

**Duche:** I don’t think so?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fine it was technically impressive

**Scarlet-Bitch:** Kurt and Ram are pretty fast for dumb jocks, and he just blew past them

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ve never seen someone fight like that

**Duche:** ;)))))

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHICH IF YOU LISTENED FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS means that we need to think of something to fucking do about it or we’ve got competition

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and competition means people thinking it’s okay to go against us

**Scarlet-Bitch:** And  _ we do not want _ people teaming up like that

**Duche:** You text marking? Must be important

**Macncheese:** she’s right though….

**Duche:** Yeah you have a point

**Duche:** Fuck Kurt and Ram, but we kinda do need them if we want to stay in charge logically speaking

**Macncheese:** mhm

**Macncheese:** do you have any ideas?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sort of but they’re all shit at the moment

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHY DID YOU GO TO THE LIBRARy ITS sO FUcKiNG FAr AWAR

**Duche:** Sorry….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah yeah shut up

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait what if

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** uhhhh

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ll work on it once I get there

**Macncheese:** sounds good we can plot together

**Duche:** Just like the good old days

**Macncheese:** or you know like two days ago

**Duche:** True

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that barely counts as plotting….

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 11:44 AM _

**berryFinn:** FUcKING LIBRARIAN

**V-Soysauce:** I know Since When has there Been A No Talking rule….

**Marsha:** I think it’s during lunch? For all the people who have to catch up on work then and stuff

**berryFinn:** Martha! glad to see you

**Marsha:** You’re not….? And I just saw you…?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah but Uh

**V-Soysauce:** some Shit just Went Down

**Marsha:** What happened?!

**berryFinn:** well we found my cousin

**berryFinn:** and we started talking to him, right?

**Marsha:** Oh good! Was he nice?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah I guess But Wait

**Marsha:** Sorry go on :(

**berryFinn:** and then Kurt and Ram show up to “give the new kid advice” or some bullshit like that

**Marsha:** Oh no, let me guess, they got into a fight?

**berryFinn:** you’re taking the fun out of this

**berryFinn:** but yeah they did, JD got mad when they insulted me or whatever

**V-Soysauce:** they Called you A Bitch and A Slut I should Fucking Hope he got Mad

**Marsha:** WHAT, those assholes >:(

**V-Soysauce:** MARTHA DUNNSTOCK COMING IN WITH THE STRONG LANGUAGE

**berryFinn:** IF YOU’D LET ME FINISH

**berryFinn:** yeah they got in a fight but guess what

**Marsha:** ???

**berryFinn:** JD fucking kicked their asses? like when we left he hadn’t been fucking touched yet

**Marsha:** ?????????

**V-Soysauce:** I KNOW RIGHT

**Marsha:** This is your cousin, Betty?!

**berryFinn:** apparently

**berryFinn:** (also thanks for your concern I just wanted to tell the story dramatically lol)

**Marsha:** lol It’s okay :)

**V-Soysauce:** get Back on Topic this is Crazy Shit

**Marsha:** JD is Jason Dean right…?

**berryFinn:** yeah, he said he prefers that now. not sure why….

**Marsha:** Was he always good at fighting?

**berryFinn:** no? like he wasn’t weak or anything but I don’t ever remember him being violent or really good at fighting

**berryFinn:** at least nothing like this

**V-Soysauce:** I was Gonna Ask yeah….

**V-Soysauce:** I mean I’m All For Beating up Kurt and Ram, those Fuckers Deserve it

**V-Soysauce:** but that Was a Little… I dunno….

**berryFinn:** weird?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah.

**V-Soysauce:** he seemed Kinda Off somehow? no offense

**berryFinn:** it’s fine I agree… it’s like he was trying to look calm but he wanted to fucking murder them the whole time

**berryFinn:** I’m kinda worried tbh….

**berryFinn:** I just wish I could talk to him and ask what was going on

**V-Soysauce:** the Fight got Broken Up I think

**berryFinn:** how the hell did you know that

**V-Soysauce:** overheard It in The Hallway 

**berryFinn:** sometimes I swear you have access to the security cameras

**berryFinn:** oh

**V-Soysauce:** he’s Probably in The Office now? Kurt and Ram Definitely got Off, they Always Do….

**V-Soysauce:** but JD Won’t, especially since He’s New And All

**berryFinn:** fuck the justice system of this school….

**V-Soysauce:** “justice” Is Maybe the Wrong Word, but yeah

**berryFinn:** FUCK why didn’t we ask for his phone number or something??

**V-Soysauce:** dammit That would’ve been Helpful About Now….

**Marsha:** Wait, girls

**berryFinn:** I will never not find it hilarious that you refer to us as “girls”, but go on?

**V-Soysauce:** what She said

**Marsha:** I have an idea

**Marsha:** I have my phone on me now and I’ll be heading by the office in like a minute

**Marsha:** What if I go in and see if I can slip the phone to JD?

**V-Soysauce:** MARTHA YOU’RE A GENIUS

**berryFinn:** yEAH THAT

**berryFinn:** okay uh

**berryFinn:** put a note on it or something?? so he knows what we’re doing

**V-Soysauce:** “this is from Betty’s friend, open the “Loser Solidarity” chat in the weird texting app”

**berryFinn:** that works, does your phone have a passcode?

**Marsha:** I’ll leave it unlocked :)

**berryFinn:** Martha you’re a lifesaver thank you so much

**V-Soysauce:** he Better be In The Office

**berryFinn:** nah he definitely is, they drag everyone down there

**V-Soysauce:** wait, Will You be Able to Get Your Phone back?

**Marsha:** Oh, right….

**Marsha:** I could have him say that it’s not his? They’ll just give it back to me then

**berryFinn:** yeah but if they see him texting on it they won’t…

**V-Soysauce:** shit

**Marsha:** True :(

**berryFinn:** wait we only need his phone number

**berryFinn:** Martha, if you can distract whoever’s at the office for long enough for him to text us his number from your phone

**berryFinn:** and then you can just take the phone from him and say you were letting him borrow it earlier or something

**V-Soysauce:** that Should Work

**Marsha:** I can try!

**Marsha:** I’m walking by in a second wish me luck :)

**V-Soysauce:** Good Luck!

**berryFinn:** GL!!!

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 11:49 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** why the fuck are the losers in here

**Duche:** _ I’m trying to listen to a podcast stop texting _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** BITCH I WILL DO WHAT I WANT

**Macncheese:** oh is that them on the other side of the shelf?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yes.

**Macncheese:** maybe they went here to get away from the fight too?

**Duche:** Makes sense, it’s neutral territory 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m surprised Finn would tolerate being in the same room as us

**Duche:** They got here before you did.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what??? you knew they were here?

**Duche:** Yeah they walked in five minutes ago

**Scarlet-Bitch:** why was I not fucking informed of this

**Duche:** Because you’d do this

**Macncheese:** she’s not wrong

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shut up Heather

**Duche:** Aren’t you supposed to be working on a way to deal with JD?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah yeah go back to your nerd podcasts

**Macncheese:** Betty looks really nervous, I hope she’s okay….

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 11:49 PM _

**berryFinn:** you almost there??

**Marsha:** Yeah sorry! I got caught up by Ms fleming outside the art hall and had to make up an excuse :(

**berryFinn:** it’s okay!!! I’m a bit tense sorry

**V-Soysauce:** what’d You Say…?

**Marsha:** I said someone from the robotics club sent me to ask if I could get a copy of the document outlining the budget cuts, is that okay?

**berryFinn:** that’s actually great because I actually do need another one, you’re the fucking best Martha

**Marsha:** Thank you!

**Marsha:** Heading in now, I can see JD in one of the chairs from here

**Marsha:** He looks kinda worried…

**berryFinn:** huh that’s odd… oh well I’m ready

**V-Soysauce:** while You do That Imma text Heather Duke 

**berryFinn:** why??

**V-Soysauce:** she Looked Scared when we were Leaving The Cafeteria okay

**V-Soysauce:** Chandler and Mac looked just annoyed, I want to Make Sure she’s Okay

**berryFinn:** I guess….

**V-Soysauce:** it’s what Human People with Feelings do Betty

**berryFinn:** lol I get it

**berryFinn:** gOT THE TEXT FROM JD 

**V-Soysauce:** ooh See You in a Minute then

 

**Marsha + berryFinn**

_ November 20, 11:51 AM _

**Marsha:** Hello…? Is this Betty…?

**berryFinn:** YES is this JD

**Marsha:** Yeah….

**Marsha:** Look I’m so fucking sorry about earlier

**Marsha:** It was an accident

**Marsha:** No, no it wasn’t, fuck, that’s stupid, it was on purpose but I was just really angry

**Marsha:** FUCK no I can’t talk I’m so sorry

**berryFinn:** jesus calm down it’s fine! 

**berryFinn:** we’ll talk later okay?

**Marsha:** You still want to talk now?

**berryFinn:** uh JD people fight in this school, you didn’t do anything really notable

**berryFinn:** BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT We have to be fast, what’s your phone number???

**Marsha:** What? It’s 424 989 9271, why?

**berryFinn:** so I can talk to you w/o having to have martah sneak in and give you her phone

**berryFinn:** is she there?

**Marsha:** Yeah, she’s talking about the robotics club or something. What’s going on?

**berryFinn:** well right now I just want a way to text you

**Marsha:** Martha- that’s her name right?- is glancing over I think we’re short on time

**berryFinn:** fuck we’ll talk later then

**Marsha:** Okay…. WAIT HOLD ON

**Marsha:** DON’T TEXT ME BETWEEN 4 AND 9 PM or so and I don’t usually have my phone at school

**berryFinn:** okay….? why not?

**berryFinn:** hello? JD???

**Marsha:** Sorry it’s Martha, I had to leave

**Marsha:** I’m really sorry I couldn’t stall more :((((

**berryFinn:** it’s okay…. 

**berryFinn:** that was really weird

**Marsha:** You got his number though!

**berryFinn:** true

**berryFinn:** I guess I’ll text him later and see if I can find out what’s going on

**berryFinn:** and seriously thank you so much

**Marsha:** Anytime :)

**Marsha:** I’ll be back to the library in a sec

 

**Duche + V-Soysauce**

_ November 20, 11:51 AM _

**V-Soysauce:** hey

**Duche:** Hi

**Duche:** Uh, what’s up…?

**V-Soysauce:** nothing, I Wanted to See If you were Okay

**V-Soysauce:** sorry You looked Worried Leaving the Cafeteria….

**Duche:** oh

**Duche:** I’m fine…

**Duche:** Uh, thanks for asking 

**Duche:** :)

**V-Soysauce:** oh Good I was Just Wondering

**V-Soysauce:** sorry To Bother You

**Duche:** Please, I’m not doing anything important….

**V-Soysauce:** oh Good

**Duche:** Earlier, I was just…. Worried about the fight I guess? It’s like Heather always says, we can’t have fights that we don’t control. 

**Duche:** Kurt and Ram are kind of loose cannons and it can be hard to keep them in line

**Duche:** But we’ll be fine.

**V-Soysauce:** lol I’m Sure You will

**V-Soysauce:** I almost Thought You were Scared or Something, sorta Looked that way

**V-Soysauce:** silly I Guess

**Duche:** Nah Heather would’ve gotten everything under control

**Duche:** Well…

**Duche:** ….

**Duche:** I guess maybe a little

**Duche:** But that’s not surprising right? I mean everyone’s scared of Kurt and Ram

**Duche:** That’s why we use them to keep everyone in line, if they weren’t good fighters that wouldn’t exactly be much help, right?

**V-Soysauce:** yeah I Guess…

**V-Soysauce:** well They’re Not really The Best anymore Apparently :)

**Duche:** So I saw

**Duche:** Who the fuck was that anyway?

**V-Soysauce:** Betty’s Cousin JD, he just Got Here

**Duche:** What’s he like…?

**V-Soysauce:** I’m not Totally Sure? he seemed Pretty Nice and he Did Only fight Because Kurt and Ram were Insulting Betty….

**V-Soysauce:** but he’s Kinda… I dunno, He’s Nice

**V-Soysauce:** just a Bit Weird I guess

**Duche:** Well, that’s good at least….

**V-Soysauce:** not For You Guys though? wouldn’t having Someone Better Than the Jocks be a Problem for your “Enforcement” or whatever

**Duche:** Yup, Heather’s having a conniption, it’s kind of hilarious

**V-Soysauce:** you’re Not Concerned?

**Duche:** I mean… She’ll think of something, it’ll be fine. Kurt and Ram aren’t  _ that _ important.

**V-Soysauce:** lol If You Say So

**V-Soysauce:** glad to Hear You’re Good though

**Duche:** Thanks….

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 11:54 AM _

**Marsha:** JD’s suspended :(

**berryFinn:** whAT HOW DO YOU KNOW

**Marsha:** He got called in as I was putting my phone back in my bag

**V-Soysauce:** well That Sucks

**V-Soysauce:** not Super Surprising though Is It? you don’t Get Away with That Stuff here unless You’re On The Football Team

**berryFinn:** yeah, I guess

**berryFinn:** that’s shit, getting suspended on day one

**berryFinn:** his parents aren’t going to be happy 

**Marsha:** Maybe that’s why he looked worried?

**V-Soysauce:** could be

**berryFinn:** I hope his dad’s better, that wouldn’t have gone over well back when he lived here first

**V-Soysauce:** well, Now You can Talk To Him about It at least

**berryFinn:** well yeah but he also told me not to text him between 4 and 9 I think? which is a little weird

**V-Soysauce:** huh… I’ve Got Nothing for that

**berryFinn:** I know, I’m gonna talk to him a lot tonight hopefully and see what’s up

**Marsha:** I’ve gotta go sorry I have to run some errands for Mr. Heere :(

**V-Soysauce:** bye Martha!

**berryFinn:** see ya <o/

**V-Soysauce:** wait, Hold On

 

**Duche + V-Soysauce**

_ November 20, 11:56 AM _

**V-Soysauce:** well, Chandler’s not Gonna Have To worry about JD for a While….

**Duche:** What? Why?

**V-Soysauce:** he got Suspended

**Duche:** Oh okay, good

**Duche:** I mean not good! Well, um

**V-Soysauce:** lol I know He Should Probably be Suspended yeah

**V-Soysauce:** just kinda Pisses Me Off that Kurt And Ram aren’t

**Duche:** Yeah… Oh well I guess

**V-Soysauce:** mhm

**V-Soysauce:** it’s Boring here

**Duche:** ….Is that you waving?

**V-Soysauce:** don’t Judge Me Heather

**Duche:** Don’t wave books, you might drop that!

**V-Soysauce:** lol I’ll Keep That In Mind

**Duche:** What is that anyway?

**V-Soysauce:** The Way Of Kings

**Duche:** Sorry is that the title you capitalize everything

**V-Soysauce:** LOL yeah it is Sorry

**Duche:** Huh

**V-Soysauce:** you Should Check it Out! it’s great, I Like The Author a Lot

**Duche:** I don’t have a ton of time but maybe 

**Duche:** :)

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 11:59 AM _

**Duche:** Well, good news Heather

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what??

**Macncheese:** oh what’s up?

**Duche:** You don’t have to worry about JD for a while, he’s suspended

**Scarlet-Bitch:** who the fuck is JD

**Macncheese:** the trench coat guy?

**Duche:** Yeah

**Scarlet-Bitch:** how the fuck do you know that

**Duche:** Veronica texted me a second ago

**Scarlet-Bitch:** why

**Duche:** She wanted to see if I was okay? Is that allowed?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** nO

**Macncheese:** aww that’s sweet! did she say who JD was…?

**Duche:** Apparently he’s Betty’s cousin apparently? 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well shit

**Macncheesee:** why is that shit?

**Duche:** Oh right… that’s not ideal

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m not sure if you noticed but Betty’s not exactly our biggest fan

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and having someone who’s allied with her who can beat up our guys is a bit of a problem

**Duche:** >allied

**Macncheese:** oh… hmm

**Macncheese:** it could be worse though, right? we talk to Betty kinda often

**Macncheese:** this way we can indirectly keep an eye on him at least

**Duche:** That’s actually a good point

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hmm

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay fair, better than some random loser I guess

**Duche:** Optimism!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shut the fuck up

**Duche:** ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I have an idea though, his being suspended gives us time

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we’ll be fine

**Macncheese:** we’re always fine

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that’s the spirit

**Duche:** That reminds me, what did you two do yesterday?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I was at Heather’s, duh?

**Macncheese:** yeah I picked her up remember

**Duche:** Yeah I know and you didn’t text me the rest of the day

**Macncheese:** oh shit sorry!

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we were busy

**Duche:** I WAS FUCKING WORRIED

**Macncheese:** I was getting a ton of messages about the party saturday I’m really sorry

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah, I must’ve missed you

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sorry I suppose

**Duche:** Reluctant but I’ll take it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I hope you got your essay or whatever finished

**Duche:** Yup!

**Duche:** After some delay…

**Macncheese:** did you call and get help from Veronica?

**Duche:** Eventually yeah

**Scarlet-Bitch:** finally worked up the courage to call her did you

**Duche:** What the fuck are you on about

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I don’t know what you mean?

**Duche:** Are you implying something

**Scarlet-Bitch:** bitch I don’t imply i say outright

**Macncheese:** but you always say subtlety is key to manipulation?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** also key is not bringing up the word “manipulation” while talking, Heather….

**Macncheese:** what? 

**Macncheese:** oh

**Duche:** I’m going to stop talking now

**Duche:** Have fun worrying about whether JD’s alright

**Scarlet-Bitch:** SFKSD I DONT GIVE A FUCK

**Duche:** I don’t imply I say outright

**Scarlet-Bitch:** _ I will remove you from this chat _

**Duche:** lol Right

**Macncheese:** Heather the librarian’s staring at you

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 12:03  _

**Macncheese:** I DIDN’T MEAN FLIP HER OFF 

**Duche:** Pure fucking genius

**Scarlet-Bitch:** _ That’s why we’re speed walking in the hallway _

**Duche:** lol You’re lucky she’s too proper to yell in her own library or you’d never have gotten out of there

**Scarlet-Bitch:** blah blah who gives a fuck

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we’ll just hang in the art hallway corner like we should’ve done in the FIRST PLACE…

**Macncheese:** sorry, my bad

**Duche:** yeah yeah

**Macncheese:** oh you said you had an idea for what to do with JD! what is it??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I have a plan, not an idea

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and it’s not done yet so I’m keeping it confidential

**Macncheese:** you just don’t want us to be able to say “I told you so”

**Duche:** LOL She’s got you there

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I have a reputation to protect and also no time for this 

**Macncheese:** Why aren’t we talking out loud…?

**Duche:** Fredrickson’s english class has that strict sub today and he cracks down on people talking in the hallways, we just passed that room

**Macncheese:** oh

**Scarlet-Bitch:** she told us to watch out for that earlier, dumbass

**Macncheese:** well I’m sorry lunch threw me off a bit today

**Duche:** Yeah that’s fair. 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** whatever, we’re almost there anyway. stop texting now, I don’t want to have to go through my conversations to find you again

 

**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 20, 2:54 PM _

**V-Soysauce:** FINALLy this Fucking Day is Almost Over

**berryFinn:** jesus right

**berryFinn:** hey Martha, do you want to come over and hang out after we get out? I’ve been bored as hell

**Marsha:** I’d love to but I’m running the crafts club today and Heather McNamara was going to come :(

**V-Soysauce:** oh right

**berryFinn:** hMm

**berryFinn:** nah though it’s fine, some other time 

**Marsha:** Okay! :)

**V-Soysauce:** I thought That Was wednesday?

**Marsha:** Originally yeah, but I asked our director to move it today

**Marsha:** McNamara asked really nicely, she said Heather Chandler didn’t want her at it on wednesday because a lot of the sports teams practice then I think?

**V-Soysauce:** lol, that’ll be More of Her “We Cannot Be Seen Being Uncool” routine

**berryFinn:** that paranoid bitch I swear

**berryFinn:** at least Mac was nice about it

**Marsha:** Yeah, I think it’ll be fun 

**berryFinn:** I should probably be at home anyway, or I’ll forget to call JD

**berryFinn:** after 9 pm, apparently

**V-Soysauce:** Good Luck to Both of You!

**Marsha:** Thanks! I’ll be fine, almost no one’s showing up this week sadly so I won’t have too much work :(

**berryFinn:** thanks, I hope I don’t need it

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 20, 2:58 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m gonna head to the mall after school to restock on makeup and shit and avoid my parents, anyone game?

**Duche:** Why the fuck not

**Macncheese:** I have the stained glass thing with Martha, remember

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh right.

**Duche:** She does have to go though, you made her get Martha to change the time and all…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** none of us  _ have _ to do anything

**Duche:** Come to the text marking side

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and yeah I know.

**Macncheese:** I gotta run though, talk to you later! :)

**Duche:** See ya

**Scarlet-Bitch:** mhm

**Duche:** Oh I do need to go to the mall anyway though, I need to stop at the bookstore 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fucking nerd

**Scarlet-Bitch:** aren’t you in the middle of a series??

**Duche:** Yeah but I’ll be done with it soon

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I need to drag you out more often, you’re going to waste away in your room

**Duche:** Actually I’m fine on makeup I might just skip to the bookstore…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you are fucking not the last time we went to a party you forgot foundation and you looked like a fucking vampire

**Duche:** That’s me being stupid not lack of supply

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I don’t care you’re still coming to the mall

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you need more accessories anyway

**Duche:** Right….

 

**Macncheese + Marsha**

_ November 20, 3:13 PM _

**Macncheese:** uh Martha, is this you…?

**Marsha:** Yeah! 

**Marsha:** Could you not make it? That’s okay

**Macncheese:** no I’m here! I can’t find the right room!

**Marsha:** Oh

**Marsha:** It’s in a weird spot, that’s okay! Go in the art hall, and it’s the room that branches off the foods room

**Marsha:** The door’s on the left side :)

**Macncheese:** OH

**Macncheese:** I WENT BY THERE, I THOUGHT IT WAS A CLOSET

**Marsha:** I don’t know what they were thinking with the design honestly

**Macncheese:** that part of the school was added later actually

**Marsha:** Oh really? That makes a bit more sense then

**Macncheese:** yeah Heather told me one time

**Macncheese:** she knows a lot about the school for some reason

**Marsha:** Sorry, which Heather?

**Macncheese:** oh! Duke, sorry

**Macncheese:** we’re sorta just used to referring to each other by first name :)

**Marsha:** That’s kind of sweet :)

**Macncheese:** I guess

**Macncheese:** I’ll be there in a sec! in the right hall now

**Marsha:** See you in a minute!

 

**berryFinn + JD**

_ November 20, 10:04 PM _

**berryFinn:** JD?

**JD:** Hello.

**berryFinn:** sorry I waited a while extra I didn’t know when to text…

**JD:** It’s okay.

**berryFinn:** so uh

**berryFinn:** are you okay…?

**JD:** I’m fine, thanks

**berryFinn:** sorry…

**JD:** No that wasn’t a passive aggressive thanks

**berryFinn:** jesus I need to hang around Veronica less

**JD:** She seems nice

**berryFinn:** yeah…. jeez it’s been a long time

**berryFinn:** we have a lot to catch up on lol

**JD:** Yeah, I guess we do :)

**berryFinn:** okay the smileys barely work when Martha does them you’re pushing it

**JD:** Sorry….

**berryFinn:** no it’s okay lol

**berryFinn:** by the way, why didn’t you want me to text you before now? or at school

**JD:** It’s…. Hard to explain

**berryFinn:** is it your dad?

**JD:** …

**JD:** yeah

**berryFinn:** what, does he not want you talking to people? lol 

**JD:** That seems to basically be it.

**berryFinn:** wait really 

**berryFinn:** what the fuck

**JD:** He doesn’t like me taking it to school either

**berryFinn:** what the fuck

**berryFinn:** I remember he was an asshold but I didn’t know it was that bad?

**berryFinn:** is that why you stopped texting?

**JD:** Yeah. I’m really sorry I wanted to keep in touch better….

**berryFinn:** it’s sure as hell not your fucking fault

**berryFinn:** I’m surprised your mom is okay with all this? or can she not help

**JD:** ...Oh

**JD:** right

**JD:** Uh….

**JD:** My mom died a couple years ago.

**berryFinn:** WHAT

**berryFinn:** I’M SO SORRY JESUS

**berryFinn:** that must be absolute shit alone with your dad I’m really sorry to hear that

**JD:** It’s fine, nothing you can do about it.

**JD:** FUCK that sounded rude sorry

**berryFinn:** nah it’s okay I’m not the one who’s fucking mom died….

**berryFinn:** how did it happen….?

**berryFinn:** if you don’t mind my asking of course! you don’t have to answer

**berryFinn:** JD?

**JD:** Her health wasn’t great unfortunately. Normal stuff, you know….

**berryFinn:** aww I’m so sorry :(

**berryFinn:** she was the best

**JD:** I know….

**berryFinn:** shit of course you do

**JD:** Can we change the subject? Sorry

**berryFinn:** NO yeah definitely my bad

**JD:** So, what’s Westerberg like?

**berryFinn:** oh jesus you’re in for a ride

**berryFinn:** so we have a bit of a clique problem around here 

**JD:** lol I noticed.

**berryFinn:** yeah, you really got Heather Chandler’s panties in a twist from what Veronica says

**berryFinn:** it’s hilarious and you are my new favorite person for it

**JD:** Who’s Heather Chandler?

**berryFinn:** oh shit

**berryFinn:** so there’re three Heathers, Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara; everyone just calls them the Heathers. they kind of run everything around here, and it’s not that bad unless you get in their way….

……

 

**berryFinn:** so that’s basically it for your rundown of the school

**berryFinn:** since I can’t give you an official Janis and Damian-style tour ;)

**JD:** Wow. Thank you for that

**JD:** Sounds like this place is a bit of a mess, huh?

**berryFinn:** that’s one way to put it yeah

**berryFinn:** but it runs, you know? honestly if the Heathers weren’t here keeping all the other assholes in check it’d probably be a lot worse

**berryFinn:** don’t tell them I said that though

**JD:** lol, Wouldn’t dream of it

**JD:** Hey, um

**JD:** When I get back in school, would you guys mind if I kept sitting with you?

**JD:** If not that’s totally okay I understand

**berryFinn:** uh, duh it’s okay. I’m not sure if you noticed but we aren’t exactly the cool crowd

**berryFinn:** if anything we should be begging you to sit with us 

**JD:** Thanks…. 

**JD:** I should probably head off

**JD:** I need to get this phone into a non-suspicious location

**berryFinn:** oh, okay….

**berryFinn:** do you know when you’ll be back in school?

**JD:** I think the suspension only lasts until next monday

**JD:** But it could change, or my dad could make his own personal adjustments to it….

**berryFinn:** oh fuck I can’t imagine that went over well

**JD:** He hasn’t said anything yet…. He likes to do that, just glance at me sometimes and remind me he remembers. I’ll probably have problems later this week. 

**berryFinn:** oh…. well, at least he didn’t explode about it?

**JD:** I’d kinda prefer that to be honest it’s less unsettling

**berryFinn:** lol, you get unsettled? the only unsettled people around here are Kurt and Ram

**JD:** Thanks, I think

**JD:** Goodnight

**JD:** And, um….

**JD:** Thanks for talking to me

**JD:** Fuck that sounds pathetic

**berryFinn:** no it’s fine! I missed you….

**berryFinn:** I’ll try to talk more, I bet I can get you into our group chat in a bit

**JD:** Oh, really?

**JD:** I don’t know how much I’ll be able to talk but thank you

**JD:** :)

**berryFinn:** that’s still creepy but seriously no problem

**berryFinn:** night!

**berryFinn:** :)

  
  
  
  


**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 21, 9:17 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hey Heather, can sorcerers take animate dead

**Duche:** ….No?

**Duche:** That’s the necromancers’ schtick 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well there goes that backstory idea

**Macncheese:** oh, so we’re doing the session this friday? Yay!

**Duche:** Oh, I was gonna ask about that, good to know

**Scarlet-Bitch:** of course we fucking are you asked me about it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** and we may as well anyway

**Macncheese:** no I didn’t…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yes you did, it was your idea

**Duche:** Yeah we never asked that

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well it sure wasn’t my idea

**Macncheese:** I think it was

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shut up Heather

**Scarlet-Bitch:** the point is I need to rewrite half my fucking backstory now

**Duche:** Yeah, I can relate to that

**Macncheese:** mood

**Duche:** I had to rework a bunch of mine to make it consistent with the campaign setting

**Duche:** My fault for writing it before we started I guess…

**Macncheese:** Martha said she tries to base parts of the story off backstories I think? 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** when the fuck did she tell you that

**Macncheese:** after school yesterday, remember?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh right.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you didn’t mention that to anyone, did you???

**Macncheese:** no it’s fine! basically no one was there anyway

**Macncheese:** it was fun, actually :) I learned quite a bit

**Macncheese:** Martha knows what she’s doing 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah yeah, good

**Duche:** I actually might steal some ideas from this book, I don’t think Martha’s read it

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I saw you reading that ridiculous thing this morning, the hell was that

**Duche:** Way of Kings, pretty good

**Macncheese:** I thought you were reading

**Macncheese:** what was it called…

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hundred thousand kingdoms or whatever

**Duche:** Well, yeah, but I was most of the way through it and Veronica recommended this one

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHAT when

**Duche:** Um, yesterday?

**Macncheese:** that was fast

**Duche:** She said it was good! And I never have anyone to talk about books with….

**Macncheese:** ;)

**Duche:** Oh fuck you

**Scarlet-Bitch:** it’s just amusingly suspicious

**Duche:** Right. Says the girl who was working on a DnD character in class.

**Scarler-Bitch:** KDKADF ITS FUN bitch I know you do the same thing

**Duche:** I’m the nerd it’s my job ;)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hmph

**Macncheese:** so we’re doing the session friday?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I guess…

**Duche:** No need to get so excited Heather

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shut up Heather

**Macncheese:** oh good! I’ll tell Martha

**Duche:** we have a planning chat Heather

**Macncheese:** oh right

 

**Scarlet-Bitch + Macncheese**

_ November 21, 9:29 AM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay so 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** Heather has a crush on Veronica

**Macncheese:** DUH

**Macncheese:** since a long fucking time ago

**Scarlet-Bitch:** nah I think it only got this bad like a few month ago

**Macncheese:** okay fair

**Macncheese:** it’s kind of sad….

**Macncheese:** have you seen the way she looks at her when we’re in the same classes?

**Macncheese:** that and the way she never goes out with us anymore….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah yeah sappy bullshit blah blah blah

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what’re we going to do about it

**Macncheese:** do about it?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we’re in charge around here, our friend has a big fucking crush, what are we gonna do 

**Macncheese:** I mean…

**Macncheese:** Heather’s the one who gets people to do what we want

**Scarlet-Bitch:** BITCH IM GOOD AT THAT

**Macncheese:** no no I know! she’s just the one who’s… subtle about it? you just threaten people

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shut up 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….I mean you’re right though

**Macncheese:** also I mean we could get her with Veronica, maaaaybe, but it’s Veronica

**Macncheese:** not that I mind or anything! I think it’d be sort of cute, but Veronica’s not super popular…wouldn’t that be a problem?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you have a point there, good job I guess

**Scarlet-Bitch:** uh

**Macncheese:** could they keep it a secret?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I don’t think so.

**Macncheese:** like we’re doing with the dnd sessions

**Macncheese:** oh… why not?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean hypotheically we could, but I think people are barely not noticing as it is…. If they were together it’d be really fucking obvious

**Scarlet-Bitch:** Heather’s normally pretty good at keeping things quiet but not this, and Veronica fucking sucks at it

**Macncheese:** true...

**Macncheese:** it’d be mean to, like, tell her to stop though

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I almost want to do that but… yeah it would

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what if

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ...no that doesn’t work

**Macncheese:** dammit why is everyone interesting below our social standing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** everyone is, so duh everyone is

**Scarlet-Bitch:** new kid, they’re less popular than us, yippy skippy

**Macncheese:** ….

**Macncheese:** did you really just say that

**Scarlet-Bitch:** no, I did not, and you better remember it

**Macncheese:** lol right

**Macncheese:** so, uh

**Macncheese:** do we have any ideas

**Scarlet-Bitch:** WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVEYRTHNG 

**Macncheese:** because we trust you to know what to do :)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck you and your accurately sentimental responses 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** …..

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ...and thanks

**Scarlet-Bitch:** BUT ANYWAY I have a couple ideas but I’m not really sure I want to do anything just yet…. we’ll wait a bit and then if nothing blows over I guess we can try to put some sort of plan into motion

**Macncheese:** okay!

**Macncheese:** should I watch Heather and see how she’s doing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** neither of us have a ton of classes with her…. but yeah probably a good idea

_ The chat group has been renamed to “Heather’s crush watch” _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’ll talk to her later and see if I can get more info

**Macncheese:** okay!

**Macncheese:** I really hope she ends up happy 

**Macncheese:** whatever ends up happening

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah… same

**Macncheese:** Imma message the planning chat and tell the others we’re on for friday

**Scarlet-Bitch:** NO DOn’t do that now,w ait a couple days

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we don’t want to look too happy about it

**Macncheese:** lol mkay then, will do

 

**DnD Planning Chat**

_ November 21, 12:01 PM _

**Marsha:** I forgot to ask, sorry

**Marsha:** Are you girls on for friday??

**V-Soysauce:** um, Yes?

**berryFinn:** she means the Heathers dumbass

**V-Soysauce:** oh right.

**Duche:** I think we’re good?

**Macncheese:** probably but we need to discuss it more

**V-Soysauce:** Mac did Chandler just Tell You to Say That so you Wouldn’t Look Happy about it

**Macncheese:** ….

**Macncheese:** maybe

**Scarlet-Bitch:** dfakfaKADSFsadhsd shit up heather

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shit up

**Scarlet-Bitch:** shit up

**Scarlet-Bitch:** SHUT UP

**berryFinn:** LOL

**Duche:** What does that say about the words your autocorrect is used to you writing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** FUCKING NOTHING BITCH

**V-Soysauce:** I see Her point

**Macncheese:** might as well say yes then

**Scarlet-Bitch:** THAT IS MY DECISON

**berryFinn:** hurry up and say yes I have work to do

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ...fine we’ll be there

**Duche:** Thought so.

**Macncheese:** looking forward to it

**Marsha:** Same :) I think I’ve got some stuff you guys will like planned

**V-Soysauce:** Hell Yeah, been working On Some Character ideas Too

**berryFinn:** nerds

**berryFinn:** but yeah same

**Duche:** Oh, Veronica

**V-Soysauce:** ...yeah?

**Duche:** Sorry nevermind

**Duche:** autocorrect

 

**Heather’s crush watch**

_ November 21, 12:04 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** bullshit.

**Macncheese:** what?

**Macncheese:** oh

**Macncheese:** yup

 

**DnD Planning Chat**

_ November 21, 12:04 PM _

**V-Soysauce:** lol gotcha

**berryFinn:** I’ll be there, gotta go

**Marsha:** See you! Though I’m sure we’ll talk before then lol

**V-Soysauce:** lol True

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that’s speaking generously

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 21, 2:41 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** we need to rename this chat….

**Duche:** Do something else funny in DnD and will do ;)

**Macncheese:** I like it it reminds me of that dungeon

**Duche:** I feel like that was a negative experience but go off I guess

**Scarlet-Bitch:** not important

**Scarlet-Bitch:** anyway, uh….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** there’s something I’ve been wanting to discuss.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** about you and Veronica

**Duche:** Oh for the fucking last time I do not like Veronica idiots

**Macncheese:** really…?

**Duche:** YES

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I know we tease you about it and shit

**Scarlet-Bitch:** but I kinda think you do

**Duche:** why the fuck would that be the case, what are you even referring to

**Macncheese:** you bought that book she recommended you the day right after she did so you could discuss it….

**Duche:** so?? I do that with other books all the time

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you really don’t

**Macncheese:** and you sit next to her in all the classes you have together

**Duche:** yeah, because I want to copy off her work. she’s smart, I’m not sure if you noticed

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay I might buy that but you have english together and you’re a really fucking good writer

**Duche:** I’m supposed to be, but apparently fucking not, I’m not sure if you missed the other day

**Macncheese:** well yeah, but you were getting stressed about everything so you couldn’t focus

**Duche:** THATS NOT UNCOMMON

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah but then you called Veronica to get help

**Duche:** right, because she’s fucking good at that

**Macncheese:** yeeeeeeah, but you also walk behind her in the halls all the time, you watch her between classes, you almost took the band period she was in even though you hate band, and whenever we talk about her you look like someone killed your dog

**ScarletBitch:** as Heather so eloquently puts it

**Duche:** ….

**Duche:** I thought I was supposed to run the blackmail network.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** me too, but Heather’s more observant than we give her credit for

**Macncheese:** she’s also right here you know….

**Duche:** right sorry

**Duche:** but

**Duche:** um

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hello???

**Duche:** FINE maybe I do

**Duche:** not a ton or anything

**Duche:** but of course I do a little

**Macncheese:** it’s okay!! it’s not like it’s a bad thing….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** what do you mean “a little” and what the fuck do you mean “of course”

**Duche:** like I’m not obsessed with her or anything

**Duche:** but you know

**Duche:** she’s cute

**Duche:** especially her hair when it flops over part of her face, and that stupid monocle she wears sometimes

**Duche:** and she’s always liked the books I like

**Duche:** and she’d kind of a writing and fantasy nerd, have you seen some of the stuff she wrote for Fleming’s class?

**Macncheese:** you have…?

**Duche:** plus she’s confident, she can stand up to us more than most people; even Betty who obviously hates us gets nervous, Veronica doesn’t

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean yeah, but she was visibly worried about Kurt and Ram

**Duche:** _ I _ get worried about fucking Kurt and Ram! 

**Duche:** and before you say anything you know what I mean

**Duche:** but also she’s really creative in general, like the way she works through problems

**Duche:** and the way her face gets when she’s reading or writing something, like she’s somewhere else without all the problems the rest of us have...

**Duche:** ….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I think “a little” might be a bit of an understatement Heather.

**Duche:** I guess you’re right….

**Macncheese:** awww you really do like her

**Duche:** SHUT UP HEATHER

**Duche:** IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER

**Macncheese:** what do you mean? of course it matters

**Duche:** NO because she obviously doesn’t like me, idiots, and it’s not like I could ever ask her out or anything anyway

**Duche:** she’s unpopular so there goes that, and I’m pretty sure she dislikes us for being assholes to everyone, and anyway why the fuck would she want to be around the lazy antisocial idiot who sits in her room all day and can only talk from behind her friend

**Scarlet-Bitch:** oh

**Macncheese:** I don’t think that’s true….

**Duche:** well I hate to break it to you but you’re fucking wrong

**Macncheese:** if she disliked you, why would she help you with things?

**Macncheese:** she at least must tolerate you….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** way to raise her spirits, Heather

**Macncheese:** IM SORRY it was the only thing I could think of

**Duche:** well yeah, she tolerates someone she pities to try and help them, but I’m just an annoyance she’s too nice to tell she doesn’t like.

**Duche:** Nothing’s going to happen, so drop it.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you can’t say that and then tell us to drop it

**Duche:** FUCKING END OF CONVERSATION, HEATHER

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ….

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fine.

**Macncheese:** okay….

**Duche:** Thank you.

**Duche:** Now, what are our transportation plans for friday night, and what are we doing saturday? We haven’t discussed that yet.

 

**Heather’s crush watch**

_ November 21, 2:52 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** well at least we know now…

**Macncheese:** fuck

**Macncheese:** that’s

**Macncheese:** really depressing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I’m fucking aware of that

**Macncheese:** so is there nothing we can do?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** I mean, I guess getting Heather to make the first move is out of the question…. and she’s still right about Veronica being unpopular

**Scarlet-Bitch:** wait

**Macncheese:** what?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** ...I might have an idea

**Macncheese:** oh! what is it??

**Scarlet-Bitch:** sorry I can’t tell you or it won’t work as well

**Macncheese:** uh, okay….

**Macncheese:** I trust you that it will work though :)

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you’re too trusting, it’s going to be a problem one of these days you know

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 21, 2:53 PM _

**Duche:** ...Hello? Heather?

 

**Heather’s crush watch**

_ November 21, 2:53 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** fuck she changed the subject to something actually important

**Macncheese:** probably intentional

**Scarlet-Bitch:** mhm. well I’ll see if this plan will work

**Macncheese:** how will I know if you do it?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** you’ll know.

 

**Heather Set A Fire And She…**

_ November 21, 2:55 PM _

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay, so

**Scarlet-Bitch:** there’s a football game friday, which normally Heather would have to be at for cheerleading

**Scarlet-Bitch:** however, it’s an away game

**Macncheese:** FUCK I forgot about that

**Macncheese:** wait I love cheerleading how are we going to be at Martha’s if we have a game

**Scarlet-Bitch:** hold on

**Scarlet-Bitch:** unfortunately, the game is so late at night that they won’t make the cheerleaders go

**Duche:** That game’s at 6 like they always are, what are you on about?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that would normally be true

**Scarlet-Bitch:** however, the coach will sadly leave all the equipment at the school. by the time they turn around and get it, it’ll be far later and the cheerleading bus will be cancelled

**Macncheese:** how the hell do you know that?

**Duche:** Oh I see where this is going.

**Scarlet-Bitch:** if for some reason the coach doesn’t forget, he might find that his wife somehow gets an anonymous link to a folder of images detailing said coach’s recent affair with the special ed director

**Scarlet-Bitch:** as you can imagine it would be quite the disaster

**Duche:** LOL

**Scarlet-Bitch:** if Heather isn’t on the cheerleading bus in the first place, probably due to a minor illness, she’ll hardly be missing anything once it gets cancelled

**Macncheese:** that’s mean as fuck, I love it

**Duche:** Same, this is the best one you’ve come up with yet

**Duche:** Well, besides the gym teacher/prom DJ/vodka thing from last year

**Duche:** I mean I have to organize that now but I have time

**Scarlet-Bitch:** glad to hear it. 

**Scarlet-Bitch:** okay so for saturday

**Scarlet-Bitch:** basically the normal routine I think? party starts at 9, we’ll be there at 9:30, wear decent clothes but nothing special, Heather hang around Kurt and flirt with his drunk ass so he keeps listening to us, Heather try and pay attention to who’s with who

**Macncheese:** okay, sounds good

**Duche:** Fine...

**Scarlet-Bitch:** is that a problem??

**Duche:** Nah it’s the best thing for me to be doing

**Scarlet-Bitch:** uh, okay then

**Macncheese:** we’ll sort out the transportation in a couple days right?

**Scarlet-Bitch:** yeah

**Scarlet-Bitch:** that’s that then, we get out in a sec

**Macncheese:** good

**Macncheese:** and uh

**Macncheese:** Heather?

**Duche:** Hmm?

**Macncheese:** ….I don’t think Veronica dislikes you

**Duche:** ….

 

_ Moments later, each of the Heathers stood up and walked for the door of their respective classrooms. The teachers glanced up, curious as to why someone was leaving before the bell, before rolling their eyes and going back to their work. Arguing with the Heathers would cause more trouble than it would prevent, after all.  _

_ Heather Chandler strode out of her physics class and glanced down the hallway. It was largely empty, the stairs visible on one end and the hall forking to the sides on the other. She shook her head, and began walking.  _ Walk, dumbass; that’s why you’re out here in the first place. We wouldn’t want to have the same traffic problems as the masses, would we?

_ Heather Duke walked down a hall at the opposite end of the school, her expression unreadable. On a whim, she took a side hallway that would bring her to a more roundabout route out of the school.  _ They know now anyway, fuck it. Not like I have anything better to do.

_ Heather McNamara quickly left her classroom, not wanting to miss meeting up with the other two. It was kind of annoying to leave early all the time, you know? They’d get there just as fast either way.  _ I wonder if the others are doing anything…. I almost hope they are, I sort of want to try making some of my own pattern ideas for the crafts club.

_ Veronica Saywer stood up and began her slow journey to the front doors a minute later. Sure, most people went to their lockers, but she’d always just carried her bag with her. It wasn’t super heavy, and the faster she could get out of here the better.  _ If anyone in this damn place could just say what they meant, that would be great. That way, you can tell who the assholes are, leave them to go fuck themselves, and focus on the people who are worth it around here.

_ Betty Finn had to scramble to leave after hurriedly finishing an essay at the last minute, upon which she sprang up and joined the crowd now mulling about the hallways. Annoying. Everything was annoying. She sighed, before forcing a smile onto her face. That way, everyone would assume she had somewhere better to be.  _ I mean, home is better than here, you have to admit that. And honestly it’s not like I can complain; I have people to talk to who talk to me for who I am, that’s more than half these douchebags can probably say.

_ They each took their own respective routes towards the exit. Chandler and Mac and Betty took the direct way, the sensible way. Veronica took a slightly meandering pathway down near the band hallway, enjoying the sensation of not having any work to urgently complete. And Duke simply took a route she had been taking for a while now. Eventually, they all ended up in the lobby, so to speak.  _

_ Heather Duke was standing off to the side, in a position that would be hard to reach if you didn’t know how to time it, glancing from side to side over the crowd. Chandler and McNamara wormed their way through the crowd on the opposite side, eventually noticing Duke.  _

_ Duke, however, wasn’t looking at them; her eyes followed a head through the crowd, occasionally emerging as a face. A face with a neutrally unhappy expression, blue eyes, and shoulder length brown hair. After a moment, Veronica Sawyer too made it out of the doors. All the while, Heather Duke’s expression was visible to anyone who watched as slowly fading from sadness to resignment. But no one did watch; no one except the other Heathers. _

_ And so Heather Chandler made up her mind.  _

  
  
  
  


**Loser Solidarity**

_ November 22, 8:06 AM _

**berryFinn:** life is dull and meaningless

**V-Soysauce:** Good Morning to You too

**V-Soysauce:** any Specific Context for That?

**berryFinn:** I mean it’s morning and all but I just keep realizing how much stuff we can’t do with the robotics club anymore

**berryFinn:** like a month ago I’d be staying after school most days for it; helping out the newbs, making sure everything’s run correctly, emailing everyone to try and get hints of what the other schools are up to

**berryFinn:** and now we can’t do half as much because we’ve lost half our computers, and no one’s joining anymore

**berryFinn:** the members we have barely show up now

**berryFinn:** the whole thing’s just shit

**V-Soysauce:** I’m Really Sorry…. Is there Anything I can do To Help?

**berryFinn:** thanks but unless you’re an expert programmer and capable of running a propaganda network that would make hitler jealous I don’t think there is, no

**berryFinn:** it’s not all bad though, I’m getting a lot of guitar practice

**V-Soysauce:** I thought You Said You needed To Work on the Band Pieces….?

**berryFinn:** it’s hard to get anger out playing trombone, I’ll work on them this weekend.

**V-Soysauce:** ah, Fair

**Marsha:** Hey girls!

**V-Soysauce:** hi Grandma

**berryFinn:** lol sup

**Marsha:** Nothing really. About to head to band

**Marsha:** See you there!

**berryFinn:** FUCK it’s a 1 day

**berryFinn:** I’m gonna get drilled for not practicing aren’t I

**V-Soysauce:** nah, Make Something Up, Wilkin’s lenient Like That

**berryFinn:** yeah but it’s hard to lie to him, he’s like a dorky puppy dog

**Marsha:** That might be the best description of him I’ve heard

**V-Soysauce:** not Like Any of Our Songs are That Hard Anyway, a 7th Grader could Play Half This Crap

**berryFinn:** I KNOW why can’t we do something interesting

**V-Soysauce:** because They’d Be Too Hard for Half These Idiots….

**berryFinn:** mhm

**berryFinn:** hold on a second

**berryFinn:** where the hell are the Heathers this morning

**V-Soysauce:** um

**V-Soysauce:** that’s a Good Question?

**Marsha:** You’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry up you know

**Marsha:** Oh that is a good question

**Marsha:** I saw Heather Chandler like rushing into a hallway this morning? I remember thinking it was weird, since they usually like to be in the middle of everything

**berryFinn:** bitches are probably out to ruin someone’s day, knowing them

**V-Soysauce:** definitely Possible but They Normally don’t Seem to Have Trouble Doing That from Plain Sight….

**berryFinn:** hmm

**V-Soysauce:** probably Just Conducting Sensitive Matters or some bullshit, We’ll Probably see Them later Normally

**berryFinn:** I kinda want to look for them and see if they’re up to something

**Marsha:** The first bell just rang…

**V-Soysauce:** fuck I’m Coming

**berryFinn:** yeah yeah this instrument’s heavy while texting

**V-Soysauce:** uh…. Guys

**berryFinn:** what is it?

**V-Soysauce:** I don’t think You’ll have To Look for the Heathers

**berryFinn:** wait did you run into them??

**V-Soysauce:** sort of?? they’re Just Kind of Standing in the Hall in front of Me?

**V-Soysauce:** fuck they saw me

**berryFinn:** be careful!

**V-Soysauce:** gotta go talk later sorry

**berryFinn:** Veronica if you fucking die I swear

**berryFinn:** VERONICA

**Marsha:** Band’s starting, I think she’s talking to them… You’d better get in here

**berryFinn:** yeah yeah I’m right outside the door hold your unicorns

**berryFinn:** just irrationally concerned about what’s going on I guess….

  
  


_ The Heathers, as it happened, had not taken their normal position walking down the center of the halls. Instead, prompted by a somewhat hasty and poorly explained text wall early this morning, the three had met up in a side hall near the gym. Heather Chandler led the way, refusing to give much of an explanation, and ended up pacing in the hall. Occasionally, some jock would walk by, only to immediately turn around wordlessly upon being glared at by one of the three. Usually Chandler. _

_ After several minutes, just when McNamara and Duke were about to start blurting questions, Chandler sighed. “I guess this won’t work right now. Fuck, I could’ve sworn she usually walks by here…” _

_ The other two shot each other confused glances. As she was hurrying to follow Chandler out into the main hall (they were certainly late for class by now, but when had that every been a problem), Heather McNamara remembered her conversation with Chandler yesterday. That couldn’t have anything to do with this, could it…? _

_ Heather Chandler paused, and Mac almost ran into her in her musings. Duke paused off to the side, glancing in annoyance at the both of them. “What the hell are you…” _

_ Veronica Sawyer was standing down the hall from them, phone and bag in hand, staring at the Heathers warily.  _

_ Duke and Mac could’ve sworn they heard Chandler take a nervous breath in (not that they’d bring it up of course), and they strode down the hall towards Veronica. _

 

“Where the hell were you guys this morning?” Veronica asked cautiously. She refused to back away from the traffic light-esque trio glowering in front of her, instead choosing to ask a hopefully neutral question.

Chandler scowled. “Not your concern, Sawyer.” She began to say something else, but then a peculiar expression came over her face. It looked like… restraint? Not something you’d expect from her, anyway. She shook her head slightly and continued. “Locker room, now. ...Please,” she forced the last word out, gesturing to a door next to the group labeled “Women’s Locker Room”.

Duke and Mac looked at each other again, confusion clear on their faces. Veronica guessed Chandler hadn’t fully informed them about… whatever this was. She brought her senses together and looked back at Chandler. “Why?”

“Please just move. I’m making an effort here, you know,” Heather said, her expression unreadable. 

Veronica swallowed. She could try to run, but that would probably end poorly. Even if the Heathers couldn’t catch her in heels (and she wasn’t willing to bet on that), they were more a force of nature than something you could run from. Like a bitchy, multicolored tornado.  _ Not one of my better analogies but I’m pressed for time here. _

Eventually, she responded hesitantly; “Okay?” She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder, pocketed her phone, and walked over to the door, pushing it open and glancing over her shoulders as she did so. The Heathers followed.

She stepped through the second door, wrinkling her nose at the smell of gym students who needed to pay a lot more attention to their deodorant. The room was lined with lockers on the left and back walls, with a bathroom containing a row of stalls branching off from the right side. Clothes were heaped in several piles in the corners, and the fire alarm on the wall was hanging off a screw. It could’ve been worse, for a locker room, but that was a low fucking bar. It was probably better than the boys’, but she couldn’t say for sure. The room was empty except for them, and the door slowly closed with a somewhat foreboding  _ thunk  _ behind Heather Duke. With the sound, the fading sounds of conversation from the hallways and suddenly very far away-seeming classrooms silenced.  _ Why the hell would any of them want to come in here? What the fuck is going on? Am I being blackmailed? _

From the looks on their faces, the two shorter Heathers had the same questions. 

Heather Chandler stood up to her full height, and the look of confidence returned mostly to her face. “Well, Sawyer, we seem to be encountering each other more and more often lately.”

Veronica nodded nervously.  _ That sounds like a prepared speech, never a good sign. _

“...And I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but weird shit keeps happening whenever you’re around. JD and your glasses-wearing nerd accomplice-”  _ Okay maybe not super prepared  _ “- do shit too, but you’re the one who causes all this mess.”

Veronica raised an eyebrow. “It’s not like there’ve been alien attacks around me, there was like one fight.”

Chandler rolled her eyes. “That’s not the point, Sawyer. The point is that you don’t seem to know how authority works around here.” 

“You know, that sounds awfully like the bullshit Kurt and Ram were trying to feed us the other day,” Veronica said, frowning. “I’m not sure if you guys can get your heads out of the perfume clouds long enough to notice, but you’re not legally in charge around here. People don’t have to do whatever you say just because you want to look good, or you want to get out of doing something yourself.” She regretted the words a bit immediately, but she felt better for having said them. 

Chandler stared at her for a second before giving an almost amused huff and beginning  to pace back and forth. “This is exactly what I was getting to. You’re basically the only one around this dump who ever argues with a word we say. You, and I bet JD or whatever his name is, but he’s….”  _ What the hell is that expression?  _ “...Not here right now, so I can worry about him later.”

Veronica didn’t really know how to respond to that. It was true, duh- she’d always taken pride in her ability to recklessly stand up to authority (though some of her teachers had thought differently of that particularly trait)- but what did they want her to do do about it?. She settled for nervously adjusting her scarf and responding hesitantly, “So…. What, you want me to stop standing up to you guys?”

From behind the still-pacing Chandler, Heather Duke rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well that’d be great but we all know the chances of that happening.”

Chandler whipped her head around. “Shut up, Heather!” Duke rolled her eyes (it seemed to be a signature expression of hers) and went back to staring at the floor. She seemed oddly nervous.  _ Even more than Chandler…. What the fuck is going on? _

Chandler stopped pacing. “As convenient as that would be, Heather has a point. We know you’re not going to fucking do that any time soon, and your friends wouldn’t even if you did. You’re just a thorn in our side, and it’s getting to be a real threat to the stability of our…” She sounded like she was going to say “rule”, but realized how that sounded. “...Position.”

Veronica frowned. “So, what the hell are you going to do? Murder me and make it look like a suicide? Ship me off to North Korea?” She gestured around the room; the scent was still quite noticeable. “Lock me in here and let the corrosive fumes reduce me to a skeleton?”

“As fun as that would be,” Chandler said, now leaning against the lockers as if in a desperate attempt to seem casual, “I think we have a more mutually beneficial solution.” She stepped up to Veronica, her heels giving her a slight height advantage that seemed like miles. “I want you to join us.”

  
  
  


Veronica gaped at her. So, for that matter, did Duke and McNamara. “You want me to  _ what?” _

Chandler rolled her eyes. “Am I speaking english? I said I want you to join us.”

“Like…. Join the Heathers?”

“Yes.”

McNamara stepped forward slightly and began to speak to Chandler hesitantly. “Is this the-”

“Maybe, shut up,” Chandler waved her back impatiently. Mac stepped back, looking uncertain but less confused than Duke (who appeared completely baffled) for some reason.

Veronica looked rapidly between the three of them.  _ This has to be a trick, they’ve  _ never  _ wanted anyone to join them before… the kids who asked always got their ignorant asses so humiliated they didn’t show up in school for a week. Wait, shit, I need to respond- _

Before she could do more than open her mouth, Chandler began talking again. “This isn’t a trick, before you ask. We’re not fucking with you.” She was leaning against the wall again.  _ She looks…. Nervous? She definitely didn’t ask the others about that, that seems unusual.  _ “I’ve decided that we need to have someone to be our double agent.”

Veronica thought she might know what she meant now. “Like…. Someone to spy on the losers?”

Chandler smiled thinly. “That was quick. And not exactly. More like someone who’s been with them long enough she knows everything about them. Of the unpopular people, the idiots who sit in the back of the lunchroom and everything, you know about most of them. You know what they want, how they think about stuff, where they hang out. Who’s fucking who, literally or not.”

Duke turned to Chandler, looking uncomfortable. “I thought that was my job…?” She frowned. “And anyway, why the hell didn’t you ask us about this? So much for us being a team or whatever you always-” 

“Shu- quiet Heather,” Chandler said, pursing her lips. “I…. it’s not the same thing. You get us information and shit, and you’re really good at it, but you don’t know what it’s like to be one of the losers. Veronica does, and it could be helpful to us.”

“Okay, I guess that’s fair, but that wouldn’t make her a double agent, that’s just recruiting someone who knows how your enemy thinks. A double agent would be like-”

“Snape, I know, you’ve explained this to me,” Chandler snapped at her.  _ Why does Heather Chandler know who-  _ “You know what I mean.” She turned back to Veronica. “This will get remove you as a threat and gain us a good resource.” She tapped her foot impatiently. “So hurry up and accept, there’s only so late I want to be for class you know.”

Veronica glanced at Duke, who looked worried, and Mac, who looked confused. “What if I refuse?”

Chandler’s expression took on a dangerous look . “Why the fuck would you do that? Chance of a lifetime, bitch.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want a permanent commission to the lipgloss gestapo? Not everyone wants to be popular, you know,” Veronica said. Chandler was now standing just inches away from her, but she still refused to move.

There was a tense moment. Chandler glared at Veronica for what seemed like minutes. Finally, she smiled. It sounded almost like she was trying not to laugh. “And this is why I want you with us. You’re wasted on being a loser.” She stepped back and gestured with her hands around them; referring to the school, presumably, not the locker room. “Think of what you’d be able to do with our help. You wouldn’t have to wait in line at lunch behind the jocks for twenty minutes. You hand in assignments whenever you want, no one gives a fuck. Nobody cares if you’re late, because  _ everyone  _ loves you.” She raised her eyebrows. “The fights and shit that happen all the time? You decide when those happen. Your old friends aren’t at the mercy of the fucking morons on the football team anymore. Jesse James or whatever his name is could have a lot easier time around here.” She paused. “Of course, if you don’t care about any of that, I guess nothing will change. You’ll be stuck in the same place you’ve always been, unable to help anyone.”

Veronica considered this for a long pause.

……

 “You really did rehearse that speech, didn’t you?”

Chandler huffed, losing the dramatic look. “Of course I fucking did, I’m not going to screw up the first chance at a supervillain ‘join me and we can rule the galaxy’ speech, am I?” Behind her, Duke stifled a giggle. The whole situation was just so surreal.  _ I can’t believe I’m seriously considering this.  _

Finally, she took a deep breath. “And if I do, I can still hang out with my friends, right? You don’t touch them or harm them in any way.”

Chandler frowned. “That’ll start rumors, if one of us is seen around the scum of the-”

“Say yes, or no deal.”

“....Very well.”  _ That was fast. _

Veronica reflexively looked around the room one last time. This wasn’t a joke, was it. “Okay, I’ll join you.”

Chandler’s face lit up- well, it would have if she was anyone else. In reality it just took on an even more dramatic evil grin. “Glad to hear it.” She snapped her fingers. “Heather, bag.”

McNamara stepped up- she was smiling now, she must’ve known something Veronica didn’t- and handed Chandler the shopping bag she was holding.  _ Did she have that before….?  _ Chandler took it without looking and rummaged within it until she pulled out a bundle wrapped in paper. The other two craned their necks to look over at it; they obviously didn’t know what was going on either. 

After a moment Chandler had whatever it was unwrapped and handed it to Veronica. “Go change into this. Quickly.”

Veronica looked at her in disbelief, not taking the package. “Hang on, you brought  _ clothes  _ for me to change into?”

Chandler shook the bundle of clothes in her hand. “Well, we can’t have you seen with us like  _ that,  _ can we?”

Veronica looked down at herself. She was wearing slightly worn sweatpants, a T-shirt, a denim jacket that probably should’ve been washed a couple days ago, and a scarf that wrapped around her shoulders and had her monocle tucked into it somewhere. “...You might have a point there I guess.” Slowly, she took the clothes, looking over to one of the bathroom stalls. “You want me to change in there? I would’ve thought you had higher standards. Plus, this place has got to be a health hazard-”

“I don’t give a fuck, change out here if you want.” At this, Duke let out a somewhat strangled noise.  _ What’s up with her today? _

Veronica nodded hastily and ducked into one of the stalls.

 

…..

“Heather, this skirt is  _ really _ -”

“Just put the fucking thing on, Sawyer.”

After several minutes (this was really not the kind of stuff she was used to wearing-) Veronica hesitantly stepped out of the stall. She wore a white shirt with a blue blazer, a grey and white striped skirt, blue stockings, and the same shoes she’d worn before. It was very… monochromatic. 

McNamara grinned enthusiastically. “Oh, you look so good!” 

Duke was staring at her with an unreadable expression. Probably trying to analyze how long she would take to embarrass them all.  _ This was not a good idea, Veronica. _

Heather Chandler stood in the center, looking her up and down with a critical eye. “The shoes need work, but they’ll do for now.” She stepped up to Veronica holding something, and Veronica flinched slightly. Chandler rolled her eyes. “I’m not a vampire, Veronica.”  _ What, am I elevated to the first name hivemind status now?  _ She held up a pin like a stylized blue and white flower, which she carefully pinned in front of Veronica’s neck. The whole thing had a sense of finality about it. “That’s good enough for short notice, I think.”

Veronica glanced at herself in a mirror next to the bathroom stalls and the almost definitely non-functional sink.  _...Holy shit. _

Before she could do much more than give herself a once-over, Chandler yanked her arm. “What the fuck-”

“We need to get to class on time; we’re popular and shit but we can’t control the student body if we’re stuck in detention.”

Veronica frowned. “Does that happen often? I thought you guys were immune to that.”

Duke shrugged. “Usually we are, but some teachers are hard-asses. Heere and Wilson and those idiots.” She grinned. “And when we do get in trouble, I make sure no one hears about it.”

Veronica smirked. “So the rumors about you running the blackmail network over the school are true?”

Duke blushed. “I guess you could call it that.” She looked over Veronica again and it looked like she was going to comment on her appearance, but she stopped talking.

Chandler snapped her fingers impatiently. “I have plans for after school today, let’s move it bitches.”

Veronica looked at her in confusion. “What do I do with these clothes?” She gestured with the ones she was holding.

Chandler shrugged and tossed the bag to her, which she caught awkwardly. “Stick them in here, put them in your bag or something.”

“Great, thanks,” Veronica replied, carefully folding her scarf into the bag. It was a nice scarf. She finished and looked up. “And you don’t need to worry about class, can’t you just forge an excuse note or something?”

The Heathers looked at her in disbelief. “The teachers here aren’t idiots, they know when students try to forge shit like that,” Chandler sneered.

McNamara nodded. “Yeah, we used to try and they caught on really fast.”

Veronica frowned and took a piece of paper and a pen out of the pocket of her sweatpants before shoving them into the shopping bag. “That’s odd, I’ve never had that problem…” She walked over to the lockers, set the paper against the wall, and carefully scrawled something on it. 

“What’s that?” Mac asked in confusion. Veronica impatiently waved her hand at her before walking back over and handing what appeared to be an absence note to Chandler. Chandler raised her eyebrows.

“This is… an excellent forgey. Erikson’s, from the office, right?”

“Yeah,” Veronica shuffled uncomfortably. 

Duke walked over and inspected it curiously. “How the fuck did you do that?”

Veronica shrugged. “I practiced a lot last year so I could….”  _ So I could get out of class during attacks, but I’m not going to tell them that  _ “...So I could get out of class to help Betty with stuff.”

Mac looked excited. “Can you do that for other teachers and stuff? That could be really handy.”

Veronica thought for a moment. “I think I can do all of them? Maybe not a couple of the IT department guys, since they never hand out anything signed.”

Chandler shrugged. “Who gives a fuck about them? Now we don’t have to worry about being caught in the halls by Fleming anymore!”

Duke nodded. “Or if we’re creative we can probably hang out in the empty classrooms without getting caught. If we don’t do it too often anyway.”

Veronica smiled uncertainly. “I thought most people could… So, uh, are we not worried about being late now?”

Chandler turned to her. “We should still get to class to minimize the number of nerds I need to threaten, but no, we’re not.” She smiled, a disconcerting expression. “You’re going to be more useful than I thought. Now let’s move. I’ll finish briefing you later.” She gave everyone a quick once-over to make sure they were fit to be seen in public, her eyes lingering on Veronica, and then whirled around and headed out the door.

Veronica followed after Duke and McNamara.  _ What the fuck did I just get into…. _

 

_ And so the four Heathers reappeared in the hallway, heading their separate ways to class. It was a shame they wouldn’t be able to make a dramatic entrance together because of the time, but people would see Veronica and start talking, and they’d figure it out soon enough.  _

_ Chandler walked in front, secretly very pleased at how the whole thing had gone.  _ We have to be careful now though, everyone and their grandma will be trying to join us. I’ll have to get Heather on making sure they don’t get too confident. And hopefully, now we can get Heather to see some sense about Veronica.

_ McNamara waved to Veronica and Duke before turning with Heather to get to their class.  _ Well, Heather was right about me recognizing her idea. This is going to be fun! Veronica’s kind of cool, and we haven’t had a new member in, well, ever. I hope she doesn’t hate us for being bitches all the time  _ too _ much….

_ Veronica herself was still in somewhat of a stupor, compounded with a sense of weirdness from wearing a “Heather-ified” outfit. She barely noticed when Chandler and Mac left and walked habitually towards the band hall.  _ Well, I lived. What the  _ fuck  _ are Betty and Martha going to say? Fuck, what am  _ I  _ going to say? I think my life just got a lot more complicated. 

_ And as Veronica too turned away, Heather Duke breathed a sigh of relief as she was left alone walking down the center of the hall. Usually she’d be nervous about being alone but at the moment she had other things on her mind.  _ This is going to be interesting.


End file.
